I am the Best. So are you.

My name is Elle and I'm a 25-year-old Black girl from New England who's obsessed with proving that there is nothing that we, as women, cannot achieve.

Dating/Femininity:

Flirting tips

Men 101

The Seduction Process

How I approach men

Book recs

On Charisma

Tips for a Roster

Lesser known seduction tips

More book recommendations

Questions to ask on a date

Dating tips from my sister

How to Create a Dating Profile to Attract High-quality Men

Love and Intimacy from a man's perspective

'I am the Best' Series Archive:

Impressionism

Surrealism

Realism

Abstract Art

Investing Pt. 1

Investing Pt. 2

Key Financial Resources

Finance/Education:

Cryptocurrency resources

Magazines/Newsletters

LinkedIn Networking

10 Lessons from My Last Internship

Conference Lessons 1

Conference Lessons 2

Lessons from Boarding School

More Boarding School Lessons

Sponsorship vs. Mentorship

Wall Street Advice

My favorite books on history

Miscellaneous:

The Power of the Alter Ego

Do's and Don'ts in High Society

How to Succeed as a Black Woman in Society

How to Exoticize Yourself in High Society

Red and Green Flags when Dating Wealthy Men

Quick Summer Glow-up Routine

Elle's Essentials

Quick Summer Glow Up Routine

Essential History Topics

Introduction to Black High Society

Lessons from my Hypergamous Mother

Guide to Oxford

Favorite Success Tips

Networking 101

How I am improving my life in 2023

Tips on navigating private clubs

Do you pass your replicas off as if they’re real? What’s your approach to buying replicas? If I’m overthinking it, please lmk. Maybe I’m too invested in other people’s view of me lol

Hey Anon!

You’re overthinking it. No one is inspecting your items that closely in real life. If you look put together and like you could reasonably afford what you’re wearing, people don’t question it.

I’ve worn reps in very “real money” environments and it’s honestly a non-issue. A few weeks ago I went to a literal billionaire’s house in the Hamptons and showed up carrying a $40 Miu Miu rep I bought on Canal the day before. No one blinked. That tells you everything you need to know.

The difference isn’t the item, it’s how you carry it. If you’re acting weird or overly explanatory, that’s when people clock something. If you’re normal about it, everyone else will be too.

My rep philosophy is simple: I treat it like any other piece I own. If someone compliments it, I say thank you and move on. I’m not volunteering a backstory. And on the rare occasion someone presses (which is already odd behavior), I have no problem saying it’s a rep. Also, detach a bit from needing other people to validate what you’re wearing. Most people are way more focused on themselves than you think.

I think baseline should be elevated basics. Think fitted tanks, soft long sleeves, good quality tees, and a pair of sweats or leggings that actually fit your body well. The difference is in the fit and fabric. Slouchy can look chic but only if it’s intentional. Oversized hoodie with tiny shorts or a fitted tank with wide-leg sweats always looks better than just baggy everything.

Matching sets are your best friend in a dorm. They take zero thought but read as put together. A simple cotton or knit set with clean sneakers and a nice hairstyle will carry you through most days.

Layering also does a lot of heavy lifting. Throwing on a cute puffer or leather jacker, a cardigan, or even a crisp button down over something basic instantly makes it look like you tried. Same outfit, completely different vibes.

Shoes also matter more than people think. Even if you’re in sweats, a clean pair of sneakers or ballet flat change the whole look. Avoid the running shoe + random outfit combo unless you’re actually working out.

And then small details: gold hoops or (my favorite) pearls, a watch, a claw clip, a tote instead of a backpack. Those little things make you look finished without any real effort. Overall rule is simple: be comfortable, but be deliberate.

You need to be a little bit of a bitch.

I’m actually serious. There’s a reason “Why Men Love Bitches” is still a thing (throwback to when my Discord group read it together agh). It’s popular because there’s truth in it.

What’s probably happening is this: in the beginning, these men are drawn to you. The excitement, the attention, the chase. But over time, you start giving more and more of yourself, and the dynamic shifts. You start prioritizing their comfort, their happiness, their needs over your own… and that’s where things fall apart.

It’s not that men don’t want effort. It’s that they don’t want to feel like they’ve already secured you completely. Men love the chase. They’re wired to value what feels a little out of reach. And if they do “get” you, that desire only sticks if there’s still some sense that you could walk away at any moment and be just fine.

So when I say “be a bitch,” I don’t mean be mean or cold. I mean be self-focused.

Be the woman who:

Prioritizes herself without apology

Only does things for him that she actually wants to do and when her efforts are reciprocated

Has a full life that doesn’t revolve around him

Says exactly what she wants and when and how she wants it

Can walk away at any moment without hesitation

Doesn’t overextend to keep him happy

A lot of women lose themselves in relationships without realizing it. They start over-giving. Over-showing up. Over-accommodating. And ironically, that’s what makes things feel stale. If you’ve been doing any of these things, pull back and pour that energy back into your own life. Your routines, your goals, your friendships, your interests. The shift is immediate when you do this—I’ve experienced it first hand.

Happy 4th!

I had a really good day :). I was at a friend’s place in a quieter part of Newport, which made the day a lot more relaxed than the usual beach scene. We started the morning with a long walk along the golf course, mimosas in hand, then put on bikinis and got ready to have people over.

A bunch of friends came by, including Tanner. The day comprised mostly of margaritas, beer pong, and watching the soccer game. We stopped by the beach on our way back to LA.

In the evening we went to the Chris Stapleton Fourth of July concert, which was so so fun. More drinks, fireworks, very American and I got to wear my cowboy boots again.

Hi Lovely,

On the apps, my job title is pretty clear so they know what they’re dealing with. If a guy is intimidated by successful women, then seeing where I am career-wise will be a deterrent.

On actual dates, I choose not to go too deep on my career until later on in the connection. Why? Because my credentials are some of the least interesting things about me. Yes, I’m proud of my hard work, but I’ve never made work the focal point of any relationship. My job pays the bills and that’s pretty much it. Yes, I have some interesting stories to tell about it (and I do tell them!) but I also make it clear that my job is not my life nor my identity. I’d rather a guy walk away from those first dates knowing about my passion for volunteering, what makes me laugh, the hills I’ll die on etc.

My favorite topic in the world! Let’s do it.

Sleep is the baseline. If your sleep is bad, everything else you’re doing is a waste of time. Most people are walking around exhausted and then wondering why they feel anxious, inflamed, and hungry all the time. Aim for 7–9 hours. Same sleep and wake time during the week. Cold, pitch- black room. No scrolling in bed. If you’re serious, you’ll fix this first.

Diet is where people start overcomplicating things. You don’t need a 10-step protocol. Start with a 12–14 hour overnight fast and extend it if your body responds well. Fasting can improve insulin sensitivity and reduce constant snacking, but more is not always better, especially for women. Also just eat real food? Prioritize protein, healthy fats, and fiber. Cut processed sugar and packaged food as much as possible at home. You can eat out, just don’t live off it. If you constantly feel bloated, tired, or craving sugar, your diet needs work. It’s that simple.

Exercise is not optional. And no, Pilates twice a week is not enough on its own. Women need to lift weights. It’s one of the best things you can do for your metabolism, hormones, bone density, and overall shape (you want to look in the mirror and think “damn my body is so hot” right?!). Lift 3–4 times a week. Push yourself. You don’t need to destroy yourself every workout, but it should feel challenging and you should get comfortable lifting until failure. Walk every day. Add cardio if you enjoy it, but strength is the priority.