[TW: Mentioned parent death, child abuse, and drug use/abuse]
Eddie never talks about his own problems because to him his issues seem like nothing compared to Billy’s.
Sure, his mom got sick and died when he was little, but no one could have done anything about it and she didn’t want go. Whereas Billy’s mom left him with Neil.
Eddie’s dad is a junkie and a criminal currently in prison, but he never laid a hand on Eddie. Whereas Neil hurts and terrifies Billy.
Billy is still living with Neil, thousands of miles away from home, his friends, and everything he knows. Eddie is save living with Wayne, still in his hometown, never having to leave his friends behind.
It takes years for him to open up.
They leave Hawkins for Santa Monica together, they live together, they sleep in the same bed, they fuck in that bed. That’s it. Because Billy has cried, yelled, told Eddie just about everything there is to know about him, but what does Billy know about Eddie? He’s a nerd and a metal head, that’s it.
They’re together, but it’s casual. No labels, no expectations.
The beach, the sunset, a joint passed between them, and Eddie spills:
He hated walking the streets he watched his mother fade away in. He couldn’t forget, not even for a minute, because she was everywhere; Melvalds, Benny’s, the library, even the trailer, her joy and laughter would follow him everywhere.
He hated living with Wayne. Eddie loves him and will always be grateful to him for taking him in, but Eddie shouldn’t have been his responsibility.
He hates his dad for making him Wayne’s responsibility. He hates him for never knowing if Eddie was there or not. He hates him for shooting up instead of eating whatever food Eddie had managed to buy with the change he dug out from between the couch cushions. He hates him for making him watch the one parent he had left fade away, too by his own hand.
Most of all, Eddie hates his dad for making him afraid to love, to let himself get lost in someone in case they fade away and Eddie will want to fade away with them.
And Billy… is wholly unequipped to deal with this. He watches Eddie stare out into the ocean as his nose turns red and tears stream down his face. It’s not until Eddie stops talking that Billy wraps and arm around his shoulders, and Eddie falls into him, sure to get snot and tears all over Billy’s shirt.
And Eddie tells him that he’s so, so glad to be out of that town. And he’s so, so glad that Billy his here with him, that he might be afraid, but that he’s still capable.
Billy tells him that he’s afraid too, always has been, to be like Neil, to act like him, hurt like him, but despite that and years of fear, he’s capable too. And Eddie has pissed him of plenty, but Billy has never bruised him with the intent to hurt the way Neil did.
He won’t fade. He tells Eddie he won’t fade away and he’ll be damned if he’ll let Eddie fade away.
And they’ll do it together.
