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“shut up. can we really? who cares about the guys anymore, i just wanna throw things and ride in the ferrari. do you have the keys?”

“sure we can. woah, slow down there, gracie. how about we start with the guys and see where the night takes us. of course i do. my parents aren’t home and i always have my ways.” 

in an attempt to clear his mind and get a much needed breath of fresh air, xander decided to go for a walk around town. with no real destination, he roamed aimlessly, taking slow strides as he observed his surroundings. eventually, his feet led him straight to the coffee shop. an unplanned stop, but he thought he could use the boost of a caffeinated beverage, anyway. just as he swung open the entrance door and felt the cool breeze inside the cafe, a bottle came rolling to his feet. he leaned down and took hold of the item, carefully examining its contents. the owner was easy to spot, as the rest of her possessions were scattered on the floor. but when xander walked closer and got a better look, he realized that the fallen item belonged to someone he knew. “there you go, del.” he spoke softly, extending out the bottle in his hand towards delaney. between the gossip circulating around town and tristan’s frantic texting, his suspicions were confirmed that the girl was most likely expecting a baby. "so it's true, then ? you're pregnant ?" not wanting to make more of a scene, he muttered the words as he crouched to her level and assisted in picking up the remainder of her belongings. he was never one to stick his nose into other people's business, but just out of concern for her and tristan, he had to ask.

she grabbed the second bottle at his request and shut the fridge behind her, but lingered behind as xander made his way out of the kitchen. it was only because she didn’t want to make her hesitance obvious that the brunette eventually sucked it up and made her way into the living room. placing his bottle on the coffee table in front of the couch, she slid onto the cushion a seat away and turned her body slightly so she could face him. now that there was no way to avoid the topic at hand, shiloh suddenly realized that she was at a loss for words. traces of their encounter at the party and the fear that had left her frozen hadn’t disappeared from her mind quite yet. the only way to get past it was by talking even though she didn’t exactly want to admit anything. she watched him for a few moments, trying to direct her feelings into something tangible, but there was only a mix of confusion, slight hurt, but also some warmth. there was only one thing missing, which came to her as a small surprise. she wasn’t angry. at least, not anymore. “ you know, i don’t hate you. i couldn’t. i don’t even dislike you,” she suddenly confessed, a ghost of a smile passing her lips at how ridiculous it sounded. “ i mean, maybe i did a little after our fight, but i just want you to be okay. you were a huge part of my life and i can’t just shut off those feelings, i guess. as for for the breakup if we can call it that – i’m sorry for the things i said and what i didn’t say, but maybe that doesn’t even matter, ” she paused, struggling with what she wanted to get across as reminders of their relationship mingled with her mother’s words crept into her mind. “ we were probably doomed from the start – not to sound dramatic. at least, we tried. ” trying to end her her blurb with as much nonchalance and finality as possible, it didn’t completely mask the uncertainty she still felt.

clinging on to every word she spoke, a wave of mixed emotions flooded through his mind. he began to wonder how they even got to this point. sure, they always had their fair share of problems, but they always made it through them, regardless. that was, of course until they faced the abrupt end that left many unanswered questions and feelings of confusion. how they’d overcome this was unknown to the boy. he didn’t even know if such a thing was a possibility anymore. but if this conversation meant that they even had a sliver of hope at restoring good relations, then he was willing to give it a try. “well, that’s a relief. because i could never hate you either. even if i tried.” he admitted, trying his best to keep eye-contact. “and i’m sorry, too. if i hurt you in any way- that was never the idea. i know our relationship was far from perfect, but i never thought that this was how it would all end up... so, i suppose you’re right. no matter what we did or planned to do, maybe this was always how it was supposed to be. maybe you and i just weren’t meant to last.” truthfully, he couldn’t bring himself to fully believe that. it was just easier to accept that they were destined for misery, then it was to take a gamble and fight for something that might lead to further heart ache. “listen, shi. i’ve always been really, really terrible at talking about emotions and feelings and all that stuff. i mean, it took a lot for me even to knock on your door.” xander fessed up, nervously rubbing at the back of his neck. “it doesn’t come easy to me, and from what i can tell, it doesn’t for you, either. but somehow we found a way to do that. talk to each other- about everything- before, i mean. hell, you probably know more things about me than you bargained for.” trying to lighten the mood, he let out a weak laugh, before preceding onward in his attempt at expressing his feelings. “i don’t know what happens after this, nor what it means for us, but i guess what i’m trying to say is that you were an important part of my life, too. you know things about me that i’ve never told anyone before. and i don’t regret it... so, whatever does happen tonight and all the other shit that’s bound to come in the future, i’ll never not want the very best for you. i’ll be on your side, on your team- as incredibly corny as that sounds.” he reassured, a little taken aback that he willingly told her what he did. “whether you want me apart of your life in some way, shape or form, or if you just want to end it all right here, then we can figure that out. but i don't want to do this anymore. the whole pretending thing. you might be perfectly fine with it, i have no idea. but for me- i gotta tell you, it hasn’t exactly been the easiest.” 

    ‘ i can not believe that people still listen to panic ! at the disco and fall out boy these days. the bands were popular when i was a black t-shirt wearing teenager who wished that i disobeyed my parents, ‘ molly paused, realizing that perhaps she shouldn’t have been striking up conversations with people at record stores. ‘ – uh sorry. ‘

keeping his back turned away from molly, he held up a few cds to his face, pretending to be immersed in the world of music. he didn’t want to be rude, but he also didn’t want this specific brunette to take notice to him either. unfortunately for him, she wasn’t backing down, attempting to involve him in conversation. “oh, um, i don’t really mind it. to each their own, i guess.”

approaching the door with brief hesitance, there was a part of shiloh hoping it wasn’t xander but knew it was futile and her gaze soon fell upon him. she attempted to pull a smile as she immediately stepped aside to allow him through, not wanting to force pleasantries or let the reality of the situation sink in. “ hey. ” the greeting came out a little too softly and she walked ahead, hoping to hide the fact that she was nervous. “ i thought we could talk in the living room if that’s okay ? do you want anything to drink ? i was going to grab a water for myself. we have everything, except for alcohol, of course. unfortunate because cece is surprisingly generous with leftover bottles, but tristan is more than pleased to accept them instead, ”  she rambled feeling a touch of embarrasment over the fact that she was, in fact, rambling. pausing to open the fridge to pull out a bottle of water, she took in a breath before glancing over her shoulder. “ speaking of which, cass is passed out upstairs but if she gets up, she’d love to see you. – so, what will it be ?? ”

he stood idly in the corner of the kitchen for a few seconds longer, but as she began to gather the two bottles of water from the fridge, he started heading for the living room. taking a seat on one of the couches, he looked down at his hands, nervously fiddling with his fingers as the inevitable grew closer and closer. this should be a good thing. the conversation was far overdue and it led them to possibly achieving a sense of closure. but that's one of the things he feared. would this just be another thing for him to walk away from ? were they to officially label themselves as exes and go their separate ways ? he certainly hoped not. because before the relationship and the pile of mess that grew on top of that, he considered her a friend. and a good one at that. pushing the thoughts away, he continued to wait for her to join him.

“thats what i thought. i like you, you’re hired. this’ll be fun. now, what kinda car do you drive?”

“sure will be. uh, well, i mean it depends. i usually drive around a honda civic. but i say we take my step-dad’s ferrari for a spin. just to give those guys an extra 'fuck you'.”

❝i kind of hoped that you would out of goodness of your big heart, if not that then pity. i’m fine with whichever grants me my freedom.❞ he spoke, sure that no matter what he said xander had already made up his mind. ❝oh, how could it ever be a long night when i have you to keep me company? don’t be silly. and when you hate someone, you don’t call them ‘bud’.❞ zane sat down on the floor, ignoring dirt and oil that covered the surface, ❝you’re not perfect at this whole, ‘i hate you’ thing.❞ tone in which xander spoke didn’t indicate that he was concerned at all, making zane nod with a smile, ❝i get it. you need the tools to get the tool out, funny. you should have tried comedy instead of gambling.❞ he said casually, regretting it almost immediately. he never felt good about stealing from people, but he didn’t really feel too bad either because back then he didn’t know the people, they were faceless strangers with poor life choices. now, he felt bad. 

“soak up the company, because i’ll be leaving any second now. and i can refer to people however the hell i want to. there’s no official rule book.” xander retorted, still messing around on his phone. “maybe because i don’t hate you. i just don’t like you.” what zane did managed to screw xander over, but he didn’t hold a burning hatred for the boy. only a little grudge. after all, he was the one who tried his hand in a risky game and lost. he held partial responsibility for choosing to take part in something as chancy as gambling. “careful with what you say there, bud. you’re the one who’s stuck, remember ? and besides, that was my first and only time. i’ve learned my lesson. but it doesn’t make you any less of an asshole.” rolling his eyes, he put the phone back down by his side and turned to face the garage door. “you really wanna get out of there ? fine. all you have to do is apologize. doesn’t have to be too wordy nor does it have to be oscar-worthy emotional. just say sorry. i won’t like you any more than i do now, but it might be enough to convince me to bust you out of there.”

“you sure? she had a way of giving head like i’ve never seen or felt before.” milo said, giving a small nod but letting the topic go nonetheless. he squeezes himself next to xander, pushing him with his own body weight despite the space already given. “who knows, man what if you’ve gone soft? we havent been to one of those social shit parties in years. you think there’s one now we can fuck with? just like old times.” milo’s elbow digs into xander’s side with a nudge. “you admitted once that my animal facts and how we’re all gonna die because no one gives a fuck about the earth – turns you on. you don’t have to lie now.” he teased.

“soft ? wow, okay. but sure, this town is full of those snobby, rich pricks. especially, around my neighborhood. i say we take a trip down memory lane and go crash one of their parades. just like old times, indeed. that way i can also prove your ass wrong about this going soft shit.” he gave the boy a gentle nudge back, before arching an eyebrow at his next comment. “that was one time. i was tipsy and the way you were so passionate and heated over saving the planet from absentminded human beings was really hot. can you blame a guy ?”

just to tease the girl, xander dramatically placed a hand across his chest, as his eyes fell closed with a hurt expression written on his face. “not a huge breakfast person ? hearing you say that actually pained me, arielle. how dare you conform with the majority.” he dropped the topic with a chuckle before continuing to listen to the girl.“oh, i’ve noticed. doesn’t mean i don’t like to check up on you every now and then.”

“my bad. so i’m guessing this person is the creepy stalker type, then ? i would gladly take it off your hands, but most of this stuff is pretty useless to me. your name is written on just about everything. i know, why don’t you just sell it online ? make a quick buck or somethin’. there's got to be a few laylas out in the world wanting this junk.”

❝i admit that my choice of the knight in the shining armor is terrible, but… who else do you know that can knock the door down if necessary? besides you?❞ almost right after he had finished calling him, zane knew his choice was poor to say the least, but it was the only choice. really, justin timberlake knew what he was on about —  what goes around comes back around. leaning his head against the door, he listened to xander speak, unable to hold back a grin, ❝how unfortunate for me.❞ the blonde spoke melodically.❝jammed by what exactly? your undying hatred for me?❞

“that doesn’t matter when your knight in shining armor isn’t willing to exert any actual effort to save you, now does it ?” it would be a blatant lie to say that xander wasn’t at all enjoying zane’s predicament. as they say, karma’s a bitch. “isn’t it ? hope you’ve got a cozy little setup in there or it’s gonna be a long night for you, bud.” he snickered before pulling out his phone. he played around with some random apps as he leaned himself against the garage door. he wasn’t actually planning to leave the poor guy in there for a full night, but that didn’t mean he didn’t deserve a little torment. “mhm, something like that. it’s really up in there, too. might need a whole tool box and a few extra hands to even get the thing to budge. oh no, whatever will i do now.” he spoke with little concern, his tone of voice sounding harshly apathetic.

“this is why i ask these questions, because some genius like you shows up with a brilliant idea. i could do both, i should do both. he deserves an egging and i deserve something nice after. hm. have you ever driven a getaway car?”

“genius ? you flatter me. woah, woah, woah, hold it right there. are you planning to get innocent ole’ me involved in your devious scheme ? because if you are, i’m in. getaway driver is practically listed on my resume, so i think we’re good to go.”

“remind me to brush up on my acting skills.” xander playfully rolled his eyes at himself, defeated that jude could see that he was slightly reluctant in the matter. “i’d say mine. nobody’s home and for what it’s worth, it’s pretty damn roomy in there. plus, it’s closer.” he suggested, trailing closely behind the boy. “mind, if i ride with ? i walked here.”