The Nephilim💕

In a world full of carries, be a Natasha.

This is my ideal version of womanhood. Simplicity, Selectivity and Sophistication.

✨ I’m literally manifesting… ✨

Hinge is the best dating app; avoid Tinder, Bumble, Seeking, and any of the sugar sites. Spend minimal time looking for a date online (way too much Splenda). I’ve met a lot of great men on Hinge but I think that the algorithm is fucked and too many men delete the app due to privacy concerns. It’s easier to meet men IRL.

Look up conferences and make an effort to either be in the area or actually go to them if they’re in your field of interest. I met some of my best at medical conferences and CME events; Google conventions and get going. I went to a conference of orthopedic surgeons last year, met so many people and got so many numbers, and got my summer job here in New York by going to another conference. You will 100% meet people but it’s up to you to deepen the connection and make friends.

Dress the part but don’t overdo it. I found that I had less interest when I was wearing Chanel or super leveled up outfits and much more interest when I was dressed in the aesthetic that I created and suits me. I can go more into this topic and talk about what worked for me as a dark skinned woman/what I think works best. Having an aesthetic will help you meet people.

Know how to do your makeup and hair so that you can do touch ups on the go. Also, it’s in your best interests to get your nails done simply. If you look fresh and good, you’ll get more interest from women who want to befriend you and men who want to know you. You can’t meet people if you don’t look good and you don’t want to put yourself in a position where you look like a joke. Black women have to be the best to succeed at times but being the best doesn’t always mean looking like you have money, sometimes you need to be casual.

If you want a man to be willing to invest in you, you have to be willing to invest in yourself. This is even more important if you have no plans to do the whole online thing and only plan to freestyle and meet people in person. Your appearance has to be top tier if you want a man to pour thousands into leveling you up and you want to live the true spoiled girlfriend soft wife life.

Don’t discount freestyling or meeting men at a casual job. I’m in the process of becoming a yoga instructor and I’ve met so many wealthy men who want to enjoy my company and my classes. If you have an office job, don’t do it but if you’re working at a cafe or at a yoga/Pilates studio then I’d recommend meeting people.

If you’re in a major city, the young and wealthy tech guys, finance bros, and entrepreneurs are going to be at places like SoHo House. If you’re looking for new money rich, no older than 35-40, and single then this is the sort of place you’ll want to go to. Meghan met Harry at SoHo, Snapchat used to go to SoHo before he met Miranda Kerr on a yacht, and Alexis Ohanion was a member before he met Serena Williams. Go where it’s been proven the men are and you will meet someone.

Introduce yourself. I met my whale at a restaurant. He was sitting at a bar and paid for our whole meal, I went up and introduced myself, and the rest is history. Some of the most well known spoiled women have met their marks by making a move and introducing themselves. Even if he’s with friends (mine was), just go up and don’t be shy. It’s forward but the forward woman wins.

Start by dating HENRYs.

A Henry is a man who’s High Earning but Not Rich Yet and he’ll usually be no more than 5 years older than you. Henrys usually work in finance or tech, and they’re also going to actively be looking for relationships. When I was in Chicago, actively going on Hinge dates after work and interested in getting to know more people, I went out on a series of dates with Henrys. They worked as associates for the major legal, financial, and consulting firms (they hadn’t made partner yet); they tended to be recent graduates with minimal student loans, and it was easy for me to connect with them offline through the activities I did. 

Getting your life together, and I mean really getting it together, should be a priority of yours. You can’t miss out on your life by staying in a pattern of losing it all, pulling it together as quickly and as carelessly as you can, and then losing it all again because you weren’t ready enough or devoted the first time. I made a choice to pull my life together when I was 18, and I’ve stayed improving myself ever since; I bettered my mental health, fixed my body, changed my mindset, found an aesthetic and style that worked for me and that I loved, and have done my part to keep steadily improving my life and my mindset. If you are devoted to yourself and your life, you will do well and find that the path towards your future will become much clearer as time goes on.

Exercising.

You need to be exercising, bettering your body, and taking the time to nourish yourself and your health. This means eating whole meals and taking the time to cook and prepare them, considering removing heavily processed foods and alcohol from your day-to-day diet, and taking the time to do at home or in gym workouts. I do Move with Nicole videos in the morning, finish up with a quick yoga session, go to the gym in the evenings, and make sure that my body is being fueled by real foods and being properly hydrated throughout the day. You will live in the same body for the rest of your life; you need to make sure that you’re caring for it and nourishing it in ways that will let it support you for the rest of your life. You won’t regret a health journey, and you should actively be on one. 

Socializing.

Isolation will kill you, and if you already have anxiety, it will worsen it. You should be meeting people, getting to know them, leaving your comfort zone, and trying new things. Your late teens and early twenties are all about taking the time to know people, making and losing friends, and figuring out the sorts of people you want to have in your life forever. You have to socialize, go to social events, join clubs and different activities, and get out of the house. I’m a person who believes in spending time around and loving other people, and that has saved my life. If you aren’t sure how to socialize, don’t have friends, or aren’t sure of what you like, now’s the time to learn how. You don’t become good at meeting people in one day; it takes time and failure, but the more you do to leave your comfort zone, the easier it will become as time moves along.

Studying.

I believe that life is meant for learning. It’s important to always be learning, to always be bettering yourself, and to always be keeping your mind busy. While I strongly believe that every woman should have a university education and a degree, I understand that it’s not always feasible. If it’s not possible for you to get a degree, you have to learn a trade, a skill, a language, or find something to occupy your mind so that it’s not idle. It’s important to always be doing something, and it’s important that you’re pursuing a passion; life isn’t much if you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, so you have to find them and do more with them. Education can come from work experience; it can come from pursuing projects, cultivating wisdom, and spending your time nourishing your mind and reading books. Life is a learning experience, and you should be in constant pursuit of educational excellence. 

Seeing More.

Life is about seeing more and seeing things you’ve never experienced. If you’ve always wanted to watch a tennis match, step into the ocean, or see the sights in a new city, now’s the time to start making plans to do those things. We all deserve to see and experience beautiful things, so it’s important that we find the time to do so. If I hadn’t made the time to find beauty in the mundane, I wouldn’t have made it far. You don’t have to spend money pursuing beauty; I find the most beauty I’ve seen in my life is found on short walks and time spent around my city. You should spend your time both looking for beauty and becoming beautiful too.

Doing More.

Doing more is next. I’ve spent my life trying new things, failing, succeeding, having a good time, and learning about what I enjoy. You should be doing more; your twenties are for moving away, visiting new cities, trying new foods, working jobs you hate and finding jobs you love, going to new restaurants and getting into new relationships, and doing more with yourself. All of the greatest women I’ve ever known have told me that they spent next to no time resting in their twenties because they had so much life to live. I’d encourage you to do things without holding yourself back, and if you don’t know what to do with yourself, find things to do. You can't waste your youth being idle; now is the time to get out of your room, see the world and what it has to offer, and do more with yourself and your gifts.