I'll Be Whatever You Like

I have the ability to speak to shrimps (Shrimpathy). unfortunately this does not allow them to respond or understand what im saying

This morning at brunch the server came out and he was like "unfortunately we don't have ice right now because a server just broke a glass in it" and we were all like "no that's fine I think an element of danger at brunch is sexy and fun" and he was like no absolutely I get that but I still can't let you eat glass at my job

look i like peraltiago as much as the next person but every time amy and rosa interact i want them to make out

“you have nice hands” means finger me like that’s it

hold my hand while i eat u out its romantic

Tumblr post Dec. 17th

first it was no horny on main by etiquette and now it’s no horny anywhere by law

the day is december 18, 2018. i type a post and use ‘👀’ in the text body. the emoji too closely resembles nipples (female presenting) and i am immediately executed

Before tumblr dies… anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me

Having a “crush” is a level 3 horny offence and against Tumblr ToS, delete your fucking blog

Live horny die horny motherfuckers