There is No Reason Behind Insanity

I’ve had this dilemma for a long time and I’m sick of it, I may not make much sense and I’m sorry but this has me so upset and emotional so please forgive me if I’m not coherent at times thought this 🧡

I’ve been into kpop for a long long time, since around 2009/10 and i love it, i really do, some bands have literally saved my life several times, and it’s (usually) a great community. I’ve met some of my best friends due to kpop

But kpop as a performance based music genre really messes up my body image and confidence. it’s a love-hate relationship, i’ll see a mv and appreciate the aesthetics, choreography, song, etc. And then i see the idols themselves and obsessively think about stuff like how they’re so small and lean/muscular, and how defined their faces are and compare it to me and I’m not thin at all, it’s especially bad when I hear idols call themseleves or other members chubby or tell them they’ve gained weight and get so upset over it when they’re literally underweight, it just makes me think of how they’d view me, they’d think I’m disgusting and it makes me wanna cry sometimes

And realistically I know that’s not a bad thing, my bone structure is very broad, I don’t have a bad diet, And I’m taller than almost all female kpop idols and a good chunk of the male idols too. European women are obviously taller than Asian women that’s just a biological fact. But when I’m faced with blatant shaming for being plus sized 24/7, I can’t look clearly at anything.

It's definitely hard because besides the amount of money I'd have to spend to get into a fansign event, I'm too terrified to face my faves bc ik they'll think I'm ugly even tho they preach "looks don't matter" all the time. Like I'll appreciate them from afar, but I can't handle them faking nice and then thinking or talking about how "big" I am or how unattractive my face is. This is honestly one of the reasons I tend to stay away from girl groups because I know how negatively they would affect me as a woman.

One of the hardest things to do is not comparing yourself to others and this includes kpop idols. I occasionally have to take breaks, too, or I start falling into a pit of despair and trigger like a month-long deep depressive episode. There's no shame in simply listening to their music instead of constantly streaming music videos or watching their content, especially if it's negatively impacting your life.

“A lot of native speakers are happy that English has become the world’s global language. They feel they don’t have to spend time learning another language,” says Chong.

“But… often you have a boardroom full of people from different countries communicating in English and all understanding each other and then suddenly the American or Brit walks into the room and nobody can understand them.”

The non-native speakers, it turns out, speak more purposefully and carefully, typical of someone speaking a second or third language. Anglophones, on the other hand, often talk too fast for others to follow, and use jokes, slang and references specific to their own culture, says Chong. In emails, they use baffling abbreviations such as ‘OOO’, instead of simply saying that they will be out of the office.

Catholics Debating receiving on tongue vs by hand

Look, I know a good number of you are from the US and things aren't amazing there either, but my country is literally on the brink of collapse. So I'd love it if we could talk about that for a minute.

If you can't do anything else, please just read and reblog.

Great Granny named me “Jonathan” after the boy she never had. Clothed me. Fed me. Raised me. And when she deemed it appropriate…punished me.

sam wilson + perceptiveness

Loves to garden. He has a nicely sized plot at his farmhouse hideout, and while he doesn’t do any actual farming. he does keep track of tomato plants and whatever herbs are in season

Detests the Vacuum. Actually sweeps and doesn’t have any carpeted areas in his home, so thankfully there’s no need for it.

Loves doing the dishes. He finds the sensation of the warm water calming. Will happy do the dishes if someone else cooks for him.

Not the most wealthy, but he does use his limited money wisely. He always donates a small percentage to those in need–as he was once on the streets and understands how a little bit can go a long way.

Wants children someday, but would prefer to adopt overseas or adopt a child about to grow out of the system.

Mostly single by choice, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t looking. It just takes time for him to find the right person, someone he knows he can trust.

Really likes children, he admires their wonder and curiosity. Activity tries to avoid harming them, unless it’s the water supply he’s targeting, of course.

Loves visiting the library and MIGHT have a crush on the middle aged librarian. Tries to flirt with them, but usually fails miserably.  Still, the librarian finds him charming.

Loves all birds, but especially corvids. Regularly feeds them and always treats them with respect. As such his farmhouse hideout is frequently visited by the birds.

Speaking of birds, he has a deal with Damian Wayne that states nether of them shall attack if they see each other feeding a bird.

Drinks his coffee black, but will occasionally spurge on a pumpkin spice latte. Never goes to Starbucks though, only a local cafes.

During the fall he has been known to steal jack o lanterns off porches.

Once egged Wayne Tower from a biplane

Loves thrift stores and flea markets. Will buy random crap he doesn’t need.  Once bought one of those infamous stripper leg lamps because it was a dollar. (he gave it to Harley for her birthday)