Ruthless

i'm sorry i wiggled your skinny boyfriend like a sheet of metal. weeop womp weeoop womp weeeoop womp

*looks at polyamorous triad* so which of you is the soldier and which is the poet and which is the king

That weirdo billionaire obsessed with stopping his aging/taking his son's blood to stay young has, as far as I can tell, taken a hero dose of shrooms that led him to fall in love with one of his employees(?) and is now attempting to use his wealth to find a cure for her endometriosis? Which like, sure

i love it when the final song on an album is called something like "goodnight" or "farewell" except for when the beatles did it because they sang about problematic themes and three of them got yhe fourth one pregnant in the early days when they all looked alike and nobody could remember which one it was so they all got abortions just in case

"become a fish" (gay)

men will jump through an entire circus' worth of hoops rather than admitting they're bi

The level of mental hoops that guy had to jump through to say to his wife, "No, honey! Of course I wouldn't be cheating on you! Sex during gaycations doesn't count!"

this is an insane story

Um…here’s the reddit link? I’m speechless.

Don't worry honey, all the other men on gaycation aren't real people and they stop existing after. Hey, where's all the homophoboa coming from suddenly?

That's the beauty of the gaycation!

I read the shithead guy’s rambling in Nagito Komaeda’s voice

"some men never return because they're "totally feminized" into the state of permanent "pseudo-gayness"" is my favourite line out of the entire post

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

Another good post to read for those writing small human characters. 

My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.

My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.

OH SHIT SHE’S THREE

the two year old bean is now 11, that’s how long this post has been going around, and I STILL bust out laughing like a maniac whenever I read ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’

Yeah, I’m not ready for foz’s kid to be a teen….

what the fuck

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

medieval troubadour gets isekaied into early 1970s england but ends up blending in perfectly with the local prog rock scene