following deer

for me, the divine has always felt feminine or neutral and even with saints i feel more comfortable with female ones.

i'm not sure why this is because i'm male myself, maybe due to growing up around conservative christianity and the association with god as male?

i go every year and it always reaffirms my passion for including indigenous american spirituality in my practice. connecting with all of my ancestors, including my native ones, is so important to me.

my grandma asked me if i talked to God and i told her i try, but i don't as much as i should. she doesnt know that i didn't believe in God for a long time (and that im still not sure if i do) but it was nice to be able to honestly say i do try to talk to God.

i have a very persistent ice chewing compulsion that i just can't break. my front tooth has been chipped and i've likely damaged more doing this but i just can't get myself to stop. it started when i was anemic years ago (i'm not anymore) but i think its evolved into a coping mechanism for anxiety and sensory issues.

if you're pagan and feel comfortable doing so, please pray to lady brigid or mother nature/whatever earth personification you may believe in.

if you're not, i would appreciate any prayers to god or whomever you believe in. manifestation & general positive vibes are also very much appreciated.

i bought a candle, la virgen de la milagrosa (our lady of miracles), lit it, and prayed for a solution.