Hello! Welcome to a very niche corner of the internet. You can call me Ghost, or I will also happily answer to Ouro. I'm not picky about pronouns, but please note that she/her pronouns are reserved for close friends.
On this blog you will find primarily sneeze fetish (yes you read that correctly, I'm so sorry) and sickfic content, but also a fair amount of whump and a lot of hurt/comfort. I lean more towards colds/illness than allergies, but by no means exclusively. Panszual, particularly as a reader, but I tend to write almost exclusively M and NB snz content. (This is a fact I genuinely lament, but the horn wants what it wants and it wants to objectify men.)
DMs and askbox are always open, but:
- I am nearly 40 years old, please behave accordingly and make smart, safe choices if you are u18
- Ideally please be 25+ to DM me
- I am not interested in snexting with strangers of any age
A masterlist of my writing can be found here — Mostly OC, but a few fandom things more recently.
Tentatively also throwing out some fandom roleplaying/co-writing interests under the cut — will update as is relevant.
(I'm down to write any of these characters in either a snzing or caretaking role and for nearly any snz cause. Generally speaking the character I've listed as my primary interest is the character I'm most interested in/comfortable writing, but I'm certainly open to swapping that around. DM me if you want to maybe throw some words together!)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Primary character of interest: Rupert Giles
Pairings of interest:
- Jenny Calendar
- Ethan Rayne
- Olivia [surname not found?]
- I am coming around to Wesley Wyndam-Price, mostly as a platonic pairing, but feel free to petition for romance
- open to platonic dynamics with the Scoobies, but I will not pair him romantically with any of them
Cabin Pressure
Character of interest: Hercules the Bercules Shipwright
Pairings:
- Carolyn
- Douglas
- Platonically with anyone else
Tolkien legendarium
Character of interest: currently Maedhros, but honestly shoot your shot, literally everyone is a babe.
Pairing: Romantically Fingon (but feel free to petition for someone else), platonically pretty much anyone that makes sense.
The Invisibles (2008 BBC miniseries)
Character of interest: Maurice Riley
Romantically I'm really only down to pair him with Barbara, but I'm also extremely down for platonic shenanigans with Syd and/or Hedley, maybe even more interested in that actually.
If there's something else you think I might be interested in certainly feel free to ask!
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currently kind of obsessed with the idea of someone sneezing at a tissue/handkerchief rather than into it.
maybe it’s an accident. maybe it’s carelessness. maybe the snz came on too urgently or desperately for them to cover properly. regardless, it is hot lol
(Dunno if I need to say this for a 30 year old show, but: spoilers for season 2 of Buffy below the cut.)
I lover her sassiness
I love her competence
I love her fearlessness
I love ‘oh no, please, call me Jenny, Ms. Calendar’s my father’
I love her style
I love her brilliance
I love her forwardness
I love ‘I’ll see if I can make you squirm’
I love her feminist, anti-racist, anti-elitist, egalitarian critique of academia
I love that she’s open to reconsidering her first impression of someone when they’ve just made a moving speech about how the getting of knowledge should be smelly new information and depths become apparent
I love ‘that’s not where I dangle it’
I love that she’s complicated and messy and has a hard time figuring out what she wants (and will shoot you in the back with a crossbow about it)
I love that she took Giles to fucking monster trucks just because she knew he’d hate it
I love that she’s caught in an impossible situation and is trying so hard to do right by everyone involved and when it blows up in her face she’s determined to make it right. (Not that it was even her fault, her uncle sent her in there with fucking nothing. She was a lamb to the fucking slaughter.) And almost fucking succeeds because she’s absolutely brilliant. I hate that she dies, but I love that the reason isn’t actually for the emotional torment of the survivors, that’s secondary fun for Angel, first and foremost, it’s because she’s a fucking THREAT. It’s because she’s so fucking good at what she does that she’s too dangerous to live.
I love whatever hungover, ADHD, bisexual chaos is happening here:
I just… I want to marry her, okay?
Anyway Headcanons!
- Never sneezes just once, but whether 2 or 3 at a time is unpredictable so after the second she’s always just kind of hanging there uncertainly? Waiting to see if there will be another?
If she sneezes a fourth time she KNOWS she’s getting sick. And has been known to mutter “oh no/oh fuck” out loud, with genuine dread in her voice.
(Giles, for whom there is no consistency in the number of times he’s liable to sneeze, finds this predictability fascinating.)
- Probably not every year, but consistently enough to be a pattern, she gets an absolutely miserable summer cold. And it’s so infuriating because it’s not that unusual for he to have made it through the entire school year, working in a veritable petri dish, without catching anything, and then? Two to four weeks into the summer, when she’s supposed to be getting to enjoy her vacation, she gets completely steamrolled. It’s never just a mild cold, it’s always the kind that has you feeling heavy and gross and wretched, the kind were there’s no hope of mostly ignoring it and still going about your plans or enjoying yourself in anything.
Her non-academic friends “kindly” and “helpfully” point out that at least it’s convenient that it happens when she doesn’t have to try to work through it or get her classes covered. If looks could kill. This is the time of year when she’s supposed to get to indulge herself and have fun, and her idea of fun indulgence is very much NOT lying around sweating and feeling like ass.
- She’s one of those people who sometimes fans their face when a sneeze is kind of stuck and teasing and not quite coming to fruition, but only when she’s alone. (Giles witnesses it at some point when she doesn’t realize he’s stepped into her classroom between classes and he thinks it’s the most endearing thing he’s ever seen.)
When she’s not alone she scrunches her nose around in a way she thinks is subtle, but is not. Has also been known to absently rub at the bridge of her nose with a pencil when it’s itchy, without really noticing she’s doing it.
- Not especially loud sneezes, but decisive. Sharp and sibilant and forceful enough that they bend her at the waist.
- Steepled hands coverer. Or alternatively into her shoulder, especially if her hands are full.
- Okay, hear me out, I know there’s no evidence for this in the canon, but what if magic, if spells, have a physical, tactile presence that some people can feel? What if Jenny is one of those people? What it the sensation of it is a kind of buzzing, static-y thing? What if it’s… itchy?
Basically I’m saying what if Jenny is functionally allergic to spells?
- I could see her being once of us. And if she is, I think it’s the one sexual thing she’s actually shy about. Which is a problem when your boyfriend is both incurably intellectually curious and a lot more open to kinky bedroom shenanigans than you initially anticipated.
He wants to know everything. Has she always felt this way about sneezing? What exactly is it about it that she finds so appealing and arousing? Is it the sound? The visual? The sensation of it on her end? Is it the universality of it? The vulnerability? Is it just sneezing or does the appeal extend to, say sniffling as well? The blowing of one’s nose? Noses generally? What about coughing? Is that adjacent in a way that titillates? Is there anything he personally could be doing in regards to his own sneezing that would make the experience even better for her?
She’s retreating under the covers and she’s never coming back out and “oh my god Rupert, you have to stop”.
Scenarios:
Having gone well over the prescribed 3 for the previous 2 categories, I’m oddly having a hard time coming up with many scenarios, BUT:
It’s her and Giles’s fourth date, he’s asked her out to dinner somewhere not extravagantly fancy or anything, but nice-ish, and then some kind of art house movie that she’s going to tease him about even though actually it’s totally up her alley too, and she’s woken up the morning of with that telltale scratchiness in her throat. Soon joined by a runny nose, intermittent sneezing, and a tickly cough.
She could call and ask to reschedule of course, but so far their dates have amounted to:
1. A football game where they almost got blown up by Frankenstein’s running back.
2. Not really even technically a date, just hanging out together at parent-teacher night. Which got crashed by a bunch of vampires.
3. Monster trucks, which was mostly just a joke to see how far she could push him, how far his patience would hold out. And also got interrupted by Slayer business.
So she’d really like to get in one real date that doesn’t get cut short by an apocalypse and, ideally, make a good impression (because, y'know, she's not sure she did with the monster trucks, that might have been a step too far) so instead she doses herself up to the hilt with cold medicine, covers up the most egregious physical evidence with makeup, and offers up a prayer to any deities who might be willing to take pity on her that she get through this evening without fucking things up.
It goes okay at first, but unfortunately she’s miscalculated both how bad this cold is and how much cold medicine she can tolerate without ending up high as a kite.
Which backfires in multiple ways, because not only is it still pretty obvious she’s under the weather despite the drugs, but because she’s now kinda loopy Giles is becoming increasingly convinced (and concerned!) that she’s running a significant fever. To the point that he eventually, very courteously, inquires if he could please feel her forehead and is genuinely surprised that she isn’t overly warm.
At which point she has to sheepishly explain that yeah, no, she’s not feverishly delirious, she’s just accidentally robotripping. And then of course she has to explain what robotripping is. (I think he’s familiar with the concept once it’s explained — guy used to habitually get high on possession after all, I imagine he’s no stranger to recreational drug use — he’d just never heard the term before.)
Anyway, cue a lot of —
“Oh, Jenny, you should have said you were ill!”
“I didn’t want to ruin our first normal date!”
“And this is going swimmingly?”
And then of course he insists on taking her home, and upon learning what sort of supplies she has on hand insists on stopping to stock her up on appropriately therapeutic teas, and lotion infused tissues, and probably ingredients for soup —
“I’m not gonna make soup from scratch, Rupert.”
“No, I’m going to make soup for you.”
[Tiny little very touched and unused to being care for] “Oh.”
And he makes her tea and they snuggle on the couch and he makes judgy comments about whatever is on TV and she tells him he's a snob and then falls asleep on him (because maybe she is starting to run a little bit of a fever now — and is still, of course, kinda drugged) and he will never breathe a word to her about the fact that she drooled on him a little and probably her nose ran on his shirt and also she is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
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An.thony St.ewart H.ead reading an audiobook wherein one of the characters has the flu, complete with stuffyspeak, coughing, and ONE GLORIOUS SNEEZE
The audiobook for M.ixed M.agics (D.iana W.ynne J.ones) is almost impossible to find in the US, and it contains a LOT more stuffyspeak and a little more coughing, so if anybody wants it, lmk and I can point you in the right direction
The excerpts I chose:
He began coughing again. They had climbed to where it was bitterly cold.
.
“How do you know all this?” he asked bluntly.
“Have you heard of a god called Ock?” Ch.restomanci coughed. “He came to talk to me when you should have been the age you are now. He was worried—” He coughed again. “I shall have to save the rest of my breath for Heaven.”
.
Ch.restomanci looked up at Zond and thoughtfully blew his nose. It was hardly respectful.
“For what reason do two mortals trespass in our halls?” Zond thundered coldly.
Ch.restomanci sneezed. “Because of your own folly,” he said. “You gods of Theare have had everything so well worked out for so long that you can’t see beyond your own routine.”
1. Éowyn has one of the quotes from LOTR that has stuck with me the most intensely over the years, in answer to the question of what she fears if not death. ‘A cage; to stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.’
To me it’s such a good succinctly articulated and evocative expression of life as a woman in a patriarchal system. One sentence that covers so much about the lack of autonomy and self-determination.
And I think the bulk of her story encapsulates and explores that in some really heart-breakingly astute ways. She’s being asked, constantly, to give, with no regard for what she wants, and is essentially expected to be grateful for it. She’s forced to shrink herself, to be obedient and palatable and no one notices that she’s silently suffering. And you see the way that over time that can just absolutely grind the hope and meaning and willpower out of you until nothing feels like it matters anymore.
(‘I am no man’ obviously also always slaps of course.)
2. I love that she’s ready to throw hands at a moment’s notice. Often in defense of those who aren’t taken seriously, but I like that there’s a sense that even beyond that she’s just down to fuck somebody’s shit up at all times. And I love that about her. She is so done with everyone’s bullshit.
3. As much as I find the end of her arc a little too close to an almost Taming of the Shrew, ‘saved from herself by the love of a good man’ type of trope, I do love that once she gets over her ‘Do I want to fuck Aragorn or do I want to BE Aragorn’ crush, the man she actually falls in love with is the biggest softboy nerd in Middle Earth — a total antithesis to the kind of masculinity that has been put on a pedestal her whole life.
Bonus fourth thing because this very quickly veers into headcanon territory, but I love whatever the fuck platonic bromance bff thing she has going on with Elfhelm (the one Rohirrim who pretty clearly knows who she is when she disguises herself as a Dernhelm) is, and I like to think the ride of the Rohirrim wasn’t Dernhelm’s first outing, that Éowyn and Elfhelm (and Maybe Háma too) have been sneaking out to get up to shenanigans together since they were kids, with Éowyn in the guise of Dernhelm.
Snz/adjacent headcanons:
1. This is maybe less strictly headcanon than expansion of actual canon, but I think she is just… the worst patient. I don’t think that was unique to the houses of healing and the context of the war, I think she’s just always like that.
2. I think she sneezes in fits and I think she hates it. (Faramir thinks it’s adorable.)
3. Okay, I know we do not know for sure that pipeweed is pipeweed, and Théoden professes ignorance of the habit of smoking it, but given that we also know that Saruman, who is not far away from Rohan, has a stash and it’s not unreasonable to think some of it might have gotten around to some of the Rohirrim, hear me out — stoned Éowyn sneezes.
Scenarios:
1. Related to the idea that she’s a terrible patient I think solicitous, doting, slightly anxious husband Faramir vs stubborn, belligerent, hates to be confined to bed wife Eowyn is full of great potential.
2. Related to stoned sneezes and the idea that Éowyn, Elfhelm, and Háma are bffs — late night smoking sesh wherein they are all very giggly and Éowyn is having A Time of it.
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Send an ask with the name of an 18+ character from a fandom I know, and I’ll answer with:
3 things I like about them
3 snz/adjacent headcanons
3 snz/adjacent prompts or scenarios
If you want, you can specify things like snz cause, fluffy/angsty/spicy/etc., involvement of other characters/ships, point in timeline, etc.
Feel free to reblog with a list of fandoms if you’d like to get these asks too! Just don’t reblog to non-snz or non-snz-adjacent blogs please ❤️
It’s 100% okay to skip a category, do more/less than 3 for anything, or narrow down characters that people can send (e.g. prefer 1+ gender, main cast only, etc.). Zero pressure for answer length or anything else, these are just for fun :3
Going feral over voices that sound so nasal and congested.. their m’s and n’s sounding like b’s and d’s… and when they sniffle its just a tight squeak but their nose is so sensitive from their cold or allergies that it still makes them sneeze 😩
GUYS. Sneezing on call? Sneezing on FaceTime? I feel like especially since a lot meaningful connections and friendships for people with this kink are formed online, these moments/tropes deserve ALL the love. Not only is it just adorable, but it can come with so many variations.
For instance:
Do they mute themselves? Move away from the speaker in an attempt to spare whoever they’re talking to from their outburst?
Or perhaps they remain right where they are, one hand already preoccupied with their phone and the other scrubbing at their nose. Do they sneeze openly? Right into the speaker? What does that say about them as a character?
The same thing goes for video calls. Do they shift out of the camera’s view, so that all that can be seen is a trembling shoulder, but the sneeze is still completely audible, if not even more so?
Or the exact opposite, perhaps they fumble to mute themselves but sneeze completely on camera, the low graphics potentially exaggerating a light spray?
Maybe they do neither, sneezing on full display once, twice, three times!
And of course because it’s a phone call, the person on the other end can only watch and listen. Maybe they hear things they wouldn’t have noticed before; the desperation of a hitch, the audible wetness on the end of a “n’TsCHieWw!”, the liquid sniffle that follows.
Do they have the kink? Are they struggling to stay composed themselves, surreptitiously holding the speaker right up against their ear in an attempt to hear every last detail?
Maybe they’re a vanilla, happy to offer many blessings and affections, as well as some comments/observations on allergy/cold season
When I say the possibilities are endless, I mean endless. Not to mention the inherent realism of this situation. Like, look me in the eyes and tell me you’ve never sneezed on the phone at least once hehe
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I will always love, in snzfic or just media generally, the moment in dating where a character sees their partner sick for the first time. And there's that moment of 'oh, seeing you like this crystalizes something for me about the way I feel about you — I love you even wretched and pitiful like this. I love you MORE having now seen you wretched and pitiful like this'.
