Darcy’s introduction in Pride and Prejudice is really ‘what if you had just had the worst month of your life because your ex-bestie tried to lover boy scam your baby sister out of her share of your dad’s life insurance and your friend dragged you to a shitty party in a dive bar in the neighbourhood where he’d just signed a short term lease, and you decided to let your bad mood show because you were never going to see any of the assholes in this stupid shitty bar EVER again. And your friend ended up making out with a girl he’d just met there while you were stuck talking to her sister who was less cute and then her mother appeared and started trying to matchmake and started saying how if she was twenty years younger she’d clime you like a redwood and ooooh is that a black Amex, guess the next round is on you hahhahahahaha, while her other sister (how many fucking sisters does she have?!) flashed an obviously fake ID at the bar and ordered six vodka-diet red bulls and no one in her family except the less-cute sister even tried to stop her. And you went home and consoled yourself that you would never see any of these people again but then you met them over and over again because they live next door and your friend and the cute sister keep meeting up to make out but not actually date and then. You fall in love with the less-cute sister because it turns out she’s really witty and charismatic but she already knows and remembers and resents the fact that on a day when you were in a shitty mood you called her mid out loud in a dive bar.’

“mohan and abbot need to fuck” i say into the mic. the crowd boos. i begin to walk off the stage in shame. “no, she’s right.” i hear a voice in the back say. the lights come on. it’s shawn hatosy.

what if mel wears her hair down into work one day with the plan of tying it back when she gets there and langdon walks into a wall

still thinking about trinity santos. she saw her best friend die because a system failed her and then she found the skrunkliest little dude in the pitt and realized he was at risk of falling through the cracks too and this time, she made the save

trinity santos managed to attract every hot woman in the er, uncover a drug diversion scheme, infiltrate princess and perlah's chismis operation, perform a successful reboa that all the senior residents and attendings are now gossiping about, and put a roof over a homeless sopping wet kitten's head, all on her first day on the job

what if you were a MED STUDENT and it was you FIRST SHIFT in emergency medicine and then you spilled MYLANTA on yourself and you had to CHANGE YOUR SCRUBS and then a patient BLED all over you and you had to CHANGE YOUR SCRUBS and RIGHT AFTER THAT a boy BARFED BLOOD all over you and you had to CHANGE YOUR SCRUBS and then a some guy PEED on you and you had to CHANGE YOUR SCRUBS and you looked like a BABY OWL