Survival Mode Enthusiast

That's the cops they send to shoot people having mental health crises

huh. something small but unexpected happened and it threw me off my rhythm. the whole day is ruined now. its gonna take me 3-5 business days to recover

my dad said he was gonna “eat this hummus with gay abandon” okay. have fun

at dinner people were talking about how much they cried during their weddings and my one cousin said she was SO determined not to cry, made it through the entire ceremony, but then during the reception her husband leaned over and asked 'hey, do you want me to get together a plate of roast beef and hide it in our room so we can have Night Meats?' and she went 'night meats?' and started sobbing because that was so romantic to her

Tony Hawk IS Forrest Gump

Think of it this way. This wasn’t ‘Weird Al got Tony Hawk to be in his video’, this was ‘Tony Hawk found a way to be in a Weird Al Video.’

the troubling religious implications in how the Grinch stole CHRISTmas. I saw a clip from the 2018 Grinch movie and the who’s sang the line ‘remember Christ, our savior.“ Which means a) there was a who-christ and b) there was a who-cifiction

this further implies that there was a jer-who-salem that who-Jesus visited, and he was sentenced to death by the who-romans

sorry yeah, you're actually not allowed in the grocery store anymore. yeah, everyone thought it was super weird when you were rummaging in your wallet for your debit card and it was making everyone super uncomfortable and taking a long time. sorry

A few years ago I got kicked out of a gas station before because I needed to borrow a pen to sign my check from work, but then I realized I needed to tear the edges off the stub to get to the check and I got anxious that I was taking a long time so I started shaking and getting nervous while the cashier just looked at me, a trembling teen in the middle of the night tearing up paper and sweating... and he kicked me out and asked for his pen back (which I never actually took, it was still on the counter...) (I mean who steals a pen, and even more so who cares if your desk pen was stolen?)

I love that heidi klum, international super model and tv personality, was like “I’m going to be a worm for halloween” and went for the most horrifying hyper realistic version possible and was quoted saying (in said worm outfit) ‘I want to put a smile on peoples faces’. ma’am I am gagging but I love that for u

This is horrifying and I love that Heidi Klum has this sense of humor

I want to know if they got answers. 

I really wanna know how this turned out.

cracking open 500 cold ones with the dads

I’ve seen this ad, but i can finally rest knowing what happened.

Good information to have.