My Girlfriend Wanted A Better Way To Share Memes

They're always in and out of the water – lake swims, pool swims, hot tub, showers – so doing his curl routine each time would be crazy when he could be spending that precious time sucking his boyfriend's dick.

Shane's not the biggest fan of how Ilya's styling products feel. He'll tolerate it, but Ilya can tell by his face that the texture isn't his favourite. Less product = more hair touching.

Shane's hands are always in his hair. When they're kissing. When they're watching a movie. When they fuck. When Ilya sits with his head in Shane's lap. When they're napping on the couch together. Shane's hands are usually full of a handful of Ilya's curls.

Shane seems to really like it. One time Shane said Ilya's fluffy hair made him look like a duckling and he's been chasing that high ever since.

Unless.

You consider that the Metros know that Shane absolutely does know how to fight. They've all done checking clinics with Shane. They've all wrestled and roughhoused with Shane. He's strong and he's fast and he wants to win.

The Metros understand that Shane doesn't fight, not because he can't, but because he's a little too good at it. And Shane generally doesn't even like violence. He likes to win by playing the game, not hurting the other team.

(my own photos)

Not only they, but the entire Mojave ecosystem is still struggling to adapt since the loss of ground sloth dung. their chief fertilizer.

Many, many trees and plants in the Americas have widely-spaced, extremely long thorns that do nothing to discourage deer eating their leaves, but would've penetrated the fur of ground sloths and mammoths. Likewise, if you've observed a tree that drops baseball or softball-sized fruit which lies on the ground and rots, like Osage Oranges, which were great for playing catch at my school, chances are they were ground sloth or mammoth chow.

You can read about various orphaned plants and trees missing their megafauna in this poignant post:

if i shouldn’t use my cane because i can sometimes technically walk without it, it would just hurt like a motherfucker then abled people should no longer be allowed to use potholders to take things out of the oven because i mean

“Hollander, I have a very important question to ask.”

“What?”

“It’s the biggest question I could ever ask you.”

“Ilya, we’re already getting married.”

Ilya grinned, and wrapped his arms around Shane’s waist, pulling him close. “Will you…” he paused for effect. “My beautiful fiancé….” Another pause. “Move in with me?”

Shane shoved him, forcing Ilya to break into laughter and whining, “Nooo, come back, is very important question.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Is that a yes?”

The only exception was whenever he or Ilya slept over. Their time together was so limited that Shane sacrificed his strict 10 pm bedtime and 6 am run for evenings spent in Ilya's arms and lazy mornings in bed together.

So the first time Ilya really becomes aware of this habit is after Shane moves to Ottawa. He wakes up, careful not to disturb Ilya, and sneaks out of their bedroom and when Anya wakes up to the sound of him moving around the house, and starts whining at the door, what is he supposed to do other than take her with him on his run?

When Ilya eventually gets up, Shane is back home, freshly showered and sitting on one of their barstools, enjoying his morning smoothie. Ilya appears, bleary eyed eyed and half-asleep, in a robe and wordlessly places a kiss on the crown of his head before gathering Anya's leash and whistling for her to come so they can walk around the garden and she can take care of her business. Shane tells him that's not necessary, they went for a run this morning and Ilya reacts as though this is high treason. He accuses Shane of robbing him of quality time with his daughter and leaving him out of family bonding. It's mostly done in jest but Shane can see that there's a grain of something there.

My daughter? She's great. She actually just played her first hockey game. The hockey gear was bigger than her but man Ilya and I were so proud. Wait, actually I have photos – gimme a sec.

Our son actually got the lead in the school play. Yeah Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer himself. I mean yeah, it's the nursery school play. No no, you have it right – he's just over two and a half. He beat out all the four-year-olds for the part though, crazy right? Wait, I have a video, I'll send it.

"I'm just thinking about when we met. There should have been some sort of sign."

"There was, you pointed out the no smoking sign, was first thing you said."

Shane smiles, "sure but it just seems crazy to me that I met you and no one told me that I'd just met the most important person I'll ever know."

Ilya felt like he'd just been sideswiped by his husband. It was so like Shane to just be thinking the most romantic thing Ilya's ever heard while Ilya's playing candy crush.

"I thought that I'd found the thing that would make me happiest in the world already, and I did, because hockey led me to meeting you. It's just crazy is all"