Have I read any of the DC comics? No. Have I hyperfixated on Batman specifically because I saw a TikTok with an AI voiceover that was originally from Tumblr? Yes. Did I go back to Tumblr again for it? Yes. Yes I did.
The massive backyard of the manor has been neglected for a while, due to Gotham being insane and no one having time to pay attention to it
Bruce looks out his window and grimaces at the tall grass, weeds, and vines growing out of control. He knows most of his children are adults and don’t live with him, but he can’t help but worry that they might get hurt if they go out into the backyard
There could be snakes, spiders, sharp rocks, and anything else that would range from mildly inconvenient to a sudden trip to the doctor
So, he makes the best decision in his life (according to Damian)
One day, in the early morning, a large trailer comes rolling up to the Wayne property, and Bruce opens the side gate for them to come around back
Damian watches in boredom as his father talks with the man who owns the truck, knowing nothing of what is about to happen, before watching as the back is unlatched and opened
Suddenly, there are like 40 goats spreading across the property and getting to work, chewing away leisurely, and bleeting as they explore the property
Bruce has never seen Damian's face light up so brightly, and seen him move so fast to scramble outside and pet as many goats as he could get his hands on
Damian begs his dad to let the lawn get overgrown again so he can see the goats, which he already named half, and Bruce promises to let it happen every once in a while
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Bruce remembers the first time Dick got sick with him.
More accurately, he vividly remembers how the little squirt transferred his stomach bug over to him after he got better, and Bruce was left feeling as though he was on death’s door.
He’s been poisoned and has poisoned himself for training, but nothing felt as bad as that stomach bug.
He had heard over his peruse of the internet that kids and seen parents playfully complain that their kids always give them the strongest version of whatever virus they're dealing with. He thought it was a cute little joke
Now he couldn't breathe through his nose, and his everything hurts so fucking bad
The worst part is that he still has to be a parent while all he wants to do is curl up in bed and die immediately. Dick, unfortunately, made the speediest recovery and regained his boundless energy, and absolutely needed Bruce to play with him like usual
The next time Dick got sick, Bruce took all the precautions that he could in order not to get himself infected again (it didn’t work)
Ghostbat mermaid AU where bruce grew up as a human but is actually a mermaid. He lives near the beach and sometimes goes sailing just to get away from it all. He goes swimming and one day he ends up in an impromptu seemingly one sided swim race with some guy he can only see the top half of. Presuming it’s probably just some tourist he gets a bit competitive and actually manages to win. He turns back to see the other guy and sees… not quite human eyes staring back at him as a grin with too sharp teeth spreads across the man’s face. He blinks. and then the man is gone with only a ripple left in the water of where he used to be.
And then the rest is just Khoa as a mermaid being an absolute menace whenever Bruce decides to go sailing. And trying to communicate that Bruce is a mermaid by… repeatedly nearly drowning the man. He ends up giving up and just hangs out with Bruce after. Sometimes Bruce brings a sketchbook to draw the birds and fish and then Khoa will chase away said birds and fish so Bruce can draw him instead. Very nice of you Khoa yes you look very pretty stop trying to take the portrait with you it’s not waterproof you egomaniac.
Potentially for that extra bit of drama You could even throw in a plot of Khoa sinking ships who fish illegally. Or Bruce meeting Luka whose on the hunt for whatever’s been sinking ships and then Khoa killing Luka in front of Bruce after Bruce had grappled the harpoon gun away from Luka and shot him with it. Que Bruce and Khoa having a break up Mermaid edition.
You want a happy ending ya gonna have to think of one yourself I only got this far in my musings.
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When Clark sees Bruce without his cowl for the first time and see his sad eyes rimmed with streaking black liner, he almost busts in his pants instantly.
Years of pining for the Bat, and now that he could finally fill that blank in his fantasies, he couldn’t help but drop to his knees instantly.
Bruce doesn’t say anything, just lets the Man of Steel nuzzle his face into his stomach as he holds him tight. His fingers combing through his neat curls.
Bruce loves to pretend like he isn’t interested in the bulky, awkward, reporter from Metropolis. He acted as if he didn’t search for him at every gala and event or only ever accept interviews from him alone.
Bruce’s ice gray eyes followed the large man as he stumbled around the beautifully decorated gala space. He looked so out of place, but the idea of him not being there made Bruce’s heart clench.
“Clark!” A melodic, feminine, voice called from the bar, making both men turn. Clark let out a sigh of relief, as if this woman was everything he’d been searching for. It made Bruce’s jaw clench as he watched them meet in the middle, all smiles and jokes.
He couldn’t hear their conversation from where he stood, so he moved closer. Pretending to join a small group of older women in their conversation about that year’s group of Gotham debutantes.
“I told you to stay close! For a man your size, you sure do get lost easy.” Clark scratched the back of his neck as the woman swatted his shoulder playfully. He’s never lost for me. Bruce thought to himself. I always know where he is. “Sorry, Lois. I was trying to find someone to interview so we could leave but then I got pulled around by some older women.” He chuckled, opening his notepad to recite what’d he gotten so far.
This woman, Lois, seemed more interested in their work than Clark himself. Which helped Bruce’s growing agitation at not having his full attention as he always did during these events. “You’ve always been a magnet for these women.” She joked. Bruce didn’t listen to the rest of their conversation as his eyes zoned in on the way her hand lingered on Clark’s arm.
It was too much. Not even Bruce had allowed himself such pleasures.
Without another thought, he excused himself from the group of ladies and walked over to the reporters. His hands clenched open and closed at his sides, trying to keep himself composed.
“Mr. Kent! I wasn’t sure you’d be coming tonight!” He gave him his classic Brucie smile, grabbing him by the upper arm and subtly—not so subtly—yanking him away from Lois’s touch. Clark, none the wiser, blushed and smiled at the man. “Mr. Wayne, it’s a pleasure to see you, as always.” His awkwardness made Bruce preen like a bird, especially the light blush on his cheeks.
He wanted—needed—him in ways he’d never wanted another.
“Ms. Lane, bother if I steal him from you?” He asked her kindly as if his grip wasn’t like a python around Clark’s bicep. Lois, ever the smartest woman in the room, smirked up at her friend before nodding at the billionaire that had staked his claim so openly. “Of course not! Take him all night if you want!” She winked, not getting to blink before Clark was getting dragged away down a dark corridor.
I want Bruce to burst out crying every time he sees a baby on the street. Like, inconsolable sobbing. Each time.
And if he's with one of his children during these episodes, he would look at them with the saddest, tear-filled eyes saying "I'm so sad I didn't get to see you like this" and it kind of makes them guilty? Bruce doesn't mean to make them guilty, but he has such sad eyes. Other times they'd be saying "If I can't see you like this, at least give me a grandchild."
No one knows how or why this started. All they know is that Bruce, since meeting Damian, has just been having baby fever. But it was never to the point of bursting out in tears in public before.
On a totally unrelated note, Bruce unexpectedly gives birth in the bath tub and is crying alongside his new baby because ohmygodmybabyissocutethey'resolittleandtinyandcute.
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Thinking of a college superbat au where Clark and Bruce have a required humanities class together and are paired up for the remainder of the semester.
Things obviously start on the wrong foot because everyone knows the Wayne Heir, either as the most annoying know-it-all in the engineering department or as the life of the party. And Clark wants nothing to do with an engineering student who couldn't care less for ethics.
Worse yet, when they first plan to meet up, not only is Bruce a no-show, but he also yells at Clark when he calls Bruce. Yet there he was Friday night —two days after they were supposed to meet up — at Diana's party, doing a keg stand as the crowd chanted "CHUG!" CHUG! CHUG!
Clark doesn't care about him though, he's only here for Lois. He was gonna ask her out tonight; he had already bought tickets to the panel the Communications department had somehow convinced Vickie Vale to attend. They would get dinner beforehand and get ice cream later while gushing over Vale's articles.
It was going to be perfect.
Except when Clark had decided he was loose enough from the alcohol and so it was the perfect time to ask, Bruce came crashing at Clark as though they were best of friends. An arm slung around Clark's shoulder as he pressed against him. Jimmy winced next to Clark in condolence as Bruce began openly flirting with Lois. Much to Clark's relief, Lois didn't reciprocate--in fact she excused herself to find Diana.
And there went his chance, but at least they weren't completely stolen.
Bruce didn't seem to mind, though, eyes wandering as if trying to find someone. When he found whatever it was he was looking for, he pulled back from Clark, looking apologetic.
"Hey, sorry about Wednesday, you just caught me at a bad time."
Clark rolled his eyes, " No, my bad. I shouldn't have presumed that our agreed-upon time would be a bad time for you. "
Bruce winced, "I'll make it up to you."
"Save it, Wayne, just show up and do the presentations, I'll take care of the rest."
"I'm not gonna coast this class on your work."
"Well, if your booty calls get--"
"Tell you what, you stop spewing nonsense, and I'll get a date with Lois for you."
Clark stopped, stunned. "What?"
Bruce smirked, "What? You thought it wasn't obvious?"
Clark reddened further; Bruce started grinning, "Bonus, I'll coach you on wooing her so hard, she won't even notice the rug being pulled."
Clark shook his head, "Lois is not a-- she's not like that."
"Oh sweetheart, I only meant I'd teach you how to romance her, but if you want those other lessons--"
"Fine! If you can get me a date, we can start over."
"Deal."
But before Bruce spun away into the party, he said winking, "Pick me up at 7 tomorrow; I need to know what I'm working with. "
And then they basically start practice dating to get Clark caught to speed on college dating, except they start falling for each other on the way.
Bonus Drama: Khoa was breaking up with Bruce(another off again situation) the day Clark yelled on call. Bruce basically had Clark date him just so Khoa would get jealous. Clark doesn't realize he's being used until he goes to Bruce's apt to confess to Bruce.
Only to find Khoa connoring Bruce and telling him, "You think I didn't know you were hanging around that country pumpkin to get me jealous?"
Clark bolts, never having felt more embarrassed, so he never hears Bruce say, "It started that way, yes. But you and I, Khoa? We are done. I love Clark."
No thoughts but Bruce waking up one morning after patrol, heading downstairs in his slippers and PJs, looking for a cup of coffee and some breakfast before work. The kids are up, Bruce can hear them getting up or moving around downstairs, all is as it should be. Roy is coming out of Jason's room, heading for the showers by the looks of it. Bruce doesn't remember seeing him on patrol last night, huh, he must have crashed last night or something. Wally wishes him a good morning from inside Dick's room, still wrapped up in the comforter and Bruce just grunts because its too early in the morning. Bruce heads down to the kitchen, where Alfred puts a coffee and pastry into his hand with a 'good morning'. Kon is sat at the end of the kitchen island, wearing what looks like one of Bruce's old t-shirts that Bruce is sure he gave to Tim, sipping a cup of coffee while Tim rifles through the basket of pastries. Steph appears, full bed head in tow, hand in hand with an equally yawning Kara. Those four are getting loud and Bruce just wants to enjoy his breakfast in peace, he heads out to the patio where he says good morning to Pa Kent who is tending to the vegetable garden while Alfred keeps him company. When Bruce has enough, he heads back upstairs and gets back into the bed, cuddling into Khoa.
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The concept of people in league disliking batman even if they respect him as leader or team mate makes me so sad
Bc like yeah he is not liked there
But he is needed there
And this is enough for Bruce to just keep showing up 😞
Bro would keep showing up even if antagonized by others simply because if there is mission and someone dies he will blame himself for it still
Ugh my fave angst 🫶❤️
I will spend whole night thinking how different leaguers would react to finding out their beloved Brucie is the big bad bat
forever a fan of this trope it'll kill me one day
But with a twist:
"Bruce?"
It was him, his name, said so softly in the watchtower's halls in casual conversation. Batman resisted the urge to snap his head in the direction of Superman's voice, even if it was his name, it wasn't him Clark was calling for.
Batman's hands didn't stop working, he stayed hunched over his work table.
"he's...Lovely" Clark said "you know how he is"
Diana laughed, like she understood, like this was a joke they shared
A joke Batman- Bruce- wasn't privy to. Their third of the trinity
"a little airheaded sometimes, but it's cute."
This he knows, Clark told him so, just not the airheaded part.
"He can be a little simple at times, Kal, but I don't think he's airheaded."
Batman's hands shook slightly, he didn't stop working
"he's charming, and a good conversation partner" Diana praised him, he thinks " If you know which topic to pick, of course"
Batman's hands were too shaky to work more. He needed to stop
