Happily lurking

an ao3 author is never late, nor are they early; they post precisely when they mean to

someone should do a tv show called Oops! All Filler that's only 8 episodes per season but you have no idea what the actual plot is because it's just all the one off eps you'd normally get in a 22 episode season. the gang going to the beach. the gang getting timewarped back to prom. the gang dealing with a fairytale situation on the starship. everyone in town losing their memory of the fact that the town has slashers. whatever. rampant fan speculation is mostly centered around what the gang gets up to when they're doing their actual jobs because No One Can Fucking Tell

Stuck in a lift; marooned on a planet (optional wound-binding in caves); musical; bodyswap; four of them are kids now; alien sarcophagus spaceship arrives and tries to brainwash them into performing ceremonial functions; vampire sand traps two of them in a silo so that they’ll make babies/food supply; bureaucratic shenanigans; all puppets except for…; why have we taken our clothes off; murder mystery; let’s make jam!; through the eyes of visiting journalists from ideologically opposed civilisation; dragons; this week it’s telenovela style; everyone is getting turned into trees; teambuilding exercise; therapy for the most obnoxious; attack of the space bees; trolley problem for lols; episode ends with stunning reveal this is a studio set.

Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.

Funnily enough, I’m not 100% joking. While many animals have paw pads, the particular kind of soft, squishy beans found on housecats are an adaptation for stealth. Squishy beans mean you’re looking at an ambush predator.

These are the beans of a killer, Bella.

it’s sooo important that we remember how much of a dork caleb widogast is. ignore his cha stat he just uses that to threaten people im talking abt the man himself. dude finds a bag of jewels and does a little dance. he gets good news and says ‘that’s a bingo’ out loud in front of other ppl. how many times did someone be vaguely nice to him and he responded by turning “beet red”. his go to response to someone in distress is to hand them his cat, and even then he sits a little bit away and watches to make sure they’re being gentle w him. man is living proof that you can take a wizard and torture him until he becomes a brainwashed murder machine but you can’t make him not a fucking dweeb <3

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy.

In this essay, I won't.

Merrin was really like “are we about to die? Probably. Will standing on this cliff for any longer than necessary increase the likeliness of imminent death? Most likely. Will a few precious extra seconds put towards our plan greatly increase our likelihood of taking out this giant Imperial drill and surviving? Most definitely. But will I let that stop me from kissing this man? Absolutely not.”

Duuude don't question my version of events I'm such a reliable narrator. I'm literally the protagonist and the main character. You can literally read some of my internal thoughts, that clearly means you have complete access to an objective view of my thoughts and feelings and a correct impression of my characterization and the events unfolding around me. I'm not omitting any information from the audience. Nevermind that timeskip just now