Couldnāt sleep and was thinking about how Dick is Clarkās first son:
Dick couldnāt sleep. His mind kept replaying the past fourteen hours and the same five seconds that changed his life ten years ago. He was well into his teens nowāthought he could hand anything that came at him.
But he was wrong. He couldnāt handle the sight of Bruce holding Clarkās limp body in his arms as he tried not to cry. He couldnāt handle having to pull Bruce off his other fatherās body so that the rest of the league could help.
He couldnāt handle losing another parent and watching his only living one fall apart.
The moon felt too bright as it cast into his room. Clark recovered in no time, having Jāonn look him over before and while he spent time under the leagues yellow sun beams. Clark was now safely back home, insisting that what he really needed was his family. Everyone had gone back to their respective cities or apartments, but Dick had stayed. Even Damian had opted to stay with John at the Kent farm for the weekend.
Dick couldnāt go though. He knew he had duties to attend to: files to run through, cases to close, people to help, but his mind and heart werenāt in the right place to focus on that.
He wasnāt Nightwing tonight. He was Dick Grayson. Son of Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent, and not even twenty four hours ago he had held his super powered fatherās cold hand in his own after having lived his life up until now believing that heād live forever. It was daunting remembering that no matter how alien Clark was, he could still die.
Dick let out a tired sigh as he shifted onto his back, staring up at the glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling. Clark had bought them and helped him set them up ages ago when heād just moved into the manor. Back then, Clark and Bruce hadnāt been together yet. Clark, however, had been his father ever since.
There was a small knock on the door, startling him out of the memory of Clark carrying him up and floating them laying down so that itād be more comfortable to stick the stars. Dick would giggle at the fact that they were floating and Clark would only smile fondly at him as if the world had finally reached its peace. āDick? Can I come in?ā Clark whispered through the door. Dick didnāt say anything for a beat before humming. It wasnāt loud, and if it werenāt for Clarkās super hearing, he wouldāve never heard it.
āHey, bud. Canāt sleep?ā He asked as he sat on the edge of the bed, back facing the moon light. Dick didnāt respond, not knowing how to tell him how he felt. It had never been difficult to express himself with Clark, if anything, itād always been the easiest thing. Clark was always so understanding and was ready to comfort or help when it was needed.
Dick shook his head, āI donāt know.ā Clark couldnāt read minds, but sometimes he was so perceptive that Dick couldnāt help but wonder. āI didnāt mean to scare you guys.ā Dick had turned to face the window now, not being able to look at Clark as the imagine of his pale face still haunted his every blink. āYou didnāt.ā He tried to reassure,but Clark was too smart, noticed too much. āI did. Scaring you two is the last thing I would ever wish for. Iām sorry.ā
The room was so silent that Dick could hear the swishing of Clarkās fingers carding through his hair. It was a soothing method heād done for him since he was a kid and would hurt himself attempting a new stunt. Clark would hold him close to his chest, ear pressed against his beating heart, and run his fingers through his hair until the tears and sniffles stopped.
āSeeing you like that was terrifying.ā Dick finally admitting, sitting up as Clarkās fingers fell from his hair. āI thought you- I didnāt want you to-ā he couldnāt bring himself to say it out loud, scared that if his biggest fears were spoken aloud, theyād come true.
Without another word, Clark pulled him into his embrace, holding him as close as he did when he was a kid. Clark was a large man, but Dick was a teenager now. He didnāt get picked up and held like this anymore. He hadnāt realized how much he needed to be in his fatherās hold again.
The tears started before he could register them. He gripped onto Clarkās t-shirt collar tightly. āIām okay. I promise Iām not going anywhere where you canāt find me.ā Clark spoke softly, rocking them back and forth as he held Dickās head under his chin. āA child should never see their parents like that, especially not as much as you have, my boy wonder.ā He placed a chaste kiss on the crown of his head. Dick didnāt say another word, reveling in his fatherās warmth and strength.
Nothing could hurt him here. Nothing could take this from him again.
āDo you want me to stay?ā Clark asked, noticing that Dickās grip on him wasnāt going to let up any time soon. Not that he minded, he missed when their children were small enough to hold and young enough to not feel embarrassed to ask for it. Dick would always be his baby, no matter how big he got.
Dick nodded into his shoulder, letting Clark lay them down so that he was laid on top of him like old times.
āI love you, dickie.ā Clark whispered into the night, running his hands through his sonās dark strands again. āI love you too, pops.ā
And once again, Dick was just a boy wanting to be held by his father. Reminded that Clark would be there whenever and however he needed.