And you don't even get a pension!

"We umm, we haven’t met. I’m Luce."

The creator of this video, Killa, was foundational to the development of fandom on the internet. She’s more or less responsible for kick starting all of online Kirk/Spock slash fandom with her fanfiction Turning Point in 1995:

The story which is generally thought of as having started the rush of K/S online is “Turning Point” by Killashandra, or Killa as she has now come to be known, initially published one chapter at a time in late 1995 on alt.sex.fetish.startrek and completed in January 1996, making it the third piece to be presented as K/S to online readers, but without the caveats of the other two contenders for first. Oh, but the reaction! Not only is it the first accredited, consummated K/S story available online, but it is lushly written and emotionally intense, telling the story of the interval after the five year mission and before Spock leaves for Gol. (from an article titled The Legacy of K/S on the Internet: The Source of the Mississippi, quoted on Fanlore)

I don't know if print K/S fans realise how defining an effect Killashandra's work has had on the web. Turning Point, originally published on the 'Net in 1995, and Full Circle, copyright 1997, have had an effect on web Treksmut fandom that is difficult to overestimate. I guess that the majority of people who got interested in K/S via the web are here because reading "Turning Point" was a conversion experience. It's not just the "Oh my gosh, I'm not the only one who sees their relationship that way" feeling. What Killa did is prove, by demonstration, that there is no limit to how good K/S (or fan fiction) can get. She has raised the bar all the way. We can no longer say: "It's only fan fiction," or "It's only Star Trek." (from The K/S Press #29, quoted on Fanlore)

As if that weren’t enough, she’s also the one who made that other Star Trek Knights of the Round Table fanvid that went viral in the late 2000s:

to be more specific, my favourite thing about origins is that you, as the player character, are faced with the exact same choice. you will always resolve the circle tower uprising. you will always resolve the issue between the dalish and the werewolves. you will always settle the secession crisis in orzammar. you will always fight the archdemon and win over it. but how? what are your means? will you murder a child to spare redcliffe? will you slaughter cornered circle mages trapped in a tower with no escape? will you kill innocent werewolves who had nothing to do with a tragedy that happened hundreds of years ago? will you support a king that has his own family's blood on his hands because he wants change or a king that's more committed to culture & tradition over justice?

does it matter? to you? to anyone? why does it matter, if you're going to get to the same place in the story at the end?

and the story tells you. again and again. it matters. it matters because the ends do not justify the means. to roughly quote ursula k le guin, it matters because there is no end - you start the awakening dlc as your own warden if you survived, or as an orlesian warden if not. so, all you have left is the means.

I talked about him a lot and about how he was just so dang COOL, dang it, because he was so frickin’ cool. And I really liked him. I thought he was funny and smart and interesting and cool and fascinating and a bunch of other weird feelings I barely had the attention span to think about (I think my ADHD may have prevented me from coming out for a while tbh).

One day, I’m like 14-15, his dad is called to be my Sunday School teacher. His dad is this ex-military hardass with a chip on his shoulder for absolutely no reason and unattainable standards for his children. He spent most of Sunday School talking shit about his eldest boy and how he was rebellious and didn’t listen to him and how that was going to make him a bad adult and a bad son forever. How his son was too lazy and unmotivated to be successful because he didn’t listen to his advice on how to read the scriptures. He complained about how our generation was too weak to do things right and that our generation would surely be the one that brought the world’s downfall because of our laziness and sin.

And like, first of all, that guy can already go fuck himself for that. To clarify, that’s already stupid. BUT. He was talking about the man I had uncomfortable dreams about at least once a month. I couldn’t stand it. I’d get so mad I’d go home shaking sometimes because how fucking DARE he insult his hardworking stunning son by calling him lazy? For not reading the Bible the way his dad wants? When he’s already spending his time learning bagpipes? And fixing cars? And being cool? And cute? Who the fuck even cares if he uses the footnotes in the Book of Mormon? Who gives a rotten rat’s ass if he doesn’t use the scripture study manual his dad uses? He’s so cool he doesn’t even need it? So fuck off?

And eventually I got fucking Sick Of It and decided to mutiny. And by mutiny, I mean skip class. I’d just not go. And after a bit, adults started noticing and bugging me about it. At first, this was put off by small talk and excuses, but as my absence from Sunday School became more well-known, my excuses began to be rejected.

“Oh, Lizard, why aren’t you in class?” Uhm idk because my Sunday School teacher is mean to his kid and that makes me so mad wtf do you want from me? 🫠🤔

“Where’s your class, I’ll go with you!” Oh no ty I’d rather peel my own eyes than have my taste in men critiqued tyty 🩷

“Lizard, you should go to class, I’m sure they miss you!” And I miss the innocent days where my stomach didn’t hurt when a cool boy I knew was being belittled but unfortunately for us both those days are LONG gone and all that’s left is a budding psychosexual clusterfuck that will render me almost fully incapable of functioning for the better part of a decade so Bye Bye, sister Smith 🙂‍↕️

It had gotten to the point that ward leadership was involved. I was being approached by members of the Young Men’s presidency and the Bishopric to try and make me to back to class. They were telling me God had told them to find me and instruct me on my rebelliousness. This is where I implemented my secret weapon - women. Mormons are weird as hell about a lot of things, but especially about women. And I was GREAT with women. So to combat the leadership’s attention, I started helping women.

Our ward had a lot of new moms with babies who were, as babies tend to be, fussy. But for Mormon women the church is often their only social outlet, so they try to power through as long as they can even if it means enduring the exhausting ordeal of taking care of a fussy baby at church.

For what it’s worth, I have a lot of sway with babies. I got baby street cred. Me and babies have a rapport. I have always known this. I have always loved this. And in this crucial gay time in my faggot life my baby mind powers came in clutch - Every time I saw a member of the bishopric getting close, or a young men’s leader giving me side-eye, I’d start walking slowly towards class, passing by relief society. I’d wait until a mom’s baby had gotten too fussy and needed to leave the room, and I’d swoop in like a knight. “Oh, don’t you worry sister, I’ll bounce him a bit. You go back and hang out with your friends in class. You deserve a break.”

If it was a diaper change or something they’d tell me no. But if it was just some good old-fashioned baby fusses, I mean, they’d be moved almost to tears. They just got their social time back AND a free babysitter who is renowned as the Baby Whisperer. And because I was holding a baby as a favor for someone else, I of course could not reasonably be bothered to return to class.

So just like that, I was out of everyone’s sights. This went on for about a month before the straw that broke the camel’s back, which was that without my class participation the classes were quiet and awkward. I’d often take the brunt of Sunday school lectures by answering questions impulsively and over explaining myself enough that the clock could run out without anyone needing to do or say much. My absence meant everyone else was getting hit with the full unpleasantness of this guy’s bullshit. And so slowly, one-by-one, I had a group of about 8 kids on baby-holding duty. These new moms were so overjoyed, they and their husbands were both so actively in our corner that now chastising us was untenable. Now we had bargaining power. So the Bishopric approached us, confused beyond confused and uncomfortable beyond uncomfortable, and said,

“What’s it gonna take to get you back to class?”

The POWER I possessed in that moment was addictive. By being kind to the women of the ward and ignoring the Mormon de facto Rule of Law of following rules en-masse so the rule breakers feel left out, there were now so many people breaking ranks that we had effectively enacted a church boy labor strike. And they crumbled so fast it was almost like we had swayed God himself to our cause.

“I want brother assholedad gone. He sucks at teaching.”

I didn’t even have to say it. One of my rebels said it for me. I just nodded sagely and said “Yes, his class is not edifying. It’s better to not go and hold babies.”

And just like that, with a snap of my limp-wristed, Christ-wounding, bottom-brained fingers my faggot will was enacted. God’s revelation that brother shitdad was his chosen Sunday school teacher flipped on a dime. Suddenly brother shitdad was asked to be an usher and the fun dad of another one of my crushes was called in to teach us. I still stayed to hold babies a lot, but the rest of the class returned and all was well again.

Although I didn’t recognize it then, I think that was a formative moment for me in a lot of ways. I learned that being really persistently annoying will get me what I want from authority eventually. I learned that God’s will can be swayed by going in strike. I learned that ignoring men’s made up authority forces them to level with you as a person. I learned that caring for women, especially vulnerable women, can make a whole world happier. I learned that letting women rest can help them feel more love for the things that matter in their life. I learned that social bonds make everyone stronger and happier. And I learned that loving others in a gay way can change the world.

If you’re on my page it probably means you’ve seen my endless gushing about Ne Zha 1 and 2. I’ve always been a huge fan of domestic animation (domestic for me meaning China) as well as international Japanese and Western animation.

In particular, I admire big blockbuster animated films that managed to both convey cultural, artistic and spiritual messaging through a medium as notoriously finicky as animation.

Some of my favourite animated movies (I think this is an opinion held by every animation fan) are the Spiderverse series (despite not being a Spiderman fan) and the Ghibli movies of my youth. 

Being Chinese, though, I grew up with 2D animated TV shows that cemented their place in my upbringing. Shanghai Animation Studio movies such as Ne Zha Conquers the Sea 1979,

Havoc in Heaven 1961,

and even 1878’s Calabash Brothers (or Gourd Brothers? I guess?)

are all iconic parts of growing up as a Chinese.

Chinese animation has never been widely acclaimed on a global scale the way Japanese animation and sometimes Western animation have. The domestic animation industry is made entirely up of passion projects, which can seem great until you realise passion projects don’t typically tend to make money.

In a film industry as hyper-competitive and critical as China, most animation projects never tend to make it far. Art and music, while highly respected once you achieve success, have high barriers to entry. Chinese people are very critical of artistic work because of thousands of years of artistic development.

You may have heard of a recent animated film in China called A Mermaid Summer (or however it was translated). 2 people spent 7 years making it- the movie was bullied to oblivion.

A Mermaid Summer is, quite frankly, shit. It’s terrible. The animation is bad, the storytelling is bad, the voice acting is bad. It was, however, a passion project made by like 2 people on their own- people understand why it’s bad, and it’s not like we expected Oscar-worthy visuals.

Does this seem incredibly harsh to bully these two hardworking people? YES, it does! And it IS harsh and mean!

Understand that thousands of beautiful works (made meticulously and with great care) receive little to no attention in the domestic industry, made by equally small teams as A Mermaid Summer but with much higher quality.

The creators weren’t seasoned pros and definitely didn’t deserve to be bullied so much, but it would’ve honestly been much better if they had scrapped it. (They had actually considered starting over but decided to keep going, which I think wasn’t a good decision). 

Putting out a bad product is never better than taking your time, even if it takes you a lifetime.

I tell you about A Mermaid Summer to establish some baseline rules in the Chinese film industry and how Chinese people want films to be made (both animated and non-animated):

It does not matter how long it takes. The end product has to be good.

If the product is bad, NO MATTER how beloved the director/idea/IP/characters are, it’s going to flop.

In an animated movie: either the animation has to be great, or the plot has to be great. If you have one or the other, it’s meh. If you have both, yay! You cannot, however, get away with having both be mid.

If the product is bad, no one cares how much work you put in or how sad your circumstances are: there is going to be ZERO people complimenting or watching your work. Results speak, not effort.

Doesn’t this seem very strict? That’s because it is, but it’s the reality. Recently a movie came out based on the beloved novel series by Jin Yong, called Legend of the Condor Heroes. Condor Heroes is probably one of China’s biggest ever IPs. 

Its fans are everywhere. My parents love Jin Yong’s novels and so do 80% of China’s population. It’s as big as Harry Potter, basically, just for a different audience.

The actors in the movie are all popular too. Xiao Zhan, Leung Ka-fei, Ada Choi are all big-names.

However, Legend of the Condor Heroes completely flopped. The art direction and writing was bad and the acting was mid. The movie industry is not like the TV drama industry: if your movie is bad, NO ONE CARES if the actors are hot or if the IP is big, it will flop.

In this harsh environment, animated films especially struggle. We’ve seen a severe lack of good Chinese animated films. Is this critical culture to blame? Certainly part of the problem, but it’s also (somewhat sadly and ironically) what drives people to want to excel.

A very tough love solution. 

This is why it is especially shocking and especially impactful that Ne Zha 2 is doing so well.

Ne Zha 2’s director’s stage name is Jiaozi (which means dumpling). His real name is Yang Yu. I will call him Jiaozi, though. 

He graduated from med school in a fairly-prestigious university in Sichuan. Everyone knows how rigorous med school is. While he was studying, he spent every night holed up in his dorm figuring out the basics of animation. After graduation, he didn’t go to work- he spent three years living basically in his mother’s basement trying to make an animated film. 

A very, very classically doomed story. However, against all odds, he did it. He released a 16-minute animated short in 2008 called 打，打个大西瓜 (or See Through).

It’s available on YouTube and it has a total of 0 lines of dialogue. This short, however, went viral for its anti-war, anti-hate and anti-propaganda message. It won a lot of domestic and international awards. 

Through those three years he spent making See Through, he lived off his mother’s retirement fund of 200 dollars a month (1000 yuan), bought virtually nothing, and worked 14 hours a day.

See Through didn’t garner him instant success. After all, it was just an animated short. Within a year it wasn’t really mentioned anymore. He did, however, get his foot in the door.

Ne Zha is one of the biggest IPs in China. He has the most film/anime/comic/game adaptations after Sun Wukong (that’s including Dragon Ball and all the Dragon Ball spinoffs). 

Jiaozi basically made Ne Zha 1 on two cents and a dream. The movie was low-budget (I’m talking 22 million) and in interviews, he revealed he had no money to hire a motion capture expert or a voice acting coach, so he did all of this himself. He even voice-acted some of the characters to save on costs.

The entire cast was unknown VAs. The animation was done by newbies just entering the industry. This movie was the definition of cutting costs.

Against all odds, it succeeded. Ne Zha 1 won fans over with its humour, stellar character-building and refreshing message. It became the highest grossing film of that year and catapulted Jiaozi into fame. 

Almost as soon as Ne Zha 1 succeeded (within a year), Jiaozi began work on Ne Zha 2. 

If you compare pictures of Jiaozi before and after producing Ne Zha 2, you can notice he looks like he’s aged a lot more than 5 years.

Jiaozi has said he’s an extremely introverted person prone to anxiety, and that he’s a huge perfectionist to the point where it’s harmed both his professional and personal life.

He outsourced many of the more complicated scenes on Ne Zha 2 to top foreign production companies. You can see their names (Korean, Indian, Japanese, American etc) in the end credits of Ne Zha 2.

However, he said in an interview that because the project was coming from mainland China (which, as we’ve established, has a fairly weak animation industry), these foreign companies sent only their lowest-rate animators despite the high rates Jiaozi was paying them.

As such, Jiaozi had to redo most of these scenes from scratch with domestic groups.

Hundreds of animation studios in China joined to work on Ne Zha 2. Jiaozi invested almost all the money he made off the first movie back into the second one. These workers were young, passionate newcomers to the industry- they once again didn’t have the budget to hire seasoned pros despite the much looser spending constraints.

The studios that joined Jiaozi worked at low rates (sometimes not even breaking even on labour costs) to produce Ne Zha 2.

5 years later it happened. Ne Zha 2 is making an incredible amount of money. 

Most people are worried about the pressure the success of Ne Zha 2 is putting on Jiaozi- about a week ago he officially announced he’s stopping all interviews and publicity for Ne Zha 2 to go into “seclusion” to work on the 3rd movie, before 2 even finished airing. 

He’s been working extremely unhealthy hours for over a decade. However, the results have paid off. That’s all we can say, I guess.

The reason why many Chinese adore Ne Zha so much isn’t just because the movies are good- it’s because the movies are good enough that they basically became hope for the future of the domestic animation industry.

A *relatively* small company (not small anymore, considering how big they’re probably going to get in the future) managed to make 2 of the highest grossing films in Chinese history and one of the highest-grossing films of all time. Jiaozi has made more in box office sales with 2 full-length movies than most directors with over thirty or fourty.

It’s incredible that what seemed like such a doomed journey turned out so fantastically. Many young Chinese animators now dream of working with Jiaozi, or becoming like him.

Of course, Jiaozi isn’t perfect. He’s at the very least extremely talented, probably a “genius” (or however you define genius) and incredibly hardworking. 

His workers describe him as a nightmare director not because he’s rude but because he is incredibly nitpicky and has seemingly impossibly-high standards. He’s also a little bit of a douchebag (he made a short film called The Boss’s Woman that’s pretty misogynistic but it was never formally released). 

However. You can’t deny that Jiaozi has accomplished what decades of animators before him haven’t been able to. Ne Zha 2 is the greatest animated movie in history. That’s incredible for the Chinese animation industry, which before Ne Zha has never been able to get a stable footing.

Some other Chinese animated movies I recommend as well as some notes.

As a general rating marker: I rate 

Ne Zha 1: 7.5-8/10

Ne Zha 2: 9/10

The Shawshank Redemption: 9.5/10

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King: 9/10

Decide from these rankings whether or not you think my opinions on movies are valid and if you want to keep reading.

大鱼海棠 Big Fish and Begonia 2016

7.5/10

Co-produced with Korean animation studio

Very touching, very tear-jerking

Animation is beautiful

长安三万里 30,000 Miles from Chang’An 2023

6.5/10

Ehhhh?

It’s definitely touching but not for everyone

Not understandable for a wide audience: you’d need to know some basic Chinese history and culture

It’s okay

People either love it or hate it

西游记之大圣归来 The Journey to the West: Hero is Back 2015

7.5/10

The animation is just okay, but the story is great

Very hype

One of the first domestic animated movies whose release I actively followed

Without background of JTTW it’s not very good, but if you know you know.

新神榜：杨戬 New Gods Reborn: Yang Jian 2022

6/10

The animation is good: more precisely, the models are good

The storyline is kind of a mess

Much better than the other New Gods Reborn movie, which we don’t talk about

Worth a quick watch

白蛇缘起 White Snake 2019

6.5/10

Not bad, the storyline was meh

It got some hype abroad but it’s mid

Worth a watch but it’s way overrated

深海 Deep Sea 2023

7.5/10

The animation is beautiful and the story is good!

Worth a watch! I recommend it

Very dreamcore, floaty feeling

Just came back from watching Ne Zha 2, really loved it for the dark fairy tale it is. My worry was that it's gonna be a rehash of all the old jokes, old settings and old characters from the first one, but the film actually introduced some truly interesting new characters and elements. Post-apocalyptic ruins of the dragon palace was really cool, Shen Gongbao's little brother was super cute, and the Yu Xu Palace, which is arguably the centerpiece of this film, is a classic and universal trope of centralised and homogenous power that's utilised well and depicted with nuance.

The Yu Xu Palace masquerades its supreme power as supreme righteouness, dictating what's good and what's evil, who's noble and who's base. Of course, later it's revealed that the cultivation pills from which the Wuliang Immortal derives his power are literally made from burning people alive inside a furnace - this theme of cannibalism, standing for ruthless social oppression, has a long history in modern Chinese literature, most notably seen in Lu Xun's seminal text Diary of a Madman, where the supposed madman sees cannibalism written all across historical records about "benevolence and righteousness". Ne Zha, being brutally honest, was duly unimpressed by the palace, commenting that it's "white, so white, very white." That's the one fundemental characteristic of the palace - its whiteness - white not in the sense that it's pure as white jade that symbolises virtue in Chinese culture, but white in the sense that it's sterile like a surgical environment that can't tolerate anything it finds alien and heterogenous. Ne Zha also questions where they get all this money to build the Yu Xu palace entirely in jade? And what does the Xu in the name of the palace stand for? Is it "with a guilty conscience"心虛 or "spiritual emptiness" 空虛? (Because that's what they are).

If there is one piece of literature that can define the mythology of an entire culture, what would that be? The Bible? The Homeric Epics? The Vedas?

None of these works can encompass an entire pantheon or mythological universe. Similarly, Chinese mythology does not rely purely on Journey to the West. Two other pillars of mythology are the 封神演义

and the 山海经 (the Classic of Mountains and Seas), an old National Geography magazine with lots of myths thrown in.

There are many, many more ancient and famous works, but these three are generally very widely-known. 

I’ll be focusing on the Fengshen Yanyi (Romance of the Investiture of the Gods, or just Investiture of the Gods in general). BTW, investiture means something like inauguration, deification or promotion in case it’s an unfamiliar word.

The Fengshen Yanyi

I covered this one very briefly in my Ne Zha post, linked here, but Fengshen Yanyi was a novel written in the 16th century by Xu Zhonglin.

It chronicled (in a fantastical manner, of course) the war between the King of Shang

and the eventual King of Zhou

It’s treated very much like the Trojan War, in which different gods assist in the battle, and incorporates many classic Chinese heroes.

Since it was written fairly recently by Chinese standards (only a few hundred years ago as opposed to a few thousand years ago), it’s become one of the main sources of information on mythology and the characters within it. 

The Zhou/Shang battle itself occurred over 3000 years ago, in 1056 BCE, and lasted some fifty years. 

It’s fairly impossible to cover the events of the novel in a single post since that would be the longest post in Tumblr history, but I will only cover its premise, not its plot. Honestly, I’m not even clear on the exact details of the plot of Fengshen myself, since it’s so long and complicated.

Chinese mythology is incredibly complicated. Even the most widely-accepted versions of myths are almost guaranteed to be inaccurate to their original versions thousands of years ago. Dates, times and who’s who are impossible to determine. As such, take what I say with a grain of salt, and do your own research, as painful as it may be. This is only meant to give an idea of what’s going on.

Additionally, the Fengshen Yanyi (also called the Fengshen Bang, or Deification List/Plaque), is just a novel. Think of it as a historical fantasy novel, or the Lord of the Rings Plus. It may be very foundational today, but it’s not the end-all-be-all of mythology. This is also true for Journey to the West, which is a fictional tale!

After all that preamble, let’s begin.

___

So, the highest official is the Haotian Emperor 昊天大帝. He’s the head honcho of the Heavenly Court.

I couldn't find any pictures of the Haotian Emperor (in popular culture he's usually depicted as young and hot, unlike the Jade Emperor, who's usually depicted as an old dude). As I mentioned in my Ne Zha post, it's debated whether or not the Haotian Emperor and the Jade Emperor are the same person.

I will assume them to be different people even though it's like 60% sure they're the same person, since I already referred to the Emperor in my Ne Zha post as the Jade Emperor. As such, Haotian Emperor is higher-ranked than the Jade Emperor, who works for Haotian.

Again! Time for a SUPER LONG backstory that is essential but also not ENTIRELY relevant to the actual plot of Fengshen. Think of this as a description of how the Fengshen Yanyi happened, or like historical background behind a war.

The Heavenly Court, rather than being a loose collection of gods with one ruler like in Greco-Roman mythology, is a proper government, with bureaus, supervisors, and minimum wage office workers. As such, it’s not exactly super desirable to work for the Heavenly Court.

Sure, you get to be a god, but it’s also the equivalent of working a cubicle job for eternity. You’re also a very lowly god: most heavenly officials aren’t powerful, just old: you could even get your ass kicked by a random monkey (foreshadowing). 

Not fun.

The Haotian Emperor is feeling a little lonely and overworked. He thinks there’s not enough workers in the Heavenly Court, so he wants to do some hiring (more on this later! Keep this part in mind.)

Who’s currently up in Heaven? Well, in Daoist mythology, the Dao created one, one created two, two created three, and three created everything (道生一，一生二，二生三，三生万物). What this means is that the Dao created the foundations of the world: the Three Pure Ones, three super-old super-powerful immortals.

These three super powerful immortals are as follows:

元始天尊 Yuanshi Tianzun, or Primordial Heavenly Lord

This is him in Ne Zha 1 (2019).

After he was created, he oversaw and supervised the creation of everything else. 

灵宝天尊 Lingbao Tianzun, or Treasured Heavenly Lord

Lingbao Tianzun was created from Yuanshi Tianzun. 

道德天尊/太上老君 Daode Tianzun (Virtuous Lawful Heavenly Lord) or Taishang Laojun (High Elder Lord)

The reason he has two names is because it’s unknown if Taishang Laojun and Daode Tianzun are the same person by different names: the answer is probably, but not 100%. He is the oldest, most powerful one. He is also considered to be Lao Zi (Lao Tsu), the founder of Daoism (I sometimes switch between Daoism and Taoism, but they’re the same thing).

In the above picture, Daode Tianzun is on the left, Yuanshi Tianzun is in the middle, Lingbao Tianzun is on the right. Yuanshi and Lingbao look very similar, but you can always identify Daode since he's the oldest one so he's the only one with white hair.

However, these three, despite being at the centre of everything, are not the most powerful. Chinese mythology and Daoism are messy. Stay with me: I promise I’m getting to the actual explanation of the Fengshen Yanyi soon.

The Creation Spirit created more beings before these three pure ones. One of these beings is called 鸿钧老祖 Hongjun Laozu, or Grandmaster of Eternal Balance

Could not find a picture of him, so just imagine a super old guy with big fancy robes.

(There is another one of these beings called Nuwa, the mother of all: she essentially sculpted humans out of clay. Keep her in mind, she’s important).

This is Nuwa! Technically her name is Nüwa, it's pronounced Nyoo Wah.

He takes three disciples: the Three Pure Ones, Yuanshi Tianzun, Lingbao Tianzun, and Daode Tianzun. 

Sometimes, these three disciples are Yuanshi Tianzun, Lingbao Tianzun, and another guy called 通天教主 Tongtian Jiaozhu (Teacher of All Through Heaven, or Grandmaster of Heaven). Tongtian Jiaozhu is the one that appears in Investiture of the Gods.

Yuanshi Tianzun and Daode Tianzun (Lao Zi) create the 阐教, or the Chan Sect to teach Taoism their way. The features of the Chan Sect are that there is no one leader- Yuanshi Tianzun and Lao Zi both teach the sect, they pick their disciples very strictly and only choose the best of the best, and every single disciple must follow strict rules and live very properly.

Fun fact: I’m sure you’ve heard of the concept of Zen. Zen is just the Japanese pronunciation of Chan: Chan Buddhism (or Zen) is the most widely-practised version today.

However, Tongtian Jiaozhu creates his own sect instead of the Chan Sect because he doesn’t like the prim and proper way they do things. His sect is called the 截教 or Jie Sect. His sect takes in all manners of people under the sun and is less proper, but also smaller than the Chan Sect. 

Why do I even mention these 2 sects? Well, in Investiture of the Gods, the main conflict is between King of Shang and King of Zhou (who wants to overthrow him since King Shang is a tyrannical brutal ruler), right?

Nope! In fact, it’s really more of a conflict between the Jie and Chan sects. The Zhou/Shang war is more of an excuse to go to war. The Jie fight for the King of Shang, and the Chan fight for the rebellion (for the eventual King of Zhou).

Why use the Zhou/Shang war? Well, the King of Shang kind of sucks, so people want a way to get rid of him. Remember Nuwa, the mother goddess who created humans? She also, by the way, made pillars to hold up heaven, so she’s a big deal.

Well, the King of Shang goes to her temple to worship but gets sloppy drunk and hits on a statue of her. This is like the equivalent of Trump (or *Insert World Leader*, I guess, depends on your politics) sending a tweet saying he’s going to fuck the Virgin Mary. The King of Shang leaves a sex poem about Nuwa on the wall of her temple.

Nuwa sees this and gets super mad. She summons a 1000-year-old nine-tailed fox spirit. Fox spirits are generally seen as promiscuous sexual spirits, who disguise themselves as beautiful women and bewitch men to bring about the downfall of dynasties.

Nuwa tells the fox spirit that if she can bring down the Shang dynasty, she’ll make her immortal. (In the novel she sends two other spirits as well, one a spirit of a pipa, which is an instrument, and the other a spirit of a nine-headed pheasant, but these two aren’t as important as Daji, and they both get discovered and executed anyway).

This is the Zhiji Jing (Pheasant Spirit)

This is the Pipa Jing (Pipa Spirit), ignore the watermark, I copied this from Google. Pipa is almost like a Chinese cross between a guitar and violin. It's a very elegant and beautiful sounding instrument.

This is Daji, accompanied by a photo of the actress who plays Daji in the recent Fengshen movie series. The movies are a solid 7.5/10, pretty good but not SPECTACULAR, but Na Ran's acting as Daji is amazing. She also happens to be gorgeous!

Sweet deal! The fox agrees and disguises herself as a gorgeous war prize taken by the King of Shang. The body she inhabits is called Su Daji, who is the daughter of one of the regional lords conquered by the King of Shang. 

In the original tale, Su Daji’s father (this story is a little muddled, so read this part with a big maybe) gifts her to the King of Shang to appease him. Asshole dad. 

Another version is that Su Daji is sent away by her father for her safety and kills herself to avoid being taken as a concubine by the King of Shang- very unfortunately for her, the fox spirit inserts herself into her body to bewitch the King. (Fox spirits are generally cruel, and it’s a huge dick move to have someone use your body to sleep with your biggest opp).

When Daji arrives, she immediately catches King of Shang’s attention. He becomes absolutely bewitched by her, and spends so much time, money and thought on her that he neglects his state and begins ruling with a tyrannical iron fist. Daji, since she’s really a fox spirit, is cruel and sadistic, and invents a number of scary torture devices to torture King of Shang’s opps. 

You can Google these devices yourself. A little gruesome to repeat.

One of the most famous parts of the Fengshen Yanyi is what’s called the Deer Pavilion 鹿台, which is an example of the ostentatious and luxurious nature of the acts King of Shang did for Daji.

In the Deer Pavilion, the King of Shang builds a lake filled with good wine and constructs a forest of meat for him and Daji to lounge in. Wine pool meat forest 酒池肉林 (jiu chi rou lin) is now a Chinese saying for excessive extravagance.

The entire nation is super, super mad at the King of Shang and Daji, and decides to revolt against them. This rebellion is led by Ji Fa (the eventual King of Zhou) and Jiang Ziya, his tactician (think of Jiang Ziya as Odysseus: the clever, capable and clear-headed strategist). BTW Jiang Ziya is Ji Fa’s father-in-law, so it’s not exactly an Agamemnon-Odysseus relationship.

OKAY!!!

Remember when I said the Haotian Emperor was feeling a little lonely up in heaven and wanted some workers? Feels like a century ago. 

The three immortals in charge of the Chan and Jie sects (Yuanshi Tianzun and Lao Zi for the Chan sect, and Tongtian Jiaozhu for the Jie sect) decide they’re going to make what’s called a Fengshen Bang. 

Roll credits!

Just kidding. You wish.

As I said, Fengshen Bang means Deification Plaque, or a less proper translation is just List of Gods to Promote. What are the contents of this Fengshen Bang?

Remember when I said working for the Haotian Emperor isn’t exactly a good thing? In fact, it kind of sucks. The prerequisite for getting more workers in heaven is that whoever goes to work for the emperor has to die first and spend the rest of eternity working a cubicle job if they suck and if they’re powerful they end up like a special ops force, just with no glory or money. Who TF wants to do that?

Think of the Fengshen Bang as the Death Note of ancient China. The Haotian Emperor and the three immortal sect masters can tell that a bunch of people are going to die in the upcoming Zhou/Shang war, so they decide that whoever dies in the war will get their name put on the Fengshen Bang and die. 

There’s another interpretation that they just put a whole bunch of names on the Fengshen Bang before the war and whoever manages to not die gets their name taken off.

It can also be interpreted as Santa Yagami’s naughty list: whoever misbehaves gets their name put on as well.

Either way, it’s functionally the same: no one wants their name written down on that list!!

The two sects both don’t want their disciples to die and leave their sect weakened in comparison, so they go home to tell their disciples, listen up and don’t cause any trouble.

The war isn’t that long compared to the life of a cultivator (functionally immortal compared to only 50 years of war) so as long as you keep your head down and manage to survive you’ll be okay.

However, there’s this one dude: his name is 申公豹 Shen Gong Bao (Panther Elder Shen, where Shen is just his last name) and he got kicked out of the Chan sect for being an asshole. He’s also a panther spirit. (You may remember him from Ne Zha 1 and 2 if you watched it!)

This is a carving of Shen Gong Bao as well as his appearance in Ne Zha 1 and 2 (2019 and 2025 movies).

He decides he’s going to get some revenge on the Chan sect, so he tells everyone in the Jie sect that working for the King of Shang (remember, asshole dictator) is great: he treats all his subordinates really well, and that his bad reputation is just the Chan sect being stuffy old dudes. He wants the Jie sect to go fight for the asshole King of Shang against the Chan sect.

About half of the Jie disciples are dumb, and think that sounds great! So they descend from their halls and go to find the King of Shang.

Jiang Ziya, the rebellion tactician, anticipated this, and dispatched half the Chan forces to go help fight. The Jie disciples get their asses beat and all die.

This is a painting of Jiang Ziya. Don't question why his forehead is bulging out Megamind-style: that's just his big brain.

This is Jiang Ziya in the Jiang Ziya animated movie (2020) set in the same cinematic universe as the two Ne Zha movies. This movie kind of flopped, but I like the character design at least.

The other half of the Jie sect is like, how dare you try to beat us up! They all go down from their halls to go fight the Chan sect for revenge. Jiang Ziya prepares his troops very well, so the other half of the Jie sect gets their asses beat as well.

Oops! Now the Jie sect ends up functionally all on the Fengshen Bang. Since the Chan sect suffered losses as well, about a third of their newest group of disciples all die as well. 

The Haotian Emperor is happy to have an army of minions, everyone else is not happy. 

I’m assuming Tongtian Jiaozhu is really fucking mad that his disciples are all idiots, but now 90% of his sect is super, super dead and working depressing government cubicle jobs (the ones that are better trained are doing special ops work).

By the way, remember Ne Zha? After he killed himself graphically and was revived, he survived the entire time and ascended to an immortal to work as a marshall in Heaven.

Working in Heaven is bad if you’re forced to through dying: if you ascend to immortality through cultivation, you’re super powerful and it’s actually a great job.

So Ne Zha is having a great time absolutely smashing up the Jie sect and King of Shang’s forces. Also in Heaven working cushy great jobs are Ne Zha’s asshole dad Li Jing (now ascended to a deity, the Pagoda-Bearing Lord), Ne Zha’s two brothers Jin Zha and Mu Zha, and Erlang Shen (who I will cover in a different post).

These are all “good guys” on the side of the Chan, so they fight against the dictator King of Shang.

General Thoughts:

-You are right that Ming Shenmo novels pretty much inspired most of the "Chinese Mythos" in popular culture. However, some Chinese Mythology scholars don't count any of the vernacular novels as proper "Mythology", presumably because there's too much folk religion and Buddhist-Daoist influences?

-Yuan Ke certainly is of the opinion that works like JTTW or White Snake should be considered "New Mythology", in contrast to the classical myths of Shanhai Jing and Qin-Han era works.

-I personally see FSYY as a "pantheon-building" project with HUGE influence on the Shenmo novels that come after, as well as IRL folk religion iconography. 

The Main Body of the Article:

I first introduced the Heaven Haters boy band in my Erlang Shen post, but it’s a recent meme that describes Ne Zha, Sun Wukong and Erlang Shen as the 反天庭三人组, or the Anti-Heavenly Court Trio. A little like the 3 Musketeers.

I already included this art in a different post but it just goes so hard.

Artist 万葉皆秋 on Xiaohongshu and Douyin

I’m sure you can learn about Sun Wukong from more qualified people than me, but some shameless self-promo:

My Ne Zha post

My Erlang Shen post

My Investiture of the Gods post

I recommend either reading all 3 of these, or at least the first two, or doing some research into these myths before you can understand the power of the Heaven Haters boy band.

Keep in mind the Heaven Haters boy band is mostly headcanons and memes. While these three characters do all rebel against heaven, they all ultimately concede defeat to ultimate authority: Wukong gets properly humbled by the Buddha and the monk Tangsen (Read JTTW to know who Tangsen is), Erlang Shen and Ne Zha eventually become the Heavenly Court’s special ops squad.

Heaven Haters boy band is still funny though, and they genuinely do all hold resentment for heaven. 

I’ll make clear how and why the various members of the Heaven Haters boy band rebel against heaven.

Sun Wukong:

This is fairly obvious. His most famous story is literally called Havoc in Heaven 大闹天宫 (or more literally, Tantrum in Heaven)

He was literally born with Rebellion as his middle name. First thing he does upon gaining power is rampaging his entire way through the East China Sea Dragon King’s entire palace for fancy weapons. (This, by the way, is Ao Guang, Ao Bing’s dad.)

Then he goes and smashes up the heavenly palace. Then he literally FIGHTS HIS WAY THROUGH HELL and erases his name off the list of the dead. Soloed 100,000 of the Heavenly Court’s soldiers and won (actually I don't remember if this was in the original JTTW or if it's a plot point from a recent movie adaptation, but either way it's a pretty well-known part of his story).

Erlang Shen:

This seems subtler since he works for the Heavenly Court, and his uncle is the Jade Emperor, the head honcho. However, he still disobeyed the direct Heavenly Mandate to trap his mom under a mountain, and he split the mountain in half to save her.

Erlang is more of the cold, calculated type- if you offend him or try to fuck him over, he’ll ruin your life, but otherwise he couldn’t be bothered. In fact, even though he helps the Heavenly Court, he only does so for big opponents like Wukong- day-to-day tasks that his position requires, he totally ignores.

His uncle struggles to control him, and has resigned himself to just letting Erlang Shen do whatever the fuck he wants.

Ne Zha:

Although Ne Zha isn’t as strong as the other two, he’s still one of the strongest in the entire Heavenly Court. He’s the type to throw hands first and talk later. He’s more obedient to the Heavenly Court than Erlang or Wukong, but he’s probably actually done the worst thing out of the three of them: try to commit patricide.

This is a HUGE no-no in Chinese culture, which prioritises filial piety over almost everything else. Erlang Shen splitting the mountain in half to save his mother (and directly disobeying Heaven) isn’t as bad as Ne Zha trying to kill his dad.

I’m not going to blame him, since Li Jing is a bit of a dick, but if Li Jing didn’t have that powerful pagoda the Buddha gave him, Ne Zha would set him on fire in a heartbeat.

In battle, Erlang is what you would call a homing missile, Wukong is a tactical nuke, and Ne Zha is a bunch of cluster bombs. Erlang is precise and deadly, Wukong is… Wukong, and Ne Zha does not discriminate in who he wants to beat up. Surprisingly, out of these three, even though Wukong is the one famous for throwing a huge tantrum, he’s probably the most reasonable and gentle one.

Let me put it this way: would you rather deal with a murderous iPad kid on (actually) flaming Hot Wheels roller skates who punches first and asks questions later, a sadistic royal warrior who can split you open from inside (NOT THAT WAY, get your heads out of the gutter),

Or a feral monkey that you can placate just by calling him a bunch of fancy nicknames?

I'll just say that neither Ne Zha nor Erlang Shen would be tricked into putting on a cursed set of clothes to control them. I'd MUCH rather deal with Wukong as an enemy. Worst case scenario I die painfully anyway, so I'd like to at least have a chance to pull out the fancy nicknames and appease him.

See, this is the reason they sent Wukong to go on the Journey to the West and not Ne Zha or Erlang. I don’t think they would’ve made it two steps on the way before the other two beat Tangsen to death just for looking at them the wrong way. 

Also another thing that’s funny is their names technically line up.

Sun Wukong’s title: Qitian Dasheng 齐天大圣 Great Sage Equal to Heaven

Erlang Shen’s title: 二郎神 Godly Second Son

Ne Zha’s title: 哪吒三太子 Ne Zha the Third Prince

So… 大圣二郎三太子... Great Sage, Second Son, Third Prince. 

This is funny because this is the reverse order of their ages. Ne Zha is the oldest, Erlang is the second oldest, and Wukong is the youngest.

Also funny is that Erlang and Wukong are the strongest and Ne Zha is weaker despite being younger. Not much you can do against Monkey King hacks.

It’s debatable who’s stronger between Wukong and Erlang. Technically it’s Erlang- he’s beaten Wukong before, albeit with help and while Wukong was trying to protect others. 

Between the three strongest mythological characters (in popular culture, there are others stronger), their stats are:

11 eyes

10 arms

0 parents

10 billion various side characters killed

If you recall, Wukong was born out of a rock. Ne Zha’s mom is probably dead by now. He also already has “returned his flesh and bones to his parents” by cutting himself apart and committing suicide for his dad, so technically he and Li Jing aren’t father and son anymore. I actually don’t know if Erlang’s mom is still alive but his dad is definitely dead.

There’s a funny saying in Chinese: 一块石头两斤藕，三只眼睛栓条狗

One rock, two lotus roots, three eyes and a dog. 

That’s all it takes to make the Heavenly Court shiver in fear LMAO. Basically the equivalent of a toddler, a monkey and a Californian dog dad. 

In essence, I stan the Heaven Haters boy band more than any other K-pop group, sorry Stray Kids. I'm not going to lie though, Erlang Shen is definitely a smash. Ne Zha... IDK, not exactly my type (unless its the recent Jiaozi movie Ne Zha). Wukong is a monkey but I can definitely see the appeal for some people I guess.

Oubing (Ne Zha x Ao Bing) is probably the biggest ship in China right now. I'm sure we can all understand why. Soulmates, red blue, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, angst, hurt, comfort, THE WHOLE PACKAGE DEAL.

Oubing is generally a very sweet, vanilla and heartwarming ship. For those of us that like the darker stuff, though, I have something for you: 上美藕饼, or Shangmei Oubing.

What TF is a Shangmei? Shang-mei is an abbreviation for Shanghai Animation Studio, a company that made many beloved animated childhood films in the 60s-90s. They made the most iconic Ne Zha film, which is the 1979 Ne Zha Nao Hai (Ne Zha Conquers the Sea).

In the 1979 version, Ne Zha and Ao Bing are definitely not friends. Ne Zha plucks out Ao Bing's tendons and skins and kills him, and Ao Bing eats children. Ao Bing 1979 is also kind of really ugly (his dragon form is really pretty though!)

This doesn't exactly seem like ship material right? You're correct.

BUT!

Shanghai released a short promotional video to celebrate a collaboration. The promotional video featured Ne Zha and Ao Bing from the 1979 version. In the video, Ne Zha didn't kill Ao Bing. No. In this video, Ne Zha and Ao Bing have a bit of a... scary dynamic.

You can probably find the video on Douyin or XHS, but in it, Ao Bing appears in a familiar-looking red wheelchair. He looks very different from his 1979 design- he looks more human, and he's in a half-dragon half-human form. Generally much prettier than his 1979 design.

Throughout the video, he wears a slightly terrified and miserable expression on his face. His phone screen is a selfie with him and Ne Zha in which he's smiling VERY awkwardly. Ne Zha, in fact, has opened up a seafood shop for the two of them.

Probably the biggest thing is that Ne Zha in this promotional video calls Ao Bing "Bingbing". Ao Bing also calls Ne Zha "Zhazha." So cute, right? Seems normal?

Well, in Ao Bing's phone screen saver, the selfie with him and Ne Zha involves him sitting on the wheelchair, smiling a pained smile. Ne Zha is hovering over his shoulder, smiling a very THREATENING smile.

Oh, and the wheelchair? The wheelchair isn't a wheelchair. It's Ne Zha's flying red sash, the Huntianling. Remember this sash obeys Ne Zha's will.

You can interpret this two ways.

Ao Bing has had a change of heart but is a little depressed because he's disabled now. He and Ne Zha are just good friends, and Ne Zha is taking care of him while also keeping a close eye on him to make sure he's not doing anything bad.

2. The popular interpretation.

Ne Zha, out of trauma (remember his dad is a huge asshole and he had to commit suicide very, very painfully) has formed an inappropriate attachment to Ao Bing, who is terrified out of his mind of Ne Zha, but is essentially prisoner because he can't even walk and is trapped within the red sash at all times.

Ne Zha forces Ao Bing to call him by a cutesy nickname, pretend that he loves Ne Zha, and essentially is speedrunning Stockholm Syndrome.

VERY toxic and very dark. Remember that Shangmei's Ao Bing is not a good innocent baby dragon- he eats children. Ne Zha is a protagonist who believes in justice, but he's also a kid who's been through a LOT of trauma and has never had a good family, whereas Ao Bing grew up cherished and loved.

For Ne Zha, this twisted love may be all he knows. For Ao Bing, he's terrified out of his mind, but knows he "deserves" this treatment- doomed to play happy family with his enemy, the enemy that crippled him.

I am NGL, I kind of like this dynamic. Being part of a big fandom is so satisfying. Whenever I'm full on sweet happy Oubing content I can switch to dark Shangmei Oubing content.

Shangmei Oubing is now one of the most popular ships in Ne Zha fandom. It's second only to regular Oubing. People also ship Ne Zha and Ao Bing in the 2021 New Gods Reborn movie: that ship is also really yummy. Oubing in general is yummy.

The dynamic I've seen the most often is as follows, with minor alterations depending on the specific fanwork:

After beating Ao Bing's ass, Ne Zha leaves him alive, but the rest of the myth and story proceed as usual (for the actual myth, see my Ne Zha post linked here). After Ne Zha commits suicide and is reborn in a body made of lotus roots, he ascends to godhood.

Ne Zha, traumatised and brimming with hate for his "father" Li Jing, searches for any source of love and affection he can find. He settles on Ao Bing, his old enemy- the little white dragon who was once so arrogant. He doesn't know exactly why: half jealousy that someone as evil as Ao Bing can have a better family than him, and half a desire for revenge since Ao Bing's death was what led him to have to commit suicide.

He kidnaps Ao Bing and keeps him captive on the red sash wheelchair. Ao Bing's father can't help him- he's already lost to Ne Zha multiple times, so Ao Bing can only resign himself to being Ne Zha's plaything.

Ne Zha, seeking love in any way he can get it, essentially begins to play house with Ao Bing- pretending they're best friends, calling each other cute nicknames (in some versions forcing Ao Bing to share a bed with him) and generally being very affectionate.

Ao Bing, terrified of Ne Zha, goes along and essentially lives a life of misery.

Ne Zha technically treats Ao Bing very well if he doesn't misbehave. If he does, however, well then...Ne Zha sometimes tortures Ao Bing emotionally (his trauma has made him ruthless and somewhat cruel) and humiliates him by making him crawl, since Ao Bing is now crippled. When Ao Bing cries or gets upset, Ne Zha tells him it's his penance for eating children.

Mpreg is a common tag, but more commonly it's Ao Bing finding some way to either commit suicide or he goes completely insane after years of living in fear. Ne Zha panics after seeing Ao Bing break down, and realises he's come to truly care for Ao Bing.

In case you forgot, there’s a little (well, not-so-little) country in between Russia, India and the sea near Australia called China. She’s pretty well-known for being big, red, and old. 

As well as other things, but that’s all pretty new and not what we’re talking about here, I draw the line at those topics.

China is like the grandma of most Asian countries within the Sinosphere (area of influence that spread Chinese culture through the Silk Road, Tang dynasty diplomats and ideologies like Confucianism and Taoism and occasionally Buddhism).

As such, Chinese mythology and lifestyle practices are very deeply rooted in cultural beliefs across Asian countries like Japan, South Korea, Malaysia, Singapore, and Vietnam. 

This isn’t a post about the history of China. Well, it is, but the history of China is some 10,000 years of culture and 4000 years of recorded history, and I have neither the time nor the patience to go through all of it. To be quite honest, about 70% of it is irrelevant to even the lives of Chinese people.

What I’d like to talk about, instead, is some Chinese culture and mythology.

Many of you might have heard of the Journey to the West, or more specifically the Monkey King Sun Wukong. Undoubtedly he’s probably the number one IT boy in China, our biggest cultural icon and representative myth, and his name is synonymous with power, defiance, and badassery. 

You may have seen him featured in the recent hit game, Black Myth: Wukong!

Much of Wukong’s story involves his various shenanigans in his attempt to go to the West and retrieve Buddhist sutras with the monk Xuanzang and several other eclectic and iconic characters. However, Wukong’s history is not as well-known. In fact, much of his early days were spent in constant battle with the Heavenly Court.

That is what I want to talk about: the Heavenly Court. Essentially China’s pantheon. Wukong is so well-known that I feel it’s unnecessary for me to add any more commentary beyond woah, he is so cool, and other people probably have made enough content about him that anything I could add would be 画蛇添足 or paint feet on a snake (a Chinese idiom that means to stop adding useless details that don’t make any sense or serve any purpose).

Regardless.

China, beyond just Wukong, has an enormous selection of mythology involving gods, spirits and immortals as well as their battles against demons and monsters. These stories aren’t as well-known outside China but also feature prominently in what makes up the Chinese mindset. Having said that, here’s my attempt to inspire someone to make a Dragon Ball equivalent that doesn’t feature Wukong. 

___

I figured now would be as good a time as any to start with 哪吒三太子，or the Third Prince Ne Zha, since recently the Ne Zha 2 has smashed some records and brought the myth of Ne Zha into more prominence.

By the way, go watch this movie! I'll gush about this later, but it's super good.

As with most everything in Chinese history and mythology: overly-long exposition and background is always needed. In the 16th century, two dudes got together and decided to record the fall of the Shang Dynasty and the rise of the Zhou Dynasty in a novel. Being dramatic, they romanticized the historical tale and added a lot of pizzazz, including spirits, monsters, and gods. This tale is now referred to as 封神演义,or 封神榜: The Romance of the Inauguration of the Gods, or more commonly translated as Investiture of the Gods. 

This story serves as the basis for much of Chinese mythology and storytelling. Think of the Iliad or the Odyssey.

Ne Zha is a character in Investiture of the Gods. He’s not a key character in the main plot, which centers around King Zhou of Shang (who ironically rules over the Shang Dynasty and not the Zhou Dynasty, which uses a different Zhou pronounced differently in Chinese). However, he’s probably more famous than King Zhou is, just because he’s so fun, and also he’s featured very prominently in many of the stories we tell kids. 

According to the Investiture of the Gods, Ne Zha was born during the Shang Dynasty under the rule of King Zhou. He eventually becomes part of the rebel faction that overthrows King Zhou of Shang and establishes the Zhou Dynasty. For now, though, he is just a kid. His homeland is called Chentang Pass.

In fact, Ne Zha was born with hacks. He’s the incarnation of the 灵珠子, or the Spiritual Pearl, a ball of condensed spiritual energy. As such, he’s pretty OP from birth.

He has two older brothers who are already immortals, called Jin Zha (which means Gold… Zha) and Mu Zha (which means Wood Zha) and his parents wanted five sons named Gold, Wood, Water, Fire and Earth, representing the five elements, with Zha as a suffix.

However, in popular culture, it’s known that Ne Zha, originally Fire, absorbed his brothers Water and Earth in the womb. Because of this, his mother, Lady Yin, is pregnant with him for over three years- which really sucks. When he’s born, he manifests as what looks like a big meatball. 

His father, Li Jing, who’s a very high-ranking military general, freaks out and tries to stab him, but he pops out of the meatball as a fully-formed child, and is bestowed the name Ne Zha, literally: That Zha, since he’s three Zha-s in one. Kind of funny. 

Ne Zha, since he’s OP, could talk and walk from birth and skipped the baby stage and went right to infant. He was taken as the disciple of 太乙真人, or Realized One of Yin and Yang. We’ll call him Master Taiyi for simplicity. He gets two cool weapons: 混天绫, the Skyblinding Sash, or a sentient moving red ribbon similar to Doctor Strange’s red cape, and 乾坤圈, the Ring of Heaven and Earth, a gold size-changing ring. 

Ne Zha is still a human kid, despite being super OP, so when he’s little he asks his mom if he can go out of Chentang Pass to play. She’s like, sure! What’s the worst that can happen!

Oh boy.

Ne Zha wanders for a bit, then decides to take a bath in a river and uses the Skyblinding Sash as a towel. Basically the equivalent of using a tactical nuke to squish an ant. This powerful weapon being used as a towel sends so much energy through the stream that it literally reaches all the way to the East China Sea.

The Dragon King of the East China Sea is called Ao Guang, and he’s also got three sons. In the most well-known Ne Zha movie from 1979, he looks like this:

Ao Guang is like, what the fuck? He sends a yaksha, a mischievous water spirit, to check things out (no, not the yaksha you're thinking of.)

Ne Zha basically makes the ancient Chinese equivalent of a your mom joke to the yaksha, who gets super offended and tries to fight him. Then the yaksha gets his ass thoroughly kicked by a seven-year-old, who uses the Ring of Heaven and Earth to basically bash his head in. Yikes.

Ao Guang’s soldiers report this to him, and he’s very troubled by his lackey’s violent end at the hands of China’s worst iPad kid. Ao Bing, who is Ao Guang’s third son, volunteers to go beat up this seven-year-old kid, and is like, I’m the mighty third dragon prince of the East China Sea, there’s no way this toddler can beat me!

Not only does Ne Zha beat Ao Bing, he beats him so badly that he ends up pulling Ao Bing’s tendons out to make a belt for his dad Li Jing. Ao Bing probably died a staunch advocate for birth control. Ne Zha maybe needs some therapy.

Regardless, when Ao Guang hears his precious baby son has been killed rather painfully, he freaks out and goes to complain to Li Jing. Ne Zha is like, oops I killed your son, he was weak anyway, maybe you should train your next kid to be less pathetic, and Ao Guang is like you son of a bitch I’m reporting you to the Jade Emperor!

The Jade Emperor, by the way, is the leader of the Heavenly Court. In Chinese mythology, unlike many religions, being a god doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a good or virtuous person, it just means you got a promotion. Essentially it’s like being a government worker. 

There is sometimes discussion on whether the Emperor in the myth is the Heavenly Emperor or the Jade Emperor. They're usually considered different people, with the Jade Emperor being an underling of the Heavenly Emperor, but the exact details get foggy. For the purposes of storytelling, I will assume the Emperor in this story is the Jade Emperor.

Ne Zha says, oh shit what do I do, and goes to his Master Taiyi for help. With an invisibility spell Master Taiyi gave him, he goes to Ao Guang’s house and kicks his ass.

Ao Guang, feeling thoroughly wronged, gathers the other three dragon kings of the North, South and West China Seas respectively and decides they’re going to sue Ne Zha and his family in front of the Jade Emperor. 

Lady Yin, Ne Zha’s mom, tells him to chill the fuck out and sits him in their house’s backyard. Ne Zha, thoroughly bored, decides he’s going to do some archery practice with some fancy bows and arrows, which are all inscribed with their family name.

He uses the literal Emperor’s bow and arrow, which were stored there for safekeeping and were unliftable like Thor’s hammer or Excalibur, and casually shoots an arrow up into a cave and kills the disciple of a lady named 石矶娘娘 Lady Stone Spirit.

Lady Stone Spirit kidnaps Ne Zha’s dad after recognising the name on the arrow, and Li Jing is like, yo I’m nowhere strong enough to use that bow and arrow, let me go back home so I can find the true culprit.

Eventually they find out it’s Ne Zha, and Ne Zha flips on Lady Stone Spirit. Master Taiyi eventually kills Lady Stone Spirit for him after Ne Zha loses his weapons. 

Master Taiyi then says, oops, remember Ao Guang, that dragon king you pissed off? Well, he’s back and he’s pissed, and he’s got the Jade Emperor on his side. Ao Guang vows he’ll take revenge for his son and his dignity on Chentang Pass and Ne Zha’s parents.

Li Jing, who’s a bit of a dick father, is royally pissed off at Ne Zha. He’s always been very strict on Ne Zha, and has never liked him much, and basically tells Ne Zha to go fuck himself. Ne Zha, who’s mischievous but responsible, decides he’s going to save his family.

In quite possibly the most gruesome children’s tale you’ve ever heard, in order to pay his parents back for birthing him, he cuts all the flesh off his own bones and then cuts his own bones up as penance and to satisfy the dragon king’s wrath. Metal.

Excuse this blurry image- it's hard to find the exact scene in 4k.

Ne Zha’s wandering spirit tells his grieving mother to build him a temple and try to get him a new body, so she does. The temple goes viral, and Li Jing finds out and smashes everything. Ne Zha is like, what the fuck was that for? Now father and son properly hate each other.

Master Taiyi, this story’s MVP, builds Ne Zha a new body out of lotus roots, and he is reborn in a lotus flower. That’s why he’s sometimes called Ne Zha the lotus prince, and why he’s commonly associated with lotus flowers and lotus roots.

Master Taiyi gives him two new weapons: the 火尖枪, Fire-tipped Spear, a spear that shoots fire, and the 风火轮: Wheels of Wind and Fire, which are basically flying roller skates in the shape of two gold wheels.

Look at that, so fashionable.

Ne Zha tries to go and beat up his asshole father, and Li Jing quickly realises he’s about to get his ass kicked by his pissed-off deified son. Remember when I said Ne Zha absorbed his brothers Water and Fire in the womb?

Because of this, he can now manifest four more arms and two more heads whenever he wants to become 三头六臂哪吒, Ne Zha of Three Heads and Six Arms. Sick.

The Jade Emperor decides enough is enough after seeing Ne Zha beat his dad up a million times. He goes to the Buddha for help, and the Buddha gives Li Jing a mini pagoda which can trap any demon, monster or spirit within it. Li Jing becomes a deity referred to as the Pagoda-Bearing Lord, and Ne Zha is forced to chill out on the patricide.

This is how the tale is known in popular culture, mostly because of a 1979 movie, produced by Shanghai Animation, which changed the original tale quite a bit. I've been using many images from the 1979 Ne Zha.

Movie name: Ne Zha Conquers the Sea, otherwise known as Murder Toddler Terrorizes Local Aquatic Ecosystem

For one, in the movie, Ao Guang and Ao Bing are evil oppressors who eat the children of Chentang Pass. Additionally, details are known differently across different iterations of the myth. For example, in Journey to the West, Ne Zha gets his name because it’s literally written on his hands when he’s born.

Since Ne Zha flies around so quickly on his Wheels of Wind and Fire roller skates, people sometimes see him as a patron deity of racing. If they ever make another Fast and Furious they should give him a cameo.

He is so famous that he’s had like a billion animated movies, stage plays and children’s books written about him. Traditionally, he’s depicted as a kid about seven to ten years old, on his roller skate wheels, holding his staff, with his ring turned into a gold bracelet he wears on his wrist and his red sash flying behind him. He has quite the iconic hairstyle: two space buns!

He’s such an iconic figure in Chinese culture: recent media has included him in many iterations.

Gaming fans will recognise him from Black Myth: Wukong as the aura-farming red fire dude with sick eyeliner and space buns.

I am not gonna lie this is probably the coolest design of Ne Zha I've ever seen.

The most iconic version of him is probably the 1979 version, though the recent Ne Zha movies from 2019 and 2025 are arguably just as popular now.

There was a 2021 movie called New Gods: Nezha Reborn that is a separate adaptation from Ne Zha 2019 and Ne Zha 2 2025, which was kind of a mid movie but worth a watch. 

Several of the adaptations of Ne Zha that have become iconic:

Ne Zha 2019 ^ in his child form

Ne Zha from Fei Ren Zai (非人哉), a comedy series about mythological characters in modern China ^

The Legend of Ne Zha from 2003, a children's TV series ^

Child and Adult (reincarnated in modern world) versions of Ne Zha in 2021 New Gods Reborn: Ne Zha ^

Sometimes though he’s depicted as a teenager. All in all, since he died young, he’s generally never seen as an adult. Occasionally you’ll see him described as male body with a female face, basically meaning he’s super cute. Note that this doesn’t mean transgender or nonbinary as it’s often known in English, which was not a concept in ancient China. 

Oftentimes the media involving him will include jokes of him being mistaken for a girl because he’s a kid with a pretty face.

Eventually Ne Zha becomes an official of the Heavenly Court, a marshall in the army. As I mentioned, he fights for the eventual King Wu of Zhou who overthrows King Zhou of Shang and creates the Zhou dynasty, making him a good guy despite his… concerning childhood. 

Writing the entire myth out in English makes Ne Zha seem like a psychopath from birth, but his story is honestly more about a kid causing shenanigans and being forced to pay for it tragically. He’s really quite a victim, if you can believe it. Imagine a toddler born with Hulk-strength who accidentally smashes a few vases and is beaten for it.

Ne Zha 2019 was super popular, and without spoiling too much, Ao Bing became a super polite and likeable young master instead of the classic villain character he is, and aside from being HOT, he and Ne Zha became friends instead of plucking tendons. No tendon-plucking involved. They also change Ne Zha’s story quite a bit, but not enough that he becomes unrecognisable.

Ne Zha 2019 promotional poster ^

This is Ao Bing (the third dragon prince) in the 1979 movie as a villain.

In contrast, this is Ao Bing from Ne Zha 2019 and 2025. Quite the difference, right?

Adult Ne Zha from the Ne Zha 2019 movie

Ne Zha 2, released in 2025 and currently still airing, is now the eighth-highest grossing movie of all time and China’s biggest-ever film. It’s genuinely quite an incredible film, and is worthy of being the biggest animated movie of all time.

I recommend everyone go watch it even if you don’t know Chinese: it’s super funny and the visuals are astounding. Obviously it’s not perfect, and there are a lot of problems with it, but I don’t know, I’m still a big fan. For being made on such a small budget, it somehow manages to outdo Hollywood animation on sheer spectacle. If you can get IMAX tickets, get them!

If there is no other reason, watch the movie for Ao Guang, Ao Bing's dad. Remember the fugly old dragon from the 1979 version?

Well, this is him now. Talk about a glow-up. No joke, when he appeared on screen the entire movie theatre gasped out loud.

By the way, if you were wondering where Ne Zha falls on the timeline in relation to our friend Wukong, Ne Zha was born several thousand years before Wukong burst out of his rock. As such, when Wukong encounters him and *ahem* kicks his ass *ahem*, Ne Zha is already a deity working for the Heavenly Court. 

SHORT STORY/ONE-SHOT/ONE CHAPTER/COMICS 101 CRASH COURSE RAPIDPUNCHES’ STYLE

I’m NOT an expert but I have some working experience I can share. You need experience to become great. Here is my set of instructions, tips, and notes towards making a 12-page comic.

My method is to work backwards. Personally I work “backwards” because the end is the only wholly necessary page or set of panels in the story. Everything in between is open to editing and hacking as the most important moments are emphasized and chosen.

I even plan/draw the end page first. The end is the last page a reader sees- so spend your freshest energies on making it as epic, memorable, poignant, and beautiful as #$%^&.

If you draw the pages from 1 to 12 sequentially you run the risk of fresh to burnt out- an uneven distribution of drawing skill. (treat the first page and the 2-page splash as you would the last).

Roughly… the steps to making your comic is

WRITE

PLAN THUMBNAILS

DRAW

…BEGIN THE WRITING (DO NOT SKIP NO MATTER WHAT) like this, in this order:

How does it end?

Does the protag succeed or fail?

What is the turning point of their story?

What the protag do that led them there?

Where does it start?

Who is this protag?

EXAMPLE:

Guy gets mauled by a bear.

This is a fail on the guy’s half.

The bear must eat something or he’ll starve to death.

It’s the guy’s fault the bear can’t find other food. He caused the avalanche that buried all the cabins.

The guy is yodeling in an avalanche zone.

The guy is some guy.

CREATING “THE BEAT SHEET” Take the above stuff and reorder it to make sense.

This guy yodels.

Echoes roll.

Snow slides down.

Avalanche buries the mountain.

Cabins are engulfed.

This bear has no access to cabin food and garbage.

Bear eats this guy.

Expand. Blow up important beats for emphasis. Keep less important beats brief.

This guy is hiking in the snowy mountains.

He comes across an avalanche warning sign.

There is nobody around but him.

A dumb expression forms over his face and he yodels.

Echoes roll but nothing nearby is moved.

At the top of the mountain the snow drifts twitch.

Guy, satisfied, hikes away from there still yodeling.

Frozen snow cracks.

Snow puffs billow and great slabs of ice crash down the mountain side.

Guy sees this and hightails it to safer ground.

Animals, people, are all panicking and getting pushed over by the rushing snow.

Cabins are destroyed.

The guy takes cover by an outcropping of rocks, fastens himself securely to the rock face, and waits for the avalanche to die down.

Avalanche dies down.

A lone bear shambles over from the other side of the mountain.

The bear goes to where a cabin used to be (only roof tiles are left). Bear sniffs a dish satellite.

Bear forlornly eats a food wrapper.

Bear tries to dig.

Guy comes down from the rocks he as climbing and sees bear.

Bear stops digging and sees him.

Guy runs.

Bear chases him down.

Bear eats the guy.

BEAT SHEET COMPLETED!!!

After the beat sheet, write up all the sound effects and speech bubbles and conversation/dialogue you want to be in your comic.

Since comics are a visual medium, highest priority is given to the beats. If a story can’t be told with the art without the dialogue– you messed up and it’s time to rethink your life choices.

Try to keep all your text chunks as short as a tweet. Professionally you don’t want more than 25 words per speech bubble and no more than 250 words per page.

Next is translating the beats to pages…

STRUCTURE OVERVIEW:

[1] point of entry, in media res, hero intro

[2][3] conflict. establish conflict, setting, and mood by the third page. [4][5] rising action/false resolution to conflict/investigation

[6][7] turning point/plot twist/epiphany (this one epic image, to page spread is pivotal, spend a lot of effort into creating this)

[8][9] aftermath/“darkness before dawn”/struggle [10][11] recovery/“rise and conquer”/“fall”

[12] resolution/final end/cliffhanger

[front cover][interior] [interior][back cover]

——————–

My maximum per page is nine panels but I’ve seen pages that have way more. I like to have about 3 to 4 panels per row or less but I’ve seen the “rules” broken before. Advanced comic book artists manipulate time with the number of panels and the size of each panel.

remember, DIAGONALS!!! open up an issue of batman, superman, spider man, deadpool or whatever youre reading theyre everywhere.

———-

…DRAW IN THIS ORDER:

Page 12,

Page 6 and 7 (this is typically one large image that takes up the space of two pages),

Page 1,

and then the rest.

ONLY “DEVIATION” ALLOWED:

Page 12 and 1*

Page 6 and 7,

and then the rest.

*Draw the first and last page as a spread in situations where the beginning of the story mirrors the end of the story.

Cover is dead last.

———-

(If at the very end you find out you need more pages and it’s absolutely unavoidable and totally necessary you have to add them in fours. Try to stick to 12 pages for this crash course.)

——————–

FURTHER NOTES:

Plan and draw the pages in spreads (the twos) since this is how it will appear in print and when you submit them to an editor for review guess what, the pages with an exception to the first and last will be reviewed as spreads.

You at most only need one establishing panel of the setting and environment (scene) per page.

Forget “true to life” perspective outside of the establishing panel). Practice diagonal composition of objects and subjects within panels. For dynamism.

You don’t have to present the text all in one go (one paragraph or bubble). You can and should break up paragraphs, sentences, and if you need to single out words– to make smaller, more easily managed bubbles to scatter through the panel.

Less important moments have smaller panels and or lesser detail. More details (or more word bubbles) slow down time. More drawn detail also creates a concentration of values (it’s darker and sometimes combines together as one shape or mass)

Know your light sources. Control the blacks. Control the values.

TIPS | COFFEE? :3 | dA | IG |  ♡ |  ❤ |  ⋆

At the time of this reblog, it can be purchased for $0 with a fair price request of $3.

The first of these changes is in the very first line. You might be inclined to suppose that, over the course of nearly half a millennium, we must have reached a consensus on the English equivalent for an old Greek word, polytropos. But to consult Wilson’s 60 some predecessors, living and dead, is to find that consensus has been hard to come by…

Of the 60 or so answers to the polytropos question to date, the 36 given above [which I cut because there were a lot] couldn’t be less uniform (the two dozen I omit repeat, with minor variations, earlier solutions); what unites them is that their translators largely ignore the ambiguity built into the word they’re translating. Most opt for straightforward assertions of Odysseus’s nature, descriptions running from the positive (crafty, sagacious, versatile) to the negative (shifty, restless, cunning). Only Norgate (“of many a turn”) and Cook (“of many turns”) preserve the Greek roots as Wilson describes them — poly(“many”), tropos (“turn”) — answers that, if you produced them as a student of classics, much of whose education is spent translating Greek and Latin and being marked correct or incorrect based on your knowledge of the dictionary definitions, would earn you an A. But to the modern English reader who does not know Greek, does “a man of many turns” suggest the doubleness of the original word — a man who is either supremely in control of his life or who has lost control of it? Of the existing translations, it seems to me that none get across to a reader without Greek the open question that, in fact, is the opening question of the “Odyssey,” one embedded in the fifth word in its first line: What sort of man is Odysseus?

“I wanted there to be a sense,” Wilson told me, that “maybe there is something wrong with this guy. You want to have a sense of anxiety about this character, and that there are going to be layers we see unfolded. We don’t quite know what the layers are yet. So I wanted the reader to be told: be on the lookout for a text that’s not going to be interpretively straightforward.”

Here is how Wilson’s “Odyssey” begins. Her fifth word is also her solution to the Greek poem’s fifth word — to polytropos:

Tell me about a complicated man. Muse, tell me how he wandered and was lost when he had wrecked the holy town of Troy, and where he went, and who he met, the pain he suffered in the storms at sea, and how he worked to save his life and bring his men back home. He failed to keep them safe; poor fools, they ate the Sun God’s cattle, and the god kept them from home. Now goddess, child of Zeus, tell the old story for our modern times. Find the beginning.

When I first read these lines early this summer in The Paris Review, which published an excerpt, I was floored. I’d never read an “Odyssey” that sounded like this. It had such directness, the lines feeling not as if they were being fed into iambic pentameter because of some strategic decision but because the meter was a natural mode for its speaker. The subtle sewing through of the fittingly wavelike W-words in the first half (“wandered … wrecked … where … worked”) and the stormy S-words that knit together the second half, marrying the waves to the storm in which this man will suffer, made the terse injunctions to the muse that frame this prologue to the poem (“Tell me about …” and “Find the beginning”) seem as if they might actually answer the puzzle posed by Homer’s polytropos and Odysseus’s complicated nature.

Complicated: the brilliance of Wilson’s choice is, in part, its seeming straightforwardness. But no less than that of polytropos, the etymology of “complicated” is revealing. From the Latin verb complicare, it means “to fold together.” No, we don’t think of that root when we call someone complicated, but it’s what we mean: that they’re compound, several things folded into one, difficult to unravel, pull apart, understand.

“It feels,” I told Wilson, “with your choice of ‘complicated,’ that you planted a flag.”

“It is a flag,” she said.

“It says, ‘Guess what?’ — ”

“ ‘ — this is different.’ ”