women sneezing. that's it, that's the blog.

Detective Agnes

Three things I like:

That there was no question in my mind that she was gay. Agatha’s subconscious is SO loud. 😂 I never really picked up on the little hints in Wandavision (only upon rewatching did I notice the obvious), so I needed a much bigger slap in the face and Detective Agnes delivered. It’s almost been two years and I still can’t believe one of my favorite actresses played a queer witch — I seriously hit the fucking jackpot with this show. 🥰

I love that she was the closest thing to the “real” Agatha. She was a subconscious manifestation of her inner world, rather than performative, like all the other iterations of Agnes. Sad, cocky, gay, and relentlessly curious — all qualities that made it through the layers of fantasy Wanda had her buried under. One of the few things that didn’t quite make it out was her fashion sense. 😂

Who doesn’t love a mangy, wet cat of a woman? Look at her, you just know she gets sick a lot.

Three headcanons:

She has destroyed the sleeves of several flannels she refuses to get rid of, despite the fact that the washing machine could only remove so much of the mess from the fabric. Why would she waste tissues wiping her nose when her sleeves are right there? She does own a few handkerchiefs but even then, her sleeve is often more convenient.

She gets sick several times a year from overworking herself but rarely takes a sick day by choice. She goes to work sick as a dog, much to the chagrin of her colleagues, because she doesn’t want to be sick and miserable at home all by herself. 🥲 Not that she’s any less alone at work, confined to her office and snapping at anyone who dares to darken her doorway to ask how she’s feeling.

She strikes me as someone who would get some heavy chest/vocal symptoms. Like she gets laryngitis more than the average person and it pisses her off because if she has something to say, she wants to say it with her whole chest. Lots of junky-sounding coughs when she gets a cold. Nine times out of ten colds start in her chest and work their way up, so that by the time she’s sneezing she’s already so wiped out and over being sick, with a throat that’s shredded to hell.

Three scenarios:

I love the thought of her getting hit with a sneezing fit during an interrogation and trying to act tough through it. Even better if something about the suspect is setting her off and they know it. 😏 Or if she’s sick and barely able to ask the questions she needs to ask because her voice is barely hanging on.

I imagine she made up some imaginary beef with the K-9 unit so she doesn’t have to be around them as much. In reality she’s allergic to their dogs and doesn’t want anyone to know.

In a similar vein, I will never shut up about how proud I am of my fic “As They Seem.” I can’t take credit for the idea that she saw Señor Scratchy as a dog while under the hex, but I will definitely take credit for the magically-induced allergic reaction it caused. 🤭

Agent Rio Vidal

Three things I like:

Truly one of her hottest looks in the series (and one of Aubrey’s hottest roles period).

The way she is so gentle with Agnes, constantly assessing her responses and nonverbal cues and then adjusting her approach to make sure she isn’t pushing her too hard. 🥹

The way she is always SO AMUSED by her wife’s antics. 💖 That little smile and head shake she does. Girl has been down BAD for centuries. 🥰

Three headcanons:

Multi-sneezer. Typically doesn’t stop until she hits double digits. She’s so used to it that it’s practically a non-event, but it definitely catches the attention of people who don’t know her as well.

Photic. If she has to sneeze and she’s outside, she’ll tilt her sunglasses down, catch a glimpse of the sun, and let loose. Doesn’t matter if she’s in the middle of a conversation — she’ll keep talking between sneezes. It’s the other people in the situation who seem to have a harder time concentrating (kink!Agnes, anyone? 😏)

Allergic to something in Westview, though she’s not really sure what it is, only that she started sneezing A LOT more since arriving. (Spoiler alert: it’s Agnes’s cologne 🤭)

Three scenarios:

One that I’m working on now — Rio and Agnes driving somewhere late at night/early in the morning and Rio using the passing streetlights to induce (while driving 😱). I haven’t decided if she’s getting over a cold and still sensitive, reacting to Agnes’s cologne, or both. (I lied, it’s going to be both.)

After noticing the state in which Agnes lives, she offers to help her clean. Cue lots of dust sneezes that come on so quickly and fiercely she can barely get a word out between them. Meanwhile Agnes is standing there like 🧍🏻‍♀️ because she’s fucking useless akdjals