The simple power âNo.â has canât be understated. Itâs especially fun those first few times someone hears it. When theyâre forced to contend with the reality that everything theyâve taken for granted is now something they need to request. Something theyâll need to beg for.
âNo, youâre not wearing that outfit.â Iâm going to send them back to change again and again until their dress suits my tastes. Makeup, hair, even the jewelry and perfume they wear will be changed and decided outside what they thought was correct, or was their preference.
Personally, my favoriteâs always the shock in their eyes when you drag them off the couch that first time. âAnimals need permission to sit on furniture.â Even when they ask, the answer will be âNo.â Theyâll sit on the floor, by my feet where an animal should be. I want them close to me, where I just need to reach out to feel the top of their head. Thereâs a pout at first, but eventually they always relax and settle their head against my leg.
Even something so simple as leaving my side to go to the bathroom has to be requested, and that is denied with a simple âNo.â No, they donât get to decide something so basic as that. I hate doggie doors, and Iâm not ready to get up yet, so no. Theyâll stay put, only able to hope with mounting desperation that Iâll take pity on them as they squirm.Â
Iâm training them to hesitate.
When getting ready for a date, their mind should be focused on me, my tastes, and how I enjoy seeing them dressed and presented. When guided to a chair in a restaurant, their first instinct should be to look to me, to hesitate, until Iâve nodded my head and given them permission.
The end goal, of course, is for that hesitation to eventually vanish. Training becomes second nature, ingrained to the point itâs closer to reflex. The worry over the decisions they used to fret over, becomes confidence as they learn to follow my lead without a second thought.
Iâm not allowing them the anxiety of choice.
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