Cringe is dead, and I'm still breathing

The cashier at Whole Foods just treated me like the village idiot because he told me to “look for the three little lines” on the app and i was like “I’m not seeing a hamburger. I see meatballs. Is that it?” And he said “maam you are looking for Three Little Lines”

i have never seen an animal moving this silly

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

The Hat Man is our greatest export

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

many of you just. genuinely don’t believe that people can grow and change.

this is about the death penalty and its also about call out posts about people who have already apologized for things they did a long time ago and it’s also about using ‘toxic’ or ‘abuser’ as if its an immutable class of person, and its also about any other circumstance with permanent consequences or wherein you assume someone is still the same person they were.

people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

not naming names but some of you are so creative and talented it's an honor to have you in my phone