Silence

Intervention

Here's the thing about the 1980s. Everything was swept under the rug. Nothing was talked about. Or acknowledged. Or dealt with. People minded their business, which included their own families. People knew things, but they never directly discussed or talked about them publicly. A man would never tell another man how to raise his kids or speak to his woman.

Depending on who Neil is in the community, no one would dare criticize him. You could argue that maybe Hopper did his best at one point? My idea to make this role reversal fun fits the characters differently. You asked me to keep the same family dynamics as canon, so that's the only thing I'm treating as concrete.

Neil is still an abusive piece of shit, but a different status in town would change the way the abuse manifests. More details below.

Moment of silence

A moment of silence please, as we mourn for Billy's 80s rock hair. Bye bye Billy's beautiful luscious curls. You were beautiful in canon, but it is AU time.

The Car (RIP Camaro)

No one is more sad about the loss of Lenore than I, gentle reader. Sadly, we're also saying goodbye to the Camaro. It's too loud and too flashy.

But Billy is a good midwest American boy. He'd end up with a respectable car that doesn't make so much noise. No more of that loud bullshit.

Oh... what about a 1981 Chrysler Imperial?

Billy's home life

Let's start with the same family dynamics. Billy's mother is out of the picture. Billy was born and raised in Hawkins and currently lives with Neil, his step mother, Susan, and his sister, Max.

Actually, for this AU, fuck it! Max is Neil's biological daughter and he married Susan because she got pregnant and he couldn't just abandon her. What type of man would do something so terrible? Not Neil. He's responsible and a good man. A pillar of the community.

So he ruined his first wife's reputation so completely that she just disappeared one day, paving the way for his divorce and subsequent marriage to Susan.

(Ignore Will Chase's tattoos, lol)

That's right baby, Billy and Max are half siblings, but Max doesn't know that. She thinks they're just siblings. Since the divorce, Billy has been forced to treat Susan as his mother. He calls her mom. Acts as though she is his mother in every way. Billy was 3 when Susan got pregnant and 4 when Max was born. He's been there through it all and has been stuck looking after her from the start. It's all he knows.

To make this more fun, let's say that Neil is of some importance in Hawkins. Let's make him the Mayor, why not. It would change the expectations and give the Hargove family a prominent place in the community. Not quite rich like the Harrington's in OG canon, but influential all the same.

Let's say that the year all this happens, Neil is running for the U.S. Senate or something. The politics don't have to be important, but I love me some political maneuvering and scheming.

Might not be the vibe you're going for, so ignore the details. Let me establish set pieces. Trust the vision.

Billy himself

Billy's core personality is the same, but his coping mechanisms and masks are different. Rather than presenting as he does in the show, he would look different and stick more to the cultural ideals in the Midwest.

Given that his personality is the same, Billy is a smart, highly sensitive, intuitive, misunderstood, and emotional teenager who has had a poor role model an has therefore learned a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms. He's passionate and deeply flawed. But in this, he is not angry. He's anxious. Rather than lashing out, yelling to starting fights, he shuts down. He is self destructive at a lower volume. Disassociation episodes, self medicates with drugs and alcohol, panic attacks.

Neil wants Billy to be strong young man who presents well and is capable of of moving through social circles with grace and elegance. Billy needs to be a politician. No one can know what he's thinking. He cannot compromise Neil's standing in the community. After all, Neil is up for the US Senate this year and Billy needs to be on his best behavior and cannot ruin his father's political ambitions. Neil is a family man and his family is part of his brand. They all need to stay in line.

Billy is always in the public eye. He is a core part of Neil's brand. He's a public figure in Hawkins as much as his father and represents everything Neil wants to bring from Hawkins to broader Indiana and the country.

Billy would use different masks and personas. He tries so hard to make his father happy, to be the man he wants him to be. Instead of going against his father, Billy is actively chasing after his father's love and approval. He wants that pat on the head, he wants to be told that he's loved, that he's enough. He pretends to be straight, he really, really does. He plays the role well enough. Has a girlfriend, shows up to all the events his father needs him at, is put together, well dressed, well spoken. He is charming and brilliant. He knows when to flirt, when to flatter, when to play dumb.

But, it's all an act. His life is an act.

Billy looks and acts perfect.

And it's still not enough.

Nothing is enough for Neil.

All eyes are on them. They are the family that represents Hawkins. Neil does still abuse Billy and does so much the way we see in canon. Physically threatens him, uses physical abuse that will not leave behind marks, and turns the verbally abusive up to 11. He ridicules Billy for being such a failure and for being such a pussy and acting like a queer.

And let's not forget, Neil Hargrove's A+ emotionally abusive tendencies that he uses on the whole family. In public, they present as the perfect family, put together, loving, and perfectly functional. But behind closed doors?

The Hargrove Family

Billy is an overachiever and believes that he can always be better. There's always something he can do better. Perfect grades. Participates in multiple sports. Perfect. Always fucking perfect. Everything is an act. Everything is a lie. Perfectionism and high anxiety. He takes drugs to function and to cope. He drinks. He takes pills, both uppers and downers. I'm also open to the idea that he's had experiences with adults because they have access to him and Billy is simply around all the time. And it's not like Neil would care in the sense of wanting to protect his son. He'd be afraid it would ruin his image. So if anything did happen, Neil would never know.

Max would be affected as well. She has to dress up in feminine ways, and is allowed much less freedom. Her image is more carefully controlled. Like many girls with emotionally abusive and narcissistic fathers, Max has low self-esteem and difficulty in forming healthy relationships with others. She is constantly looking external validation, which is a need that Billy often meets for her. She has her own set of masks, and she plays at being indifferent and sassy. She is deeply insecure and just wants to be loved and is constantly disappointed. Any criticism causes her to fly off the handle. Unlike Billy, who is punished for being angry, Max is not punished for her anger. She is allowed feminine rage, so she is the angrier one between them. Billy tries to protect her, he does.

Susan is also an anxious mess, but has to put on a public front. She's worried about aging and that is a constant source of stress. She's a high society woman and is always entertaining, hosting, cooking, and flattering. She doesn't have a job, but she is on plenty of committees and does a lot of volunteer work. She's also on uppers to get through the days. She's even started asking Billy to get them for her because she can't be seen doing anything like that and her days are so packed.

Neil is probably also having an affair because that seems like something he would do. I personally like the idea that he accused Billy's mom of having an affair because he was having an affair. Hence, his added affair with Susan, which is how they ended up married.

Not to mention, he lost interest in his first wife and found his second by having the affair to begin with. Now, he's learned not to make any mistakes the second time. So he's careful and is still super secretive about everything. It's all very controlled and under wraps.

When he is having an affair, he is extra harsh on Billy because Neil has fallen back to his old vices. With his young, assistant, a recent college graduate. Before he can feel guilty and recognize his own fault and actions, he lashes out at Billy and makes things worse for him. Hurts him. Gives him strange chores. Odd punishments. The most out of the box punishment was forcing him to take cold showers for a month to toughen him up and make him a man who can be uncomfortable.

Susan is anxious and nervous that she is next. Given the dysfunction in the house, I can easily see her having adultified Billy and since he is not her son, she goes to him for emotional support, tells him things about her marriage that he should not know, and confides in him as if he is a friend and not her step-son. When she needs support her husband can't give, she goes to her step-son instead. She knows its not okay. She knows it's a bad thing, but she doesn't know what else to do and she wants to protect Max. It's chaotic, confusing, and Billy's relationship with Susan is a mess because he feels as responsible for her as he does with Max, but he also does his best to make sure she's okay and that she's happy. He's forced to call her and treat her like his mom, and even though she acts the loving mother in public, she treats him more personally in the house.

Nothing in this family is healthy.

Final note on Billy, yes he would still be into metal and his own version of the alt scene, but he is not allowed to play loud music or really express any of this feelings for music aside from listening to them Jonathan style when he's alone in his room.

Billy's life and Friends

Character driven stories are easier and more interesting other characters around to deepen the world, the story, and the relationships between characters. Genuine relationships are what make us human and we tend to do what we can with what we have. And teenagers always have a huge influx of new and ending relationships as they figure out who they are.

Not only that, but I sort of suspect that with how the Duffer's write friendships that they are terrible friends and are quite selfish and only focused on themselves.

Huge fan of giving Billy friends. Given his new social position and level of importance, he would need people around him for the story and the plot to make sense. Now, not all of them have to be friends. There would also be friends, allies, cling-ons, friendemies, and outright enemies.

And don't they say keep your enemies closer?

For Billy's genuine friends, I'd like to see him be friends with Eddie, either publicly or as a secret. Having a secret friendship be healthy would be hella interesting. Eddie is also his dealer. Billy takes pills to chill out and smokes a lot of weed. Choose your own adventure if you want some Mungrove to happen before Steve shows up.

I am a sucker for Billy and Heather as besties. They're such good friends that Billy's girlfriend is jealous and it causes problems with her a lot. Choose your own adventure on if you want her to know Billy likes boys (meaning Billy would know that Heather likes girls and boys).

Tommy and Carol can be friends with him too, why not.

Billy and Nancy know one another, but they don't hang out or anything.

Billy's girlfriend can be anyone in Hawkins, lol . Maybe he's been in a relationship much like Tommy and Carol, where he's been with this girl — Becky, Amy, Tina, Vickie it honestly doesn't matter — since they were like 12. And now things are just... a problem. They're fighting all the time, Heather is a source of jealousy, and Billy is just so exhausted. He's miserable because everything is a lie. Everything is such bullshit and he has no idea why he's so unhappy and upset all the time.

Max and Billy

Am I even to be taken seriously if I don't include Max in something about Billy?

Max hates being in the spotlight and all the attention. She's forced to wear dresses and do things she hates. Billy protects her from a lot and actively does what he can to make sure she's not always in the spotlight. There's many, many pictures of her wearing his jackets, or images of her with her arms around her brother or pressed close to his body, hiding her face because she gets so frustrated with everything and everyone. The attention is nice, but it's so much and so overwhelming. She hates the way she looks dressed up like a doll, but it's also expected and so much a part of her life that she can't stop it.

They fight like siblings, but always at home. They get along better, mostly because the hell they live in is not solely on Billy. Max remains the golden child and Neil spoils her rotten, but she has to follow his ideals of femininity and being a woman and a good perfect daughter.

Neil Hargrove rules his family with an iron fist. Billy can only do so much.

And then... some rich, successful New Yorkers come to town.

(Alt) Goth Steve

This arrived in my Inbox like a gift. I am sat. I see the vision. I embrace the vision. I carry it as a torch into the darkness. Follow me, my brethren.

Here's the thing about goth culture, especially in the 80s. Most of it was born out of a ton of different cultural aspects, some that I love include: horror films, vampires, gothic literature, and traditional mythologies such as Celtic, Egyptian, Christian, and Paganism.

Give me Steve with tattoos his friends gave him on places his clothes cover since he's 17. Give me Steve that's super into literature. Give me Steve that loves history and mythology and is obsessed with the Greeks and ancient Egypt. Give me a Steve that gets into paganism and the occult. That wants to summon a demon. That has done seances. That has danced naked under full moons. He's done rituals he barely understood after being given shrooms out in the Catskills Mountain (in south New York). He's been to new age Dionysus parties with wine and probably LSD. There was an orgie. Give me Steve that is into new age religion and hates going to church on Sundays with his parents.

Now we have East Coast transplant Steve, who has grown up in busy city that had access to a ton of cultural influence and change, many different religious ideas, and is suddenly in the Bible belt? This Steve is open to anything, always willing to give something a shot and doesn't care. He'll do drugs just to learn about himself. He wants to experiment. We only live once and fuck Steve Harrington is here to liiiiiive.

Hawkins is gonna suuuuuck.

Look at this. He was built for the alt scene.

As we didn't see what Billy was like in California, perhaps Steve tones things down, just a little so he can avoid becoming a social pariah. Not because he cares what people think, but because he knows he has to play nice with his parents. For now. He doesn't want to get kicked out. He wants to get his Trust fund. He wants to keep access to the money and the privilege that comes with his name. It would be lame to just give all of that up. So, he's playing nice with his parents until things die down. He still dresses in all black, wears his jewelry, but just slightly less.

Why are they in Hawkins? So glad you asked!

The real reason is to get a handle on Steve and get him back under control. His parents at their wits end and don't know where they went wrong, what's wrong with him. He's just so difficult. Perhaps this is Martha's fault for spoiling him.

He messed around with some drugs and got way too into a MMF trouple situation. Either he went to the Dionysus party with them, or met them while he was there. The girl got knocked up and she didn't know who the father was. Neither did Steve and their partner Michael. Steve was ready to marry her since his parents are richer than the stock market. His parents forbade this, got the girl an abortion, paid off both families, and relocated to the Midwest where Martha was born to... decompress from city life and take a little break from the city and the business of Manhattan. That's the official reason. What everyone is told.

Now, the Harrington's are famous in the United States and well known enough that when they show up in Hawkins, it's a big fucking deal. We're talking front page news, someone is hosting a party to invite them back to town.

Martha Harrington is regarded as well known and a local success for marrying so rich and so well. If only anyone knew behind closed doors what her family life is really like. What her son is like.

Simply put. Steve does not give a fuck and is just waiting until he turns 18. He has no idea what he's going to do, but knows he'll get the Trust Fund at 21, so it's only a few years. He can go to college on his parents dime for 4 years and just figure it out. Whatever happens.

He just wants to have a good time. He wants to learn.

Harringrove

Sweet baby Jesus. Pray for these boys and the sins they will unfold upon this land and one another.

There's a big party to welcome the Harrington to Hawkins. Billy is in trouble for something and doesn't attend because he's injured.

Instead, they meet a week later at a Hawkins Charity function.

Neil wants the Harrington's to become donors to his campaign. To support him. To trade secrets and wealth. They have a son Billy's age. Neil needs to get in with Daniel Harrington and wants Billy to get involved, act right, and do what Neil trained him to do. Make connections. Play the game.

Do you see my vision?

Steve is not at all what Billy expects. He's loud, open about his feelings, and bored with whatever the hell this bullshit party is. What he wants to know is: where is the after party and when do we leave to get there?

At first sight, Steve wants Billy. He basically forgets all about getting back to New York and whatever was going on and is just focused on finding a way to get this dude into his bed. Fuck his parents and what they want and their expectations. They dragged him into this hell, he's going to stick it to someone.

So Steve says he wants girls and an after party and whatever else while he sets his plan into motion to ruin the politician his dad is here to support by finding a way to have sex with Hargrove's son and humiliate his parents, the state of Indiana. Fuck it. Steve is here to burn it all down. If he can't be happy, no one is going to be happy.

That's right, in this, Steve flaunts his position and enjoys what it gives him, and he is the one obsessed with Billy. He's just waiting for the right moment to work his magic. Steve wants what he wants and has never been very good at listening to 'No.'

But there's a slight hiccup in Steve's plan. Billy doesn't give a shit about Daniel Harrington. During the after party when Steve hit on Heather, Billy told him to go fuck himself. That he's not going to kiss his ass because of his dad and he can shove his entitlement up his ass.

That simmers Steve's temper a little because there's someone who doesn't care. That stood up and protected someone from him despite what it could mean. One word from Steve and his dad (might) withdraw all support from the Hargrove's campaign.

And... Billy did it anyway.

It doubles Steve's interest because oh yes. If there's anything Steve loves more than a hot, protective dude, it's a hot protective dude who hates his dad.

Steve and Billy end up hanging out more than Steve would thought. Despite the alt way he dresses, he's treated well because of who his dad is and all the girls want to marry some rich asshole who lives in the big city and set them up for life. So he sleeps with some of the girls. Is invited to parties left and right. But, he's distracted. He wants to be close to Billy and figure him out, see how things work.

Billy and his crew invite him out for Saturday partying and day drinking in Indianapolis. Time in the city? Sign him the fuck up. He doesn't care about the event that night, but he goes up to the city with them.

They drink some expensive wine that was a gift from someone in support of some reform that Neil has taken into account. They pass around cigarettes with the wine.

Steve notices that Billy's girlfriend is there and how she's trying to get closer to him but he is just not physically interested. He doesn't ignore her, he stops what he's doing to acknowledge and look at her. They talk. They argue here and there. She is desperate to get his attention and wants to do something just the two of them. But the drunker they get? The less attention he pays her.

Toward the end of the end of the night, Heather sits in Billy's lap in a possessive but non romantic way before she walks off with one of the other girls for nearly an hour. When they come back, Steve has a feeling he knows what they were up to based on the fact they switched shirts and they look satisfied.

Oh, so Hawkins isn't as boring as he thought.

That night, or is it morning now?, Steve pretends he's sick and Billy leads him off to a bathroom of an expensive hotel they're staying in for the night. The teens have a suite to themselves and they're enjoying it. As soon as the door closes, Steve locks it, miraculously recovers, and kisses Billy. It's sudden and hard and passionate. They make out and end up giving and receiving blow jobs. The party is loud and they get away with it. No one notices, but that could be because there were other hookups and by this point, everyone was shitfaced and some had even passed out or gone to bed.

Steve winks and warns Billy not to let his girlfriend see the bite marks on his thighs.

Things are a little rocky, but not too bad. They see one another at school, they hang out together in groups. Steve meets Eddie through Billy and thank god, he has a dealer again, he's running low on everything.

They continue to fool around, sometimes at parties. Sometimes in the car. Sometimes in the woods. Lover's Lake. Skull rock.

One night, Steve pierces Billy's ear and he hides the earring even as it heals.

Maybe Steve and Billy do a solo night, but rather than doing drugs like they planned, they end up having loud, dirty sex in the big, empty Harrington house. The first time Steve's parents have left him alone since the incident more than six months ago. They take it slow and sensual. It's intense. Hands down the most intense experience Billy has ever had, and it's up there for Steve. Especially since they're both totally sober. A first for both of them.

The issue now though, is that as much as Steve wants to be angry and stick it to his parents, he likes Billy. He does still want to fuck everything up, but he doesn't want to ruin Billy's life. None of this is fair to him and he sees the cracks. He knows that Billy doesn't want anything to do with his father, but is also dependent on him. All Billy wants is to be told he's loved and for someone to care about him. And Steve has plenty of that. He is obsessive about his partners and he's never been quite so... intense about someone as he is with Billy.

That's also an issue because this is 1984 and Billy is sort of in a relationship, but not really. Steve is territorial and obsessive and likes to stake claims to the things that are his. He wants to be able to claim Billy around others but knows he can't do that without putting them at risk.

So he does it in smaller ways.

They get into a fight one night after some stupid political party and when Billy tries to walk away, Steve grabs him and slams him into a wall to stop him because they're not done talking yet, and Billy freezes and completely shuts down. Steve has never seen anyone have a panic attack and it scares the shit out of him.

They miss the rest of the event in the panic attack and it's aftermath. Billy cries and can't stop. He's such a mess and Steve smuggles him out so no one sees, so no one finds out.

When Billy gets home at 4 am the next morning, Neil gives it to him.

When Steve gets home around the same time, his parents ground him and rescind many of the privileges they've given him for good behavior up until now.

Steve doesn't understand. Not everything. But he knows something happened to Billy for him to react like that. Whenever he tries to apologize, Billy brushes it off and pretends nothing happened. The nerve of him too, because Steve has never apologized for anything! And yet, Billy won't be alone with him and shies away from being touched like he's been slapped. And not just from Steve, from everyone. Even Heather can't touch him now.

He and his girlfriend have silently broken up and Billy starts to pull away. And not just from Steve. From everyone.

Steve tries not to let it bother him. And he succeeds for two whole days.

Until he hears that even Heather is worried about him.

Steve let's his intensity and passion get the best of him. He wants what's his and Billy is his now and he can't just walk away, so he wants to see what he can do to try to make things right.

The night of the election comes around and they're all waiting. There's a party as the votes are being cast. In fact, Daniel offered to host the party at some big hall, something about a tax write off or something. Apparently Daniel and Neil get along. They're aligned with something about oil and drilling, and farming subsidies or whatever the hell. Steve honestly has no idea where all the money comes from, but he knows that his dad is good at keeping his money hidden until the right moments to choose from.

Billy is still jumpy and uncertain. Basically the whole god damn town is there. The closer they get to announcing the results, the more nervous billy gets. Eventually, he's siting, jacket off, tie loose, arms crossed, staring at the radio as things are tallied.

Everything is so intense. Everyone is excited and nervous. Sometimes you could hear a pin drop. Sometimes everyone is loud and cheering.

Neil wins.

It turns into one of the biggest parties of the season, and that's saying something.

Steve pulls Billy off with him and plasters him with kisses. Apologies. Says they don't have to talk about it now. But he wants to know. Wants to help. Wants to take care of him. And Billy gives in. They make out. They hook up in Steve's room, but it's quickie this time. They don't fully undress, pants down shirts up.

They're face to face. They have to be. That's the only way it'll work tonight because they can't stop kissing.

Steve laughs and leans in for another kiss and ends up biting. "You're mine and no one will take you from me," he mumbles into Billy's skin and he means it.

They're both close. They don't have much time. They can't go back gross and sweaty.

Steve realizes he never wants to let Billy go, that he'll dig his nails into him and keep him forever. "Fuck it. Let's run. Let's get the fuck out of Hawkins."

That's how they finish. With bruising kisses and promises (lies) from red lips about getting the fuck out of Hawkins. Of running together.

What will come of Neil's political career...

P.S. Move over Billy the Terminator, the New Yorker Steve shows up to Tina's Halloween Party as a Gladiator.

Before everything else, goth is music. the lyrics of that music are usually (but not always) nihilist.

Before we go on i wanna give a brief explanation of what i mean by nihilist and memento mori, because it can be misconstrued as pessimistic. It isn't. Memento mori means, "remember you must die". Nihilism is a philosophical belief that everything is meaningless and nothing matters (to put it simply). To me, these things are ways to unshackle yourself from worldly stressors and embrace the absoluteness and beauty of the world. You're gonna die someday, so why not buy $40 ice cream and enjoy it? You're gonna die someday, so stop holding onto all this pointless shit so tightly. It isn't pessimism, it's "what would you do if you had one day left on earth?" condensed into a lifestyle and belief system. Do whats important and fun and good because you're gonna die one day. Be the person you want to be now and not tomorrow because before you know it, you'll be dead. THAT is nihilism and memento mori, and that is the core of the gothic lifestyle. The gothic aesthetic and the spook comes second.

...at least to me, a humble modern goth. Others are welcome to chime in nyehehe.

Anyway, back to Steve.

In the 80s and 90s, the alt scene used to mix and mingle together. You'd get the goths and the metalheads and the punks all in one building in their lil zones, only for them to mingle together around the bar. Everyone kinda got annoyed with everyone but everyone also shared and agreed with worldviews, more or less.

Steve would have been mingling with the COOLEST losers on the block.

Much like the anti-capitalist punks of the day, goth was a DIY anticapitalist movement that had an open-mindedness normal folk just didn't enjoy. Sex, drugs, rock and roll, but do it all on your husbands grave. If punk was "we're all gonna die and i'll take em down with me", then goth lyrics were written with momento mori nihilism in the bg. It still is.

And god. The nihilist mindset would suit this Steve so well, don't you think? An anti capitalist nihilist billionaire only-child who's determined to spend every cent on pleasures and knowledge and experiences and the people he loves because fuck it, we're all gonna die -- yolo, if you will. This steve meeting the love of his life while on a mission to enjoy the world until he dies, and seeing billy, whose quest for perfection and acquisition of menial pointless things (to please neil) that won't matter when he dies... is killing him. Nihilist, memento mori steve knowing that someday he must die, so maybe all those trust fund pleasures he was chasing were moot, because the only thing that matters is Billy.

Steve's not gonna have Billy's love once he dies because he won't exist. So he better squeeze every last drop of love and enjoyment while he's got it.

Nihilist, goth, trust fund Steve? Chasing the money at first only to abandon it to run away with Billy because nothing matters in the end (positive)?

Delicious. YUM.

The Harringtons could send him to the moon in an orange jumpsuit and it couldn't change his view of the world or how he behaves. Goth is music, and the messages in that music are something that never goes away.

So [rubs hands together]

This is the quintessential goth 101 playlist, if emo is welcome to the black parade and ohio is for lovers, then goth would be:

Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus

Spellbound + The Passenger by Siouxsie & The Banshees

Lovesong + Lullaby + (the whole of Disintegration) by The Cure

Romeo's Distress by Christian Death

This Corrosion + Temple of Love by The Sisters Of Mercy

Personal Jesus + Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode

Love Will Tear Us Apart + Transmission by Joy Division

The Witch by Rosetta Stone

God i've missed so many but this is truly top 10 baby bat songs. But when it first came out, this was WEIRD and COOL and FRESH and DIFFERENT. It still is. This is the soundtrack of Steve's life, this is on the cassette mixtapes he owns, these are the songs he and his alt friends shared and loved and songs he had first times and weird memories and good stories to tell with.

(The above is a playlist of all the songs in this post)

I should also mention that in New York at the time, New Wave was sort of the sister american genre to goth, which started in the UK. It had a more pop and mainstream lean to it, and included bands like Duran Duran and The Eurythmics. So while they are not the same genre, they had a lot of overlap such as with The Cure.

Anyway. Lets add some modern and classic goth soundtracks to the scenes you just wrote >:)

Billy introduction:

Billy would use different masks and personas. He tries so hard to make his father happy, to be the man he wants him to be. Instead of going against his father, Billy is actively chasing after his father's love and approval. He wants that pat on the head, he wants to be told that he's loved, that he's enough. He pretends to be straight, he really, really does. He plays the role well enough. Has a girlfriend, shows up to all the events his father needs him at, is put together, well dressed, well spoken. He is charming and brilliant. He knows when to flirt, when to flatter, when to play dumb. But, it's all an act. His life is an act. Billy looks and acts perfect. And it's still not enough. Nothing is enough for Neil.

The German verse of Gallowdance by Lebanon Hanover playing over the top of a montage of Billy getting ready, perfecting himself, going through the motions, alone in a crowd, a husk of a man participating in his own death and the squash of his soul and being. The tone of the song, you understand that something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong. You see this boy smiling and flirting and socialising and succeeding and something is Wrong.

Dance with me the gallowdance As long as we're, as long as we're not hanging As long as we still can my love We both know the string is always ready Dance with me the gallowdance, For all the degradation is this land.

Billy looking into the mirror. Tightening his tie. His noose. He makes sure it's tight and secure, the way his father taught him.

Dance with me the gallowdance As long we, as long we still don't hang Dance with me the gallowdance As long as we still can The tree has been there for a long time, my darling It is just waiting for us to part The tree is already there, my darling The beautiful tree to hang yourself

Steve Introduction:

Steve, our wayward prince of the night, could only exist with a vampire goth song. We finish meeting Billy, our last shot is of his noose, and then we meet Steve.

Give me Steve with tattoos his friends gave him on places his clothes cover since he's 17. Give me Steve that's super into literature. Give me Steve that loves history and mythology and is obsessed with the Greeks and ancient Egypt. Give me a Steve that gets into paganism and the occult. That wants to summon a demon. That has done seances. That has danced naked under full moons. He's done rituals he barely understood after being given shrooms out in the Catskills Mountain (in south New York). He's been to new age Dionysus parties with wine and probably LSD. There was an orgie. Give me Steve that is into new age religion and hates going to church on Sundays with his parents. Now we have East Coast transplant Steve, who has grown up in busy city that had access to a ton of cultural influence and change, many different religious ideas, and is suddenly in the Bible belt? This Steve is open to anything, always willing to give something a shot and doesn't care. He'll do drugs just to learn about himself. He wants to experiment. We only live once and fuck Steve Harrington is here to liiiiiive.

Congrats Steve, you're getting bestowed the honour of my favourite goth song, Bloodsucker by Paralysed Age.

Now it's time to dance And time to pray Move close to me And hear what I say It's torture time My little child So follow me Into the night

Steve in new york moving through alt clubs. He's dancing, he's drinking, he's living, he's alive. Steve? Thriving.

(bridge) Let me drag you down Let me kiss your neck Please don't be afraid I'll show you things you won't forget

He's having orgies with his throuple and his parents disapprove of the mid-morning hour he gets home, dishevelled and high and feeling great.

(chorus) No it's too late I bite I suck I emptied you

He's having more orgies, with the same couple from his poly relationship but a different room. He's dancing and drinking and laughing in a different club.

There's no escape You have to follow me in to Into the empire of the vampire Where dreams turn into fright And to a land called Transylvania Where life begins at night (begins at night)

Steve looking at Hawkins as he arrives. You understand why his parents moved him here. He's been pulled out of the empire of the vampire. There is no night here.

Is steve gonna make his own?

Villains:

I love any opportunity to shit on Neil, Susan and Karen when i talk about Billy. Let's give them a song and lyrics chunk each, shall we?

[Galadriel voice] Neil Hargrove, i bestow to you our most beloved star angst; Lullaby by The Cure.

On candystripe legs the spiderman comes Softly through the shadow of the evening sun Stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead Looking for the victim shivering in bed Searching out fear in the gathering gloom And suddenly a movement in the corner of the room And there is nothing I can do when I realise with fright That the spiderman is having me for dinner tonight

Susan is getting Pain by Boy Harsher

Where were you when I was out of line? I know, I don't know You and me in your thoughts, alone So it goes, so it goes I am needing this from you tonight Your side, your dark side I want you to turn off the light Your side, your dark side Pain, I love pain Pain, I love pain

Karen is getting Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge; her as the POV, Billy as the girl.

Got a big plan, this mindset, maybe it's right At the right place and right time, maybe tonight In a whisper or handshake, sending a sign Wanna make out and kiss hard? Wait, never mind Late night in passing mentioned it flipped To her best friend, it's nothing, maybe it slipped But the slip turns to terror, and a crush to like Then she walked in, he froze up, believe it's the fright [Verse 2] It's cute in a way 'til you cannot speak And you leave to have a cigarette and knees get weak Escape was just a nod and a casual wave Obsess about it heavy for the next two days It's only just a crush, it'll go away It's just like all the others, it'll go away Or maybe this is danger, and he just don't know You pray it all away, but it continues to grow [Chorus] I want to hold you close, skin pressed against me tight Lie still, close your eyes, girl, so lovely, it feels so right I want to hold you close, soft breast, beating heart As I whisper in your ear,"I wanna fucking tear you apart"

Now, you may be thinking, "wow Silence these songs all seem to imply and tell the story of a similar act occuring." to which, as a dead dove author, i say yep they sure do.

LETS MOVE ONTO SOMETHING NICER THO.

Smooch song of choice

The smooch gets the honour of my new favourite band. Western Horror Story by Mouth Ulcers is what i would play over their first hungry collision.

We need. To feel. Alive. Please. I need. To be free.

Backed into bathroom counters, kissed against Billy's midwestern sensible car, dark corners, where the darkness itself splits open for Billy and Steve pours into his world like blinding light between the cracks.

Please. I need. To feel free.

Or, as you so wonderfully wrote it:

That night, or is it morning now?, Steve pretends he's sick and Billy leads him off to a bathroom of an expensive hotel they're staying in for the night. The teens have a suite to themselves and they're enjoying it. As soon as the door closes, Steve locks it, miraculously recovers, and kisses Billy. It's sudden and hard and passionate. They make out and end up giving and receiving blow jobs. The party is loud and they get away with it. No one notices, but that could be because there were other hookups and by this point, everyone was shitfaced and some had even passed out or gone to bed. Steve winks and warns Billy not to let his girlfriend see the bite marks on his thighs.

Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode would also be a great song for a man dropping to his knees to worship. Reach out and touch faith and all that.

Some honourable harringrove mentions are:

Crimson by All Living Fear

Pale Empress by The Merry Thoughts

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So you don't have to scroll back up, here's the playlist again:

Spotify is funding ICE so you're not getting a spotify playlist, we're going oldschool.

Intervention

Here's the thing about the 1980s. Everything was swept under the rug. Nothing was talked about. Or acknowledged. Or dealt with. People minded their business, which included their own families. People knew things, but they never directly discussed or talked about them publicly. A man would never tell another man how to raise his kids or speak to his woman.

Depending on who Neil is in the community, no one would dare criticize him. You could argue that maybe Hopper did his best at one point? My idea to make this role reversal fun fits the characters differently. You asked me to keep the same family dynamics as canon, so that's the only thing I'm treating as concrete.

Neil is still an abusive piece of shit, but a different status in town would change the way the abuse manifests. More details below.

Moment of silence

A moment of silence please, as we mourn for Billy's 80s rock hair. Bye bye Billy's beautiful luscious curls. You were beautiful in canon, but it is AU time.

The Car (RIP Camaro)

No one is more sad about the loss of Lenore than I, gentle reader. Sadly, we're also saying goodbye to the Camaro. It's too loud and too flashy.

But Billy is a good midwest American boy. He'd end up with a respectable car that doesn't make so much noise. No more of that loud bullshit.

Oh... what about a 1981 Chrysler Imperial?

Billy's home life

Let's start with the same family dynamics. Billy's mother is out of the picture. Billy was born and raised in Hawkins and currently lives with Neil, his step mother, Susan, and his sister, Max.

Actually, for this AU, fuck it! Max is Neil's biological daughter and he married Susan because she got pregnant and he couldn't just abandon her. What type of man would do something so terrible? Not Neil. He's responsible and a good man. A pillar of the community.

So he ruined his first wife's reputation so completely that she just disappeared one day, paving the way for his divorce and subsequent marriage to Susan.

(Ignore Will Chase's tattoos, lol)

That's right baby, Billy and Max are half siblings, but Max doesn't know that. She thinks they're just siblings. Since the divorce, Billy has been forced to treat Susan as his mother. He calls her mom. Acts as though she is his mother in every way. Billy was 3 when Susan got pregnant and 4 when Max was born. He's been there through it all and has been stuck looking after her from the start. It's all he knows.

To make this more fun, let's say that Neil is of some importance in Hawkins. Let's make him the Mayor, why not. It would change the expectations and give the Hargove family a prominent place in the community. Not quite rich like the Harrington's in OG canon, but influential all the same.

Let's say that the year all this happens, Neil is running for the U.S. Senate or something. The politics don't have to be important, but I love me some political maneuvering and scheming.

Might not be the vibe you're going for, so ignore the details. Let me establish set pieces. Trust the vision.

Billy himself

Billy's core personality is the same, but his coping mechanisms and masks are different. Rather than presenting as he does in the show, he would look different and stick more to the cultural ideals in the Midwest.

Given that his personality is the same, Billy is a smart, highly sensitive, intuitive, misunderstood, and emotional teenager who has had a poor role model an has therefore learned a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms. He's passionate and deeply flawed. But in this, he is not angry. He's anxious. Rather than lashing out, yelling to starting fights, he shuts down. He is self destructive at a lower volume. Disassociation episodes, self medicates with drugs and alcohol, panic attacks.

Neil wants Billy to be strong young man who presents well and is capable of of moving through social circles with grace and elegance. Billy needs to be a politician. No one can know what he's thinking. He cannot compromise Neil's standing in the community. After all, Neil is up for the US Senate this year and Billy needs to be on his best behavior and cannot ruin his father's political ambitions. Neil is a family man and his family is part of his brand. They all need to stay in line.

Billy is always in the public eye. He is a core part of Neil's brand. He's a public figure in Hawkins as much as his father and represents everything Neil wants to bring from Hawkins to broader Indiana and the country.

Billy would use different masks and personas. He tries so hard to make his father happy, to be the man he wants him to be. Instead of going against his father, Billy is actively chasing after his father's love and approval. He wants that pat on the head, he wants to be told that he's loved, that he's enough. He pretends to be straight, he really, really does. He plays the role well enough. Has a girlfriend, shows up to all the events his father needs him at, is put together, well dressed, well spoken. He is charming and brilliant. He knows when to flirt, when to flatter, when to play dumb.

But, it's all an act. His life is an act.

Billy looks and acts perfect.

And it's still not enough.

Nothing is enough for Neil.

All eyes are on them. They are the family that represents Hawkins. Neil does still abuse Billy and does so much the way we see in canon. Physically threatens him, uses physical abuse that will not leave behind marks, and turns the verbally abusive up to 11. He ridicules Billy for being such a failure and for being such a pussy and acting like a queer.

And let's not forget, Neil Hargrove's A+ emotionally abusive tendencies that he uses on the whole family. In public, they present as the perfect family, put together, loving, and perfectly functional. But behind closed doors?

The Hargrove Family

Billy is an overachiever and believes that he can always be better. There's always something he can do better. Perfect grades. Participates in multiple sports. Perfect. Always fucking perfect. Everything is an act. Everything is a lie. Perfectionism and high anxiety. He takes drugs to function and to cope. He drinks. He takes pills, both uppers and downers. I'm also open to the idea that he's had experiences with adults because they have access to him and Billy is simply around all the time. And it's not like Neil would care in the sense of wanting to protect his son. He'd be afraid it would ruin his image. So if anything did happen, Neil would never know.

Max would be affected as well. She has to dress up in feminine ways, and is allowed much less freedom. Her image is more carefully controlled. Like many girls with emotionally abusive and narcissistic fathers, Max has low self-esteem and difficulty in forming healthy relationships with others. She is constantly looking external validation, which is a need that Billy often meets for her. She has her own set of masks, and she plays at being indifferent and sassy. She is deeply insecure and just wants to be loved and is constantly disappointed. Any criticism causes her to fly off the handle. Unlike Billy, who is punished for being angry, Max is not punished for her anger. She is allowed feminine rage, so she is the angrier one between them. Billy tries to protect her, he does.

Susan is also an anxious mess, but has to put on a public front. She's worried about aging and that is a constant source of stress. She's a high society woman and is always entertaining, hosting, cooking, and flattering. She doesn't have a job, but she is on plenty of committees and does a lot of volunteer work. She's also on uppers to get through the days. She's even started asking Billy to get them for her because she can't be seen doing anything like that and her days are so packed.

Neil is probably also having an affair because that seems like something he would do. I personally like the idea that he accused Billy's mom of having an affair because he was having an affair. Hence, his added affair with Susan, which is how they ended up married.

Not to mention, he lost interest in his first wife and found his second by having the affair to begin with. Now, he's learned not to make any mistakes the second time. So he's careful and is still super secretive about everything. It's all very controlled and under wraps.

When he is having an affair, he is extra harsh on Billy because Neil has fallen back to his old vices. With his young, assistant, a recent college graduate. Before he can feel guilty and recognize his own fault and actions, he lashes out at Billy and makes things worse for him. Hurts him. Gives him strange chores. Odd punishments. The most out of the box punishment was forcing him to take cold showers for a month to toughen him up and make him a man who can be uncomfortable.

Susan is anxious and nervous that she is next. Given the dysfunction in the house, I can easily see her having adultified Billy and since he is not her son, she goes to him for emotional support, tells him things about her marriage that he should not know, and confides in him as if he is a friend and not her step-son. When she needs support her husband can't give, she goes to her step-son instead. She knows its not okay. She knows it's a bad thing, but she doesn't know what else to do and she wants to protect Max. It's chaotic, confusing, and Billy's relationship with Susan is a mess because he feels as responsible for her as he does with Max, but he also does his best to make sure she's okay and that she's happy. He's forced to call her and treat her like his mom, and even though she acts the loving mother in public, she treats him more personally in the house.

Nothing in this family is healthy.

Final note on Billy, yes he would still be into metal and his own version of the alt scene, but he is not allowed to play loud music or really express any of this feelings for music aside from listening to them Jonathan style when he's alone in his room.

Billy's life and Friends

Character driven stories are easier and more interesting other characters around to deepen the world, the story, and the relationships between characters. Genuine relationships are what make us human and we tend to do what we can with what we have. And teenagers always have a huge influx of new and ending relationships as they figure out who they are.

Not only that, but I sort of suspect that with how the Duffer's write friendships that they are terrible friends and are quite selfish and only focused on themselves.

Huge fan of giving Billy friends. Given his new social position and level of importance, he would need people around him for the story and the plot to make sense. Now, not all of them have to be friends. There would also be friends, allies, cling-ons, friendemies, and outright enemies.

And don't they say keep your enemies closer?

For Billy's genuine friends, I'd like to see him be friends with Eddie, either publicly or as a secret. Having a secret friendship be healthy would be hella interesting. Eddie is also his dealer. Billy takes pills to chill out and smokes a lot of weed. Choose your own adventure if you want some Mungrove to happen before Steve shows up.

I am a sucker for Billy and Heather as besties. They're such good friends that Billy's girlfriend is jealous and it causes problems with her a lot. Choose your own adventure on if you want her to know Billy likes boys (meaning Billy would know that Heather likes girls and boys).

Tommy and Carol can be friends with him too, why not.

Billy and Nancy know one another, but they don't hang out or anything.

Billy's girlfriend can be anyone in Hawkins, lol . Maybe he's been in a relationship much like Tommy and Carol, where he's been with this girl — Becky, Amy, Tina, Vickie it honestly doesn't matter — since they were like 12. And now things are just... a problem. They're fighting all the time, Heather is a source of jealousy, and Billy is just so exhausted. He's miserable because everything is a lie. Everything is such bullshit and he has no idea why he's so unhappy and upset all the time.

Max and Billy

Am I even to be taken seriously if I don't include Max in something about Billy?

Max hates being in the spotlight and all the attention. She's forced to wear dresses and do things she hates. Billy protects her from a lot and actively does what he can to make sure she's not always in the spotlight. There's many, many pictures of her wearing his jackets, or images of her with her arms around her brother or pressed close to his body, hiding her face because she gets so frustrated with everything and everyone. The attention is nice, but it's so much and so overwhelming. She hates the way she looks dressed up like a doll, but it's also expected and so much a part of her life that she can't stop it.

They fight like siblings, but always at home. They get along better, mostly because the hell they live in is not solely on Billy. Max remains the golden child and Neil spoils her rotten, but she has to follow his ideals of femininity and being a woman and a good perfect daughter.

Neil Hargrove rules his family with an iron fist. Billy can only do so much.

And then... some rich, successful New Yorkers come to town.

(Alt) Goth Steve

This arrived in my Inbox like a gift. I am sat. I see the vision. I embrace the vision. I carry it as a torch into the darkness. Follow me, my brethren.

Here's the thing about goth culture, especially in the 80s. Most of it was born out of a ton of different cultural aspects, some that I love include: horror films, vampires, gothic literature, and traditional mythologies such as Celtic, Egyptian, Christian, and Paganism.

Give me Steve with tattoos his friends gave him on places his clothes cover since he's 17. Give me Steve that's super into literature. Give me Steve that loves history and mythology and is obsessed with the Greeks and ancient Egypt. Give me a Steve that gets into paganism and the occult. That wants to summon a demon. That has done seances. That has danced naked under full moons. He's done rituals he barely understood after being given shrooms out in the Catskills Mountain (in south New York). He's been to new age Dionysus parties with wine and probably LSD. There was an orgie. Give me Steve that is into new age religion and hates going to church on Sundays with his parents.

Now we have East Coast transplant Steve, who has grown up in busy city that had access to a ton of cultural influence and change, many different religious ideas, and is suddenly in the Bible belt? This Steve is open to anything, always willing to give something a shot and doesn't care. He'll do drugs just to learn about himself. He wants to experiment. We only live once and fuck Steve Harrington is here to liiiiiive.

Hawkins is gonna suuuuuck.

Look at this. He was built for the alt scene.

As we didn't see what Billy was like in California, perhaps Steve tones things down, just a little so he can avoid becoming a social pariah. Not because he cares what people think, but because he knows he has to play nice with his parents. For now. He doesn't want to get kicked out. He wants to get his Trust fund. He wants to keep access to the money and the privilege that comes with his name. It would be lame to just give all of that up. So, he's playing nice with his parents until things die down. He still dresses in all black, wears his jewelry, but just slightly less.

Why are they in Hawkins? So glad you asked!

The real reason is to get a handle on Steve and get him back under control. His parents at their wits end and don't know where they went wrong, what's wrong with him. He's just so difficult. Perhaps this is Martha's fault for spoiling him.

He messed around with some drugs and got way too into a MMF trouple situation. Either he went to the Dionysus party with them, or met them while he was there. The girl got knocked up and she didn't know who the father was. Neither did Steve and their partner Michael. Steve was ready to marry her since his parents are richer than the stock market. His parents forbade this, got the girl an abortion, paid off both families, and relocated to the Midwest where Martha was born to... decompress from city life and take a little break from the city and the business of Manhattan. That's the official reason. What everyone is told.

Now, the Harrington's are famous in the United States and well known enough that when they show up in Hawkins, it's a big fucking deal. We're talking front page news, someone is hosting a party to invite them back to town.

Martha Harrington is regarded as well known and a local success for marrying so rich and so well. If only anyone knew behind closed doors what her family life is really like. What her son is like.

Simply put. Steve does not give a fuck and is just waiting until he turns 18. He has no idea what he's going to do, but knows he'll get the Trust Fund at 21, so it's only a few years. He can go to college on his parents dime for 4 years and just figure it out. Whatever happens.

He just wants to have a good time. He wants to learn.

Harringrove

Sweet baby Jesus. Pray for these boys and the sins they will unfold upon this land and one another.

There's a big party to welcome the Harrington to Hawkins. Billy is in trouble for something and doesn't attend because he's injured.

Instead, they meet a week later at a Hawkins Charity function.

Neil wants the Harrington's to become donors to his campaign. To support him. To trade secrets and wealth. They have a son Billy's age. Neil needs to get in with Daniel Harrington and wants Billy to get involved, act right, and do what Neil trained him to do. Make connections. Play the game.

Do you see my vision?

Steve is not at all what Billy expects. He's loud, open about his feelings, and bored with whatever the hell this bullshit party is. What he wants to know is: where is the after party and when do we leave to get there?

At first sight, Steve wants Billy. He basically forgets all about getting back to New York and whatever was going on and is just focused on finding a way to get this dude into his bed. Fuck his parents and what they want and their expectations. They dragged him into this hell, he's going to stick it to someone.

So Steve says he wants girls and an after party and whatever else while he sets his plan into motion to ruin the politician his dad is here to support by finding a way to have sex with Hargrove's son and humiliate his parents, the state of Indiana. Fuck it. Steve is here to burn it all down. If he can't be happy, no one is going to be happy.

That's right, in this, Steve flaunts his position and enjoys what it gives him, and he is the one obsessed with Billy. He's just waiting for the right moment to work his magic. Steve wants what he wants and has never been very good at listening to 'No.'

But there's a slight hiccup in Steve's plan. Billy doesn't give a shit about Daniel Harrington. During the after party when Steve hit on Heather, Billy told him to go fuck himself. That he's not going to kiss his ass because of his dad and he can shove his entitlement up his ass.

That simmers Steve's temper a little because there's someone who doesn't care. That stood up and protected someone from him despite what it could mean. One word from Steve and his dad (might) withdraw all support from the Hargrove's campaign.

And... Billy did it anyway.

It doubles Steve's interest because oh yes. If there's anything Steve loves more than a hot, protective dude, it's a hot protective dude who hates his dad.

Steve and Billy end up hanging out more than Steve would thought. Despite the alt way he dresses, he's treated well because of who his dad is and all the girls want to marry some rich asshole who lives in the big city and set them up for life. So he sleeps with some of the girls. Is invited to parties left and right. But, he's distracted. He wants to be close to Billy and figure him out, see how things work.

Billy and his crew invite him out for Saturday partying and day drinking in Indianapolis. Time in the city? Sign him the fuck up. He doesn't care about the event that night, but he goes up to the city with them.

They drink some expensive wine that was a gift from someone in support of some reform that Neil has taken into account. They pass around cigarettes with the wine.

Steve notices that Billy's girlfriend is there and how she's trying to get closer to him but he is just not physically interested. He doesn't ignore her, he stops what he's doing to acknowledge and look at her. They talk. They argue here and there. She is desperate to get his attention and wants to do something just the two of them. But the drunker they get? The less attention he pays her.

Toward the end of the end of the night, Heather sits in Billy's lap in a possessive but non romantic way before she walks off with one of the other girls for nearly an hour. When they come back, Steve has a feeling he knows what they were up to based on the fact they switched shirts and they look satisfied.

Oh, so Hawkins isn't as boring as he thought.

That night, or is it morning now?, Steve pretends he's sick and Billy leads him off to a bathroom of an expensive hotel they're staying in for the night. The teens have a suite to themselves and they're enjoying it. As soon as the door closes, Steve locks it, miraculously recovers, and kisses Billy. It's sudden and hard and passionate. They make out and end up giving and receiving blow jobs. The party is loud and they get away with it. No one notices, but that could be because there were other hookups and by this point, everyone was shitfaced and some had even passed out or gone to bed.

Steve winks and warns Billy not to let his girlfriend see the bite marks on his thighs.

Things are a little rocky, but not too bad. They see one another at school, they hang out together in groups. Steve meets Eddie through Billy and thank god, he has a dealer again, he's running low on everything.

They continue to fool around, sometimes at parties. Sometimes in the car. Sometimes in the woods. Lover's Lake. Skull rock.

One night, Steve pierces Billy's ear and he hides the earring even as it heals.

Maybe Steve and Billy do a solo night, but rather than doing drugs like they planned, they end up having loud, dirty sex in the big, empty Harrington house. The first time Steve's parents have left him alone since the incident more than six months ago. They take it slow and sensual. It's intense. Hands down the most intense experience Billy has ever had, and it's up there for Steve. Especially since they're both totally sober. A first for both of them.

The issue now though, is that as much as Steve wants to be angry and stick it to his parents, he likes Billy. He does still want to fuck everything up, but he doesn't want to ruin Billy's life. None of this is fair to him and he sees the cracks. He knows that Billy doesn't want anything to do with his father, but is also dependent on him. All Billy wants is to be told he's loved and for someone to care about him. And Steve has plenty of that. He is obsessive about his partners and he's never been quite so... intense about someone as he is with Billy.

That's also an issue because this is 1984 and Billy is sort of in a relationship, but not really. Steve is territorial and obsessive and likes to stake claims to the things that are his. He wants to be able to claim Billy around others but knows he can't do that without putting them at risk.

So he does it in smaller ways.

They get into a fight one night after some stupid political party and when Billy tries to walk away, Steve grabs him and slams him into a wall to stop him because they're not done talking yet, and Billy freezes and completely shuts down. Steve has never seen anyone have a panic attack and it scares the shit out of him.

They miss the rest of the event in the panic attack and it's aftermath. Billy cries and can't stop. He's such a mess and Steve smuggles him out so no one sees, so no one finds out.

When Billy gets home at 4 am the next morning, Neil gives it to him.

When Steve gets home around the same time, his parents ground him and rescind many of the privileges they've given him for good behavior up until now.

Steve doesn't understand. Not everything. But he knows something happened to Billy for him to react like that. Whenever he tries to apologize, Billy brushes it off and pretends nothing happened. The nerve of him too, because Steve has never apologized for anything! And yet, Billy won't be alone with him and shies away from being touched like he's been slapped. And not just from Steve, from everyone. Even Heather can't touch him now.

He and his girlfriend have silently broken up and Billy starts to pull away. And not just from Steve. From everyone.

Steve tries not to let it bother him. And he succeeds for two whole days.

Until he hears that even Heather is worried about him.

Steve let's his intensity and passion get the best of him. He wants what's his and Billy is his now and he can't just walk away, so he wants to see what he can do to try to make things right.

The night of the election comes around and they're all waiting. There's a party as the votes are being cast. In fact, Daniel offered to host the party at some big hall, something about a tax write off or something. Apparently Daniel and Neil get along. They're aligned with something about oil and drilling, and farming subsidies or whatever the hell. Steve honestly has no idea where all the money comes from, but he knows that his dad is good at keeping his money hidden until the right moments to choose from.

Billy is still jumpy and uncertain. Basically the whole god damn town is there. The closer they get to announcing the results, the more nervous billy gets. Eventually, he's siting, jacket off, tie loose, arms crossed, staring at the radio as things are tallied.

Everything is so intense. Everyone is excited and nervous. Sometimes you could hear a pin drop. Sometimes everyone is loud and cheering.

Neil wins.

It turns into one of the biggest parties of the season, and that's saying something.

Steve pulls Billy off with him and plasters him with kisses. Apologies. Says they don't have to talk about it now. But he wants to know. Wants to help. Wants to take care of him. And Billy gives in. They make out. They hook up in Steve's room, but it's quickie this time. They don't fully undress, pants down shirts up.

They're face to face. They have to be. That's the only way it'll work tonight because they can't stop kissing.

Steve laughs and leans in for another kiss and ends up biting. "You're mine and no one will take you from me," he mumbles into Billy's skin and he means it.

They're both close. They don't have much time. They can't go back gross and sweaty.

Steve realizes he never wants to let Billy go, that he'll dig his nails into him and keep him forever. "Fuck it. Let's run. Let's get the fuck out of Hawkins."

That's how they finish. With bruising kisses and promises (lies) from red lips about getting the fuck out of Hawkins. Of running together.

What will come of Neil's political career...

P.S. Move over Billy the Terminator, the New Yorker Steve shows up to Tina's Halloween Party as a Gladiator.

Before everything else, goth is music. the lyrics of that music are usually (but not always) nihilist.

Before we go on i wanna give a brief explanation of what i mean by nihilist and memento mori, because it can be misconstrued as pessimistic. It isn't. Memento mori means, "remember you must die". Nihilism is a philosophical belief that everything is meaningless and nothing matters (to put it simply). To me, these things are ways to unshackle yourself from worldly stressors and embrace the absoluteness and beauty of the world. You're gonna die someday, so why not buy $40 ice cream and enjoy it? You're gonna die someday, so stop holding onto all this pointless shit so tightly. It isn't pessimism, it's "what would you do if you had one day left on earth?" condensed into a lifestyle and belief system. Do whats important and fun and good because you're gonna die one day. Be the person you want to be now and not tomorrow because before you know it, you'll be dead. THAT is nihilism and memento mori, and that is the core of the gothic lifestyle. The gothic aesthetic and the spook comes second.

...at least to me, a humble modern goth. Others are welcome to chime in nyehehe.

Anyway, back to Steve.

In the 80s and 90s, the alt scene used to mix and mingle together. You'd get the goths and the metalheads and the punks all in one building in their lil zones, only for them to mingle together around the bar. Everyone kinda got annoyed with everyone but everyone also shared and agreed with worldviews, more or less.

Steve would have been mingling with the COOLEST losers on the block.

Much like the anti-capitalist punks of the day, goth was a DIY anticapitalist movement that had an open-mindedness normal folk just didn't enjoy. Sex, drugs, rock and roll, but do it all on your husbands grave. If punk was "we're all gonna die and i'll take em down with me", then goth lyrics were written with momento mori nihilism in the bg. It still is.

And god. The nihilist mindset would suit this Steve so well, don't you think? An anti capitalist nihilist billionaire only-child who's determined to spend every cent on pleasures and knowledge and experiences and the people he loves because fuck it, we're all gonna die -- yolo, if you will. This steve meeting the love of his life while on a mission to enjoy the world until he dies, and seeing billy, whose quest for perfection and acquisition of menial pointless things (to please neil) that won't matter when he dies... is killing him. Nihilist, memento mori steve knowing that someday he must die, so maybe all those trust fund pleasures he was chasing were moot, because the only thing that matters is Billy.

Steve's not gonna have Billy's love once he dies because he won't exist. So he better squeeze every last drop of love and enjoyment while he's got it.

Nihilist, goth, trust fund Steve? Chasing the money at first only to abandon it to run away with Billy because nothing matters in the end (positive)?

Delicious. YUM.

The Harringtons could send him to the moon in an orange jumpsuit and it couldn't change his view of the world or how he behaves. Goth is music, and the messages in that music are something that never goes away.

In the flashbacks seen by Eleven, we see Billy on the phone begging his mum to come and pick him up, and her saying no. She is not coming to get him. Billy is asking someone he loves and trusts to please come and help him, and he is experiencing major rejection for presumably the first time from her. Billy’s mum is at the end of her rope with Neil, she’s left, and she no longer has the ability to help Billy. 

Billy’s mum’s reservoir of help, her level of assistance she’s able to provide, has been drained to zero. She is no longer able to help. Her reservoir of assistance is empty. 

Personal anecdote time: When i was 10 years old, about the same age as Billy in that scene, i became homeless because my grandmother (who was looking after me) no longer wished to do so, her reservoir ran to zero, and she began abusing drugs and alcohol and bringing dangerous men into the home. A family friend took me in, but this only lasted 2 weeks before they could no longer handle the residual drama of my grandmother that followed me into her home. The family friend’s reservoir depleted in 2 weeks. I was then sent to live with my father and stepmother. Their reservoir lasted a year. 

Now, at the time, i wasn’t aware of this reservoir or had any idea what was happening in the minds of these people, i was too young to see things from their point of view. But what my 10-year-old brain DID pick up was that when you ask for help, you are on a timer. You don’t know how long that timer will last, but you know that when its over, that person can no longer be asked for help. So you better ask for help wisely, because you only get it once.

How many family members and friends took Billy in? How many family members’ reservoirs were drained to zero because of Neil Hargrove? Because they had an angry kid on their hands? Because they had a kid who was turning to violence?

How long did it take before everyone in Billy’s life, one by one, helped him and then realised they couldn’t go on helping him?

Fast forward to age 17. 

Billy is intimately, bruisingly familiar with the reservoir of assistance, and he knows without being able to describe it, that the reservoir is empty. There are no more people to call. There are no more houses to live in. There are no more family members or friends from football practice who can be relied on for help, and Billy knows their reservoirs only last a week or two, anyway. 

Billy doesn’t call for help because there is nobody to call. He’s called them all already. There’s no more help to give. 

Nobody is going to help him.

I am 33 years old, and relearning how to ask for help is one of the hardest things i’ve ever done. There are exactly 2 people in my life i feel comfortable asking, and i only ask them as an absolute dire last resort. Because of the reservoir. I like to think that when Billy is 33 and is no longer surviving, when he starts to live, he begins learning how to ask for help again. 

But one thing i know for sure is that Billy is always thinking about the reservoir and how much help is left inside it, and he knows that if you leave the faucet on and ask for too much, you’ll never ever get it back. 

I hope that one day Billy and I will both begin to trust that help and love is not a finite resource. I’ve come a long way in the last 5 years with those two people in believing that love is not finite.