i don’t wanna go home am i losing control?
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@softvioletcloudsx
i don’t wanna go home am i losing control?

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she got me wasted 🎶 (x)
Water Louis!
louis tomlinson - lemonade 🌊🌅
erica jong

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@my anxiety: like… thanks for worrying about me but like……… maybe d..on’t.
u know what i miss. when people used to talk about their favorite dinosaur. today mine is the tiny terror compsognathus longipes. their name means dainty jaw. they were, like, chicken-sized. when i was 7 i really wanted one as a pet and cried about it. i assumed we could put a bipedal carnivorous bird-lizard on a leash. imagine walking her around the park. i would name mine agatha.
can someone invent a type of letting go that actually feels good instead of feeling like your soul is getting ripped out via large intestine
i hate to say it because i'm neurodivergent and a chronic-pain-haver but like... sometimes stuff is going to be hard and that's okay.
it's okay if you don't understand something the first few times it's explained to you. it's okay if you have to google every word in a sentence. it's okay if you need to spend a few hours learning the context behind a complicated situation. it's okay if you need to read something, think about it, and then come back to re-read it.
i get it. giving up is easier, and we are all broken down and also broke as hell. nobody has the time, nobody has the fucking energy. that is how they win, though. that is why you feel this way. it is so much easier, and that is why you must resist the impetus to shut down. fight through the desire you've been taught to "tl;dr".
embrace when a book is confusing for you. accept not all media will be transparent and glittery and in the genre you love. question why you need everything to be lily-white and soft. i get it. i also sometimes choose the escapism, the fantasy-romance. there's no shame in that. but every day i still try to make myself think about something, to actually process and challenge myself. it is hard, often, because of my neurodivergence. but i fight that urge, because i think it's fucking important.
especially right now. the more they convince you not to think, the easier it will be to feed you misinformation. the more we accept a message without criticism, the more power they will have over that message. the more you choose convenience, the more they will make propaganda convenient to you.
How the absence of someone else feels like the absence of myself

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inscription that i am obsessed with
alexis doyle
L. A. Johnson, from "Birthmark"
Jean Luc Godard, Une femme Mariée (A Married Woman)
Maya C. Popa, from “Spring”, Wound Is the Origin of Wonder
Mary Oliver, “Don’t Hesitate”, Devotions

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
Mary Oliver, from “Of Love”, Red Bird
E.E. Cummings, Complete Poems, 1904-1962
Fullmoon hiding behind clouds. May 2022.