xstarry witchx

im an outfit repeater, movie rewatcher, and music addict, i feel unstoppable

let's give it up for emotionally constipated women. let's give it up for women who can't think about being vulnerable without throwing up in their mouth a little. let's give it up for women who don't have the words to say what they feel even if they wanted to

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

oh my god god god god god my dad just tried to complain about me wearing earrings with ghosts on them because they're "not very festive" so i said Well Actually ghosts are very appropriate for christmastime and he said tell you what if you can show me a single christmas themed thing that has ghosts in it i won't say another word about your fashion choices this entire holiday. i Promise. so i got him to lean in realllllll close as i opened up the browser app on my phone and slowly began to type "A CHRISTMAS CAROL" while the blood rapidly drained from his face.

i love my switch its like an animal to me. shhhh sweet pink and green creature download my software

basically my opinion on many many things is “you should be allowed to do that and i should be allowed to be uncomfortable with it and the government and law should not be involved in this whatsoever”

i CANNOT express how much more lovable my friends are to me at their most annoying. i'd rather hear the same story 3 times than not at all. i'd rather read a 22 message text rant about something totally inconsequential than not hear from you all day. i'd rather you tag me in the stupidest post i've ever seen than not know that it made you think of a conversation we had a month ago. BE ANNOYING AT ME. I LOVE YOU

it's kinda funny how quickly some of yall pull out "you still live with your parents/are unemployed/etc" as an insult while calling yourselves communists or anarchists tbh

"I'm an anarchocommunist but if you can't afford your own house by age 18 you're a loser" okay

(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb

Meant to go to bed hours ago, ended up reading the wikipedia page for neglected tropical diseases

Nobody deserves better than anybody else. We have to live by this.

I wasn’t feeling well at work once and the boss told me to go get something to eat. I did feel better and a little while later when he saw me and asked if I was feeling better I thought that the food in my gut had helped I meant to say food in my belly but told him “I feel a lot better with something in my butt”. Not sure we ever spoke again.

I work at a mall called the orchard in a store that begins with a T, and I was answering the phone and blended the two words together and said "hi this is torture"

While working retail, a guy started his interaction with "so, you're never going to believe this..." and i read that as "customer request: incredulity. Do not believe following statement" he keeps taking, asks if i know Xena Warior Princess, i say yes, he says "she's my aunt" and i say "no she's not." Threw both of us so hard that we just carried on through the transaction like none of that happened.

Sorry of her i mean her

sweet, might base an agricultural civilisation on this river, hope it behaves itself

might just fuck around and find out

Diversity win! This river has ADHD

I took two semesters of Chinese history in college. The first thing the professor started with was “getting to know the rivers, Yangtze and the Yellow Rivers. You need to know them because they will play very important roles in the history of China. The Yangtze has been crucial to trade, movement, culture and more. The Yellow river, the Yellow River can’t be trusted as you will repeatedly see.”

If you got stuck on a question during a test or whatever you could start with “the Yellow river jumped the banks causing instability and chaos that quickly spread” and would be correct more times than you would be incorrect.

Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town