Dear outandloud my brother or sister (sorry I can’t tell from your user name, please forgive me). I’m in my 50’s, multiple lifelong disabilities, I have English, Irish, Scottish, Welsh, Canadian, Swiss (German Jew) & Norman blood. My great uncle Leslie ran away aged 16 and joined the British Army to fight fascism. Gunner Leslie Randles was K.I.A. Aged 19 in 1944 and rests in peace in the Jerusalem War Cemetery in Chouain Normandy France. I went to 2x churches every Sunday & 2x Sunday schools, & oh boy did I notice a difference but that’s another story. I wanted to be a priest when I was a boy but Mum said I didn’t have time to go to Catholic Mass as well as 2x churches. I’ve read the Torah, Tenach, multiple Christian bibles and the Qur’an. As a little boy we moved house and I was very lucky to live next door to an amazing old Polish Jewish woman who actually escaped from the camps during WW2 by being smuggled out in a suitcase, she taught me a lot about Judaism as she could tell I am a God focussed peaceful boy & now old man. I also had another neighbour on the same block a few houses down who joined up straightaway in WW2, his glider was shot down over Dunkirk and he awoke in a German prison hospital then spent the entire war working (& sabotaging) Mines for the Reich. He taught me a lot about fascism and socialism. I left the Christian churches when I joined the merchant navy aged 16 & sailed through a 100x year storm, I thought I’d be frightened but I was in awe of God’s power & perfection. I did get knocked out while sleeping during the height of the storm so I sort of slept through a few hours of it. But most importantly out of the 11x men on board, 2x of my crew mates were Muslim. My best friend from school was Hindu and I’d just left bible school to go to sea and had never met a Muslim before I asked them to tell me about Islam. I was shocked when they started talking about prophets that I knew very well, I was even more shocked when they told me that they call Jesus Issa and that Mary mother of Jesus has an entire chapter in the Qur’an.
My friend we are not enemies, I am certain that we both want world peace. I am certain that we both never want to see another holocaust. I am certain that we both never want to see another genocide. I am certain that we both love the one God above and I am certain that when we are both sad or when we both rejoice that we both know how he longs to hear our voice. I am certain that if we ever bumped into each other IRL we would agree on many, many other things.
How strange that you mentioned frogs and blood in one of your reblogs. I saw a common (English) frog in trouble (due to the heat) yesterday in a friend’s garden, I quoted the opening chapter of the Qur’an so the frog would know I was no harm, then I said hello frog, don’t worry, you are a creature of Hashem God Allah & I will help you. Then I helped the frog & left it in peace with shalom salaam peace, it started to croak and then left the garden in peace. Also I did scratch my arm and drew blood whilst cycling back later. However, it is upsetting that you wish such evil on me when I would give up my life to save yours if need be.
All I’ve ever wanted in my life is world peace. I always end my poetry readings with a poem that I wrote many, many years ago… I won’t bore you with it, but it ends with these words: “If there’s no peace in my lifetime keep pushing for it. God bless you, cheers.”
Please forgive me & accept my sincere apologies for whatever it was from my original post that upset you. And I’m curious, how did you watch the vid and comment so quick? I rarely ever reply to any of my posts on here as I joined when it first started as another artist invited me to a safe place. And it is a safe place, hardly anyone ever reads, likes, reblogs or comments on anything I ever post, which is perfect for me. You see the dude who invited me here years ago said that this is a scrapbook, a place where I can post things and use it as a digital scrapbook. For someone with some of the disabilities that I have this sounded perfect. My memories a bit random so it can be very helpful for me to see things good, bad or ugly and keep note of it all, to never forget that I am a pacifist.
My scrapbook’s name translates I English to “Life & Truth”. I named it after a year long poetry project that I worked on after being (finally) diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy and given 3 to 10 years to live. Not the first time doctors have said I’m not going to live long and not the first time that I’ve been disappointed that they were wrong. But then I died in surgery just before my 3rd birthday & I remember things, so every time a doctor tells me bad news & then says you’re taking this news very well I simply tell them that I haven’t wanted to live since I was a child, the pains, the panics, the nightmares, the meds, however it appears that God wants me here for some reason and I belong to Him so I trust in Him, for He tells us that he will never burden anyone with anything that they cannot handle. But my struggles are fuck all, mere 1st World problems (as Ian Brown righteously says in his song). I couldn’t cope with everything going on in the world the other year so I quit all my meds and told my doctors that I cannot die until Hashem God Allah wills it.
I am a shepherd not a sheep. Sometimes, off my meds, I become the Berserker Wolf that my Norman DNA gives me. I hate violence, I don’t like fighting, however all four of my brothers told me at our Dad’s funeral years ago that they never picked on me or bullied me because I never understood that I was being picked on. Same at school, I was bullied by P.E. Teachers coz I was taller than them and they didn’t believe that I couldn’t play rugby anymore because of my disabilities, I didn’t know I was being bullied until one teacher decided to throw basket balls at me and when that didn’t work he tried to hang me by my tie on one of them gym beams I front of the entire class. That did upset me, but I still blamed myself. I am not that little boy anymore, I looked that man in the face decades later at a friends anniversary memorial service at the rugby club with mum next to me chuckling away, he couldn’t look me in the eyes but I could tell he remembered me and my brothers.
Anyway, I can’t even remember why I’m reblogin’ this, but it’s nice to type and it’s 4am over here now, maybe I’ll get some sleep this night, not that I deserve to get any sleep whilst God’s children are being murdered all over His planet.
Peace, love and goodness to all. But never forget the words of the manic street preachers: “… I’m a pacifist, but if I can shoot rabbits then I can shoot fascists”.
Na-night everyone and also never forget that there is only one God above and He is the love and the light. Hashem God Allah doesn’t make mistakes, He knows everything, He knows what is in our hearts, He knows I love all His creations great and small, even though many frighten me, but I just say you’re frightening me, don’t make me go Berserk coz I can’t stop myself due to the way too much adrenaline my body creates, & as I mentioned somewhere in my scrapbook here I quit all my meds and I’m so happy that I did because it is good to be able to cry when you see the world turn into hell for some. And it is extremely handy to be able to go full berserker if attacked.
dededos
ellievsbear
andulkaphoto
discoholicmusic
theartofmadeline
yousharknotpass
