Actually A Blog.

I just had a life-changing realisation.

Today, I meditated for 2hrs straight.

Before I sat down, I thought it might be a good idea.

When I was done, I was done. I didn’t think anything anymore.

It was, without a doubt, an interesting experience but an uncomfortable one. Now that I’m able to think again, I just start to regret EVERYTHING. The fact, that I was 100% aware of the fact that my legs get numb after just 15 minutes makes it only more frustrating.

I wanna share my experience now...

Soooo, I sat down in excitement. But when I realised that I’m gonna sit there for the next 2 hours meditating, without any time killing tools, I was like: o shit I didn’t expect time to be so sloooooowwwwww . . .

I couldn’t check how long I've already been sitting there and, in the end, I realised that, when I first wanted to check, I had probably only made around a fifth of the whole thing. Only good I didn’t check.

Anyway, while I “meditated”, my mind went from ‘breathing in. Breathing out. Ooooo this is good.” to “oh shit I think my legs are going to die and have to be amputated. How much longer is this going to last???”

I wasn’t enlightened btw. So all this was just for nothing.

I happened to experience a rare irregularity in our universe.

Also, I burned my middle finger. But that’s not what I wanted to tell ya.

I just posted something! XD

Besides, u said I should ignore ur presence. <3

Finally, I got my supplemental ID!

It’s like an usual ID but with all stuff on it that you want to be on it. Like your name and pronouns and gender.

This is one of the best things I own, I think. Before, when I wanted to buy myself a train ticket, I had to purchase it on my ‘wrong’ name. Also, my school certificate would by with my old name written on it. And the worst is, going to your doctor or dentist and being forced to say the old name ‘cause they got your health ensurance card and your appointment ist linked that ONE DAMN NAME. And all these awkward moments when you in somewhere and were, worst case, a tiny bit suspicious, but then you have to pull out your ID and everyone’s like: O. M. G. What is standing in front of us rn?! It would always be one of these “it’s actually a girl” scenarios. BWLUAH!

But now I’m free of all these problems. *sighs*

If you have a supplemental ID you can easy change your health ensurance card, your school certificate and your train ticket and you can just show it to the authorities, for example when you want to cross a border, and they have to accept it, (in some cases you’d have to show your actual, 100% official ID too).

I already started to feel like a ciminal sometimes ‘cause my ID just didn’t match my identity.

Yay!

Here’s a link to the website ”Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität e.V.“ (German Society for Transidentity and Intersexuality registered association) : https://www.dgti.org/

With all due respect, with all the DBH-ships sailing, is nobody talkin' bout the fact that, if Connor had a kid, it would just never come to the point when the kid realised that you don’t just lick everything you find on the floor. Y stop if u did it your whole life and ur dad does it too, right? Honestly, that’s bad. That’s so bad. Please Connor don’t.

I feel so sorry for that kid.

I am soooo thankful for having a binder.

Still, I sometimes struggle with the thought of wearing two binders 'cause I really wanna make sure that there’s noooooooooo phcking boobs at all.

However, one day it has come to me, wearing two binders over one another and being surprised that it actually worked.

During my gardening internship, I often get to drive a little ”Kipper“ which is basically a tiny truck and I don’t know how to explain it so here’s a picture:

Well, how do I put this... The streets aren’t always as flat as we’d like them to be.

And, as I sit there in this Truck, not thinking any bad, my boobs that btw don’t even have my permission to exist, go all wobbly bobbly aaaaand...yeah. I hate it.

On my internship, I was supervised by a gardener. She had work for me and it turned out that I had to carry some 70-Liter bags of potting soil.

She told me that I could measure my muscles and see how much they’d grow in the time of my internship.

YeEEaaAahHhHh SUuReeeee

I‘m not exactly weak but also do I not have even a bit more testosterone than the average cis-girl. Soooo I knew that my muscles wouldn’t grow that much. The gardener told me EVERY SINGLE F*CKING DAY to do it and she was so convinced of her great idea.

I got to blow with the electric leaf blower today. I wanted to write this down and, in order not to make it sound wrong for a teenager, I searched for synonyms for „blow“. I found „puff“ but I think that doesn’t fit well here. But when I got a look on the synonyms listed, I almost burst in laughter: the example was ( seriously) „to do a blowjob“. That was exactly what I wanted to prevent.🤦‍♂️👏

They didn’t know whether to call it oral or anal. I always manage to get disturbed by myself and why is this so accurate?!

Is anyone else feeling like it’s way too warm for February? I’m not talking to any Australians here...

Have I spent too much time with Assassin’s Creed when I, every time I go to sleep, hear that voice saying: ”Fast forward in memories to a more recent one.“?