Muahahaha!

I can't wait to be a wizard in one thousand years. it will be worth the effort and worth the wait

We can already reserve you a place in our ranks. You even get a free evil lair when you join.

Me when I'm Wizard

Ah, the cursed wizard phone agent - a powerful punishment for wizard's breaking league rules

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long

LINDSEY GRAHAM ?

We'd nominate you for an award, but to be completely honest, we're really uncertain if this actually counts as evil

Not everything is a curse, sometimes it’s just Tuesday

I actually curse people every Tuesday

Adventures broke into out meeting room and looted it this morning so, needless to say, there will be no jelly donuts, no black coffee, and no 550 gold pieces and a fine silver hair pin shaped like a squid today

They also took Alan’s Ergonomic Chair (wondrous) and he needs it for his back so meetings are postponed until a new one can be made

Alan can have one of our Evil ergonomic chairs of malefic fate ™️, they delivered us one too many.

"Oh no, the last Dark Lord was the one focused on Dark Conquest. My platform is focused more on Dark Agriculture and Dark Healthcare Reform."

and Dark Taxing The Rich of course

@wizard-council-bureaucrat I think there might be a ray of hope that one day eventually we can unify our organisations

of this post makes any one person unionize this old wizard will have don’t more good for the world than elon musk.

I was send on behalf of the minion union (the Nionnion) to tell you that unionizing is important to keep your boss from throwing you into a volcano or doing comparable harm to you.

Bothers me when the distinction between Witch and Wizard is drawn according to gender. The Witch/Wizard distinction is one of class. Wizards live in towers and have cursed artifacts. Witches live in shacks and have crooked teeth.

Both witches and wizards can be evil, of course. But when a witch is evil they turn you into a frog. When a wizard is evil they try to tear a hole in reality or raise an undead army. You don't see witches doing that shit because they're working class.

Undead armies aren't in the budget anymore. Tearing holes into reality is fun, though

Another victim of horse propaganda

This is how centaurs happen

Due to dire circumstance, The Wizard Council has decided to try and force a crab rave. All Wizards are called up to send crabs in support

🦀🦀🦀🦀

Oh silliam-william, only you and my evil advisor understand me