I’d like to revisit this for a second. Jannik learning about this side of himself and not knowing what to do with it, just knowing that this thing has gotten out of hand. because yes he’s aware he’s a control freak everywhere else but that’s different. that's normal, expected, even. he’s always dated women, he’s never explored anything remotely like it because that’s just Not How You Treat Women. but Carlos is definitely not a woman and he seems to be very into it, Jannik isn’t blind, he can see it. so I’d love to see the slow process of accepting that This is Fine. say the next time they’re at dinner alone for some reason, Carlos doesn’t even bother opening the menu, so Jannik asks offhandedly "what are you having?" and Carlos outright says “aren’t you ordering for me?” with the big cow eyes. he answers, “you should order for yourself” a little too harshly, and Carlos visibly recoils. and his first instinct is reaching out to hold Carlos's hand, but he stops because what is he doing, what are they doing, this isn’t rational, this is… “this is wrong, Carlos”. Carlos looks at him and asks, earnestly, “why?” and the conversation goes something like, “oh, so if I told you to throw a match, you’d do it?” “I… would you?” “throw a match for you?” “no. tell me to do it.” and now Jannik is the one who recoils in horror. “of course not, why would I—" and then he notices Carlos smiling smugly. fuck. “fuck.” “yeah, that too,” Carlos says. and Jannik’s mouth falls open but before he can say anything else, the waiter arrives to take their order and Carlos is staring at him expectantly, like it's his move now. Jannik looks at the menu. back at the waiter. back at the menu. “perhaps you need a few more minutes, gentlemen?” Jannik looks up at Carlos, who’s still staring at him with a hopeful expression. he clears his throat and turns to the waiter. “no, it's okay. I'm ready.”
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