every time Andrew fucks him while pinning him up against the wall, Neil can’t take his eyes off his arms—taut, sharply defined, tense with the effort of keeping him lifted. Andrew always notices exactly where his attention is fixed, and it only seems to turn Neil on more. “Junkie,” he hisses, but Neil’s too busy biting down on his lip to even try to answer.

staying silly is all i got left like i got no money no prospects i’m a burden to my parents and i’m frightened

The problem with "treat yourself like you would treat a friend :)" is that I can't treat myself like I treat someone that I'm not personally responsible of. I don't have to make anyone else get out of bed. I don't have to make anyone else do their work. I don't have to make anyone else maintain a social life. I don't have to make anyone else do their hobbies and chores. I'm not in charge of anyone else's life, of course I don't have to hold them to the same standards. And I can't verbally express how fast my entire shit would asplode if I treated myself like I treat people who are not my personal responsibility.

This is why these days I'm treating myself like a child that I'm trying to look after and teach.

Abandoning myself to some rich couple's doorstop in hopes of being able to give myself a better life.

“nobody wants to work anymore” yeah because everyone wants to kill themselves

the best thing you can do to a character make them averse to touch and absolutely starved for it

how was the destroying and betraying yourself for nothing was the destroying and betraying yourself for nothing fun? it didn't look fun

am i even mentally ill or am i just living in some kind of infinite torture chamber that would make anyone like this