cherry valley forever
Xuebing Du
shark vs the universe
taylor price
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
roma★
trying on a metaphor
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sade Olutola
todays bird
oozey mess
Claire Keane
occasionally subtle
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
will byers stan first human second
DEAR READER
KIROKAZE
Origami Around
seen from Ukraine
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Indonesia
seen from Russia
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Brazil
seen from Malaysia
seen from Morocco
seen from Morocco
seen from Morocco
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
@yoghurt-bimbo
irish coworker: *is back from a month in italy*
me: the weather must have been great, you're looking so tanned!
irish coworker: *stares down at his arms, which are a shade of eggshell white i associate with tasteful wedding table settings* i suppose i am!
welsh coworker: *enters room* wow, youre looking so tanned!
ghanaian coworker: *looks around like hes on the truman show*
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For KSlivensky on bsky, a fledgling Chipping Sparrow! Thank you for the Waymakers donation!
For info, to donate + request a bird: https://act.theyoungcenter.org/a/birdsbeyondborders
Every dollar raised goes to help unaccompanied immigrant kids in the US. Ends Sept. 30! One week left!
Parenting hack via my father: He was a single father and very stressed all the time. We were pretty crazy kids and getting us to do anything was a hassle. He made up a game to get us to eat veggies/try new things, where my siblings and I were bunnies and he was a farmer protecting his crops.
We would have to sneak into the kitchen and ‘steal’ his crops (cut up veggies that he put out for us), while he wasn’t looking (ie: making dinner/getting work done)
If he saw us, he would get really theatrical and ‘chase’ us with a broom, hollerin’ about pesky rabbits and all that, while we would run away and scarf down the veggies in hiding. Then the game would start again.
A carrot has never tasted so good.
(As an aside, I don’t know how he got any work done in the end, but I don’t know if he actually cared so long as we ate lol)
Amazing stupendous wonderful I’m stealing
that is some stunningly blatant reverse psychology, very clever
[ID: tags by @syntax-horror which read "'a carrot has never tasted so good' the secret ingredient is crime" ED.]
The secret ingredient has always been crime.
Pulitzer Prize type shit
Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot
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when you think about it it's just kind of crazy how you can be neglected and abused your whole childhood instead of experiencing a brief moment of being taken care of while learning how to be a person, and then once you're an adult it's like ok now i'm still essentially raising myself in a shitty situation but this time my adult peers are like mad at me because i'm not as emotionally healthy as them, and on top of that i still have to save my own life
and it's not that i expect to be rescued it's that i'm tired of having to save myself
also sick of being condescendingly told "nobody's coming to save you, you have to save yourself" as if i'm not painfully aware of that as i have been doing this shit my whole life but i just want somewhere safe to rest momentarily without my life falling apart
Fairy: Hey I didn’t get your name.
Me: Yeah that was on purpose.
Fairy: Oh my god stealing people’s names has been categorized as a war crime for like a hundred years. Do I seem like the kind of fairy that would do war crimes?
Me: Well yes, but that’s just my impression of you personally. Not fairies in general.
Fairy: You’re smarter than I thought.
Me: So is the fairy monarch democratically elected?
Fairy: I think the one from a small corner of Alabama might be but for the most part, no. It’s still decided by a contest between the three oldest children.
Me: What kind of competition?
Fairy: Well it used to be to the death but that was too violent so these days each kingdom comes up with their own. In mine I think they play marbles but I’ve never seen one.
Me: Okay so why shouldn’t I say thank you or give gifts in return for favors?
Fairy: That’s mostly a regional thing but where I’m from it’s insulting to the wealth of the person giving you stuff. Like you really only thank people when what they did was like a huge burden so if you thank someone for giving you something that’s like calling them poor.
Me: Fairies have wealth inequality?
Fairy: I mean we technically still live under a feudal system if I’m being honest but with modern technology and ethics nobody notices.
Me: Do you have Internet down there?
Fairy: Only dial-up. That’s why I come to your house.
Fairy: So you’re telling me that human men don’t think that frog eyes are sexy?
Me: Well not most of them to my knowledge.
Fairy: So I bought these contacts for nothing.
Me: Hey man you don’t have to be a frog spirit to lure men into your clutches. Plenty of dudes are into cat eyes and ghoulish moaning.
Fairy: You really think so?
Me: I know so! Stop doubting yourself so much. You can definitely find some mortal men to lure into the timeless void for several centuries and adopt a demon cat with you.
Fairy: Thanks, man. That means a lot.
Fairy: So humans... don’t eat glass?
Me: No? It’ll cut up our insides and kill us.
Fairy: Ooohhhh. Oh no.
Me: What did you do now?
Fairy: More like... what I’ve done over the past three centuries since I moved out of my mom’s house.
Me: Did the coughing up of blood not cue you into anything?!?!!
Fairy: I thought that humans just spontaneously die sometimes!
Me: No we don’t! There’s physical reasons for these things!
Fairy: So... no more bringing nightshade and glass entrees to the potluck?
Me: No!
Me: So why mushrooms as portals?
Fairies: Look man, even we don’t mess with mushrooms alright? Sometimes they open up a portal to the human world and it’s just best to not question it.
Me: So wait. You don’t make the fairy circles?
Fairy: No. Mushrooms decide.
Do you guys remember when everything was awesome
Everything will be awesome again one day.
My favorite part of BotW, GIF dump 1/3
Angel manta ray (what if fish was bird??)
Wow the whole gang is here!
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Starting twin peaks
It's scaring my cat
arctic/antarctic
i cant believe that there's still gamergate STANK on games that women enjoy. NASTY misogyny residue. stardew valley is in fact a video game. animal crossing is also a video game. so are otome games and dating sims and twee little cozy games. sometimes a bitch doesnt wanna play bloodborne that shit's hard
guys who mainly play 2k and fortnite will still be like oh youre not a real gamer for having 1000 hours in stardew. mother fucker you're larping as a basketball player
I Don’t Know What That Word Means, But I Know Enough About The Internet That I Know I Don’t Want To Google It. An Adventure In Letting Go And Moving On With Your Life.
I Have A Morbid Curiosity And No Sense Of Self Preservation So I’m Going To Google It Anyway: An Adventure In Gambling Your Eyes Away
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Chekhov's Fun :^)
"if there is silly on the wall in the first act, then it must be funny in the second act :)"
