Willow's Rain

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They fight like it’s on the calendar. Sometimes it’s about nothing; over before it’s begun. Sometimes it’s with words dense enough to build a brick wall between them. Really, they both have too many holes already to be poking any more in each other. 

No one dared approach the old castle anymore, many having disappeared after trying to plunder whatever valuables were left behind. Those who survived, came back quaking in fear, weak, battered and bruised and talking about walls of eyes, rivers of blood, and shadows that hissed and snarled. At one point, they had attempted to burn it, only for the flames to be drowned quickly as the walls bled, soaking the surrounding land and tainting the earth and anything that grew there.

Despite all the warnings, you had always been rather drawn to the imposing castle, something about it seeming to tug gently at your heart. It was not a feeling you would ignore for long.

The village was not a particularly kind place to anyone different, and so it was no surprise when many of the bullies turned their attentions on you. You were weaker, smaller, Different. You became their favourite victim.

One day, sick of the adults looking the other way or reprimanding you for bothering them when you came to them for help, you went to the only place you knew they wouldn’t follow you. As soon as they saw what direction you were heading, they gave up, turning their cruel attentions onto other things.

You knew if you went back, they would simply start up again, so instead, you decided to finally fulfil your curiosity. The trek was long and difficult thanks to the overgrown track, but eventually, you found yourself facing the large castle. You could feel no “evil” as the villagers claimed, but you could feel something. 

For a time, you explored the courtyard, choosing not to try to enter the castle itself. It was beautiful despite its decay, many plants having overtaken the area, all of them looking slightly off. Drawn to the roses, you wandered closer, sitting down gingerly and gently running your fingers over the strangely dark petals, even the leaves appearing far darker than was natural.

Eventually you had to leave, so as not to be caught out at night, but your little visit started the beginning of something. Soon enough, you were spending most of your days in the courtyard of the castle, doing your best to avoid your usual bullies and the harsh words and stares of the adults. 

With the newfound freedom, you took the time to sneak away what books you could get your hands on, teaching yourself to read them better, knowing that you would not be caught here. Sometimes you would sing to yourself, dancing and twirling and feeling a spark of life bloom in your heart once more, simply relishing in the lack of judgement and cruelty.

At some point, you started to notice how the roses would perk up at your arrival, blooming more fully and leaning towards you as though you were the sun itself. Still, you never dared enter the castle itself, not wanting to push the boundaries of the safety you were afforded here. Not until one day.

Sighing, you mourned your inability to find new reading material out loud, silently stroking your fingers over a rose, and pretending not to notice how it almost nuzzled into your touch. You had grown comfortable here, and begun to take comfort in speaking to the roses themselves as if they could hear you. The sound of large doors creaking and groaning, nearly sent your heart into your throat, and nervously you looked upon the now open entrance to the looming castle. 

It was an invitation, one you knew could spell your end. Still you mustered your courage, standing slowly and making your way into the dim castle. Despite its decay, it was still beautiful, proof of its opulence available where ever you looked, though the scars of battle could be seen from time to time. Part of you could almost imagine it in its prime, a sight you would have loved to see.

Something seemed to guide you as you silently let your feet carry you deeper and deeper into the forbidden domain, your heart fluttering nervously in your chest as you felt a strange gaze upon you. You stopped before two large doors, watching as they silently swung open for you, baring what seemed to be a private library, filled to the brim with more books than you had ever seen before.

In a daze, you entered, looking around in the hopes of seeing the one who offered you such an opportunity. You found no one, and so instead spoke your tearful thanks to the air itself. For a moment, you could almost feel your watchers surprise.

From that day forth, your feet would guide you to the castle, and it would open its doors to you invitingly, providing you sanctuary, and access to a wealth of knowledge. It was more than you could ever have asked for or expected, and you made sure to give your thanks each and every time. You saw none of the horrors that so many spoke of, though you could always feel a gaze from all around you. You welcomed it, talking to the empty air much like you had done the roses, a strange sort of companionship forming.

Not all could go so well, as unfortunately your bullies never ceased their attentions whenever you were near. Some days you would arrive meek and bruised, and you could almost taste the anger in the air. Your disappearances received more and more scrutiny over the years, until one evening, it came to a head.

The beating you received that day was brutal, and the threat of the future was suddenly all to real. Battered and broken, you fled despite the dying light, running even as your body cried out, desperately seeking the one place where you felt protected.

Lost in your grief and fear, you never noticed as your feet took you down a different course. Your vision blurred as you ran, fighting back your tears as you raced down unfamiliar hallways. Eventually you came to a stop in a large room, the shadows thick enough that you couldn’t even see your hands before your face.

Finally your body gave out on you, and you collapsed to the floor, tears streaming down your face and mixing with the blood that flowed from your cuts, smearing against the floor below you. You felt the change in the air, though you had not the mind to focus on it in your despair.

Looking around, you see a room much like the rest of the castle; dust coated the stone floors, spiderwebs occupying the corners, and vines growing over the broken glass in the window.

Piled next to the bed where you sit is a cloak; dusty and dark like the castle, with patches of clean cloth from where someone could’ve grabbed it.

A flower petal lands on your face, as if it was saying that everything was alright now.

The sky is red, and clouds like sheep dot it.

Slowly, you cover yourself in the cloak, and exit the small bedroom.

The gaze lands on you again, and you pay it no mind.

It stays until you exit the castle, and you rest against the courtyard’s inner wall.

abo au where they can purr 

We’ve all got them. Share 3 then tag your writer friends. Here are mine:

1. Whenever I’m struggling with a chapter, I always pull up a blank document and begin writing all over again…from scratch. It helps me detach myself from the stuff that wasn’t working. However, this does mean that I end up with a million Google Doc files with titles like CH4 THE VERSION THAT BLOWS, CH4 THE ACTUAL FINAL THING, and CH4 FUCKING CHRIST LET’S TRY THIS AGAIN. It’s a hot mess lmao.

2. Even after publishing my most polished drafts on AO3, I’ll read the newly uploaded thing obsessively and continue making small edits here and there, whether it’s to continue refining my syntax, diction, or even formatting. This can happen up to ten times within one day. I’m a perfectionist and nothing is ever good enough 🤦🏻‍♀️

3. I have the weirdest fucking brain farts, and sometimes I’ll just…not complete a phrase. My most recent ones have been the phrases “I cannot emphasize enough” and “in a deadpan manner” — for whatever reason, I always leave out the last word and I’ll end up writing “I cannot emphasize” and “in a deadpan,” EVEN THOUGH I’LL COMPLETE THE PHRASE IF I SAY IT IN A CONVERSATION. Whenever I go back to read any old bits of correspondence or previously posted chapters and see these errors, I just end up looking like the gif below because I’m just like LOL WOW I SOUND LIKE A DOOFUS, BUT AT LEAST PEOPLE ARE STILL NICE TO ME:

okay here are my silly writing quirks LOL

1. i almost ways have to write with music in the background. sometimes ill just have a single song on repeat for hours while i write, or i listen to classical music (aka: the Hannibal playlist lmfao). something about the music really itches my brain and helps me get into the gRoOvE

2. washing the dishes/walking my dog/on the cusp of sleep is where i come up with my vest one liners and fic ideas. and all of those things are when my hands are busy or my phone out of reach so im chanting whatever’s in my head so i don’t lose it LOL

3. more often than not, a fic is centered around a single line or small detail that i became obessed with. like the smallest thing (ex: Sakura’s eyes, a specific metaphor) will trigger an obessive and relentless writing session where time literally doesn’t exist and it’s just me, the screen, and the test on whether my fingers can keep up with the racing stream of thought LOL

3 Writing Habits of mine that are quirky: 

1. I come up with about 75% of my wips in the shower. I don’t know what it is, but apparently something about the hot water must trigger my writing senses. It’s terrible though because I’m always stuck trying to remember the entire scene I’m writing in my head which sounds absolutely brilliant then, but I know won’t translate 100% onto paper (or the laptop). I remember the ideas though, so I at least jot those down as soon as I can. 

2. Most of my fics are untitled or called “_____ fic for _______ (writing event)” in my googledocs. I’m terrible at coming up with titles. I have literally finished stories and sat on them for days at a time sometimes trying to come up with a title. Actually, at least five wips are currently sitting there titled just that way in my folders waiting to be named. 

3. I have excel sheets for most of the writing I do. I have one for my drabble asks, and I have one for any writing event I do (SessKag Week, GenmaWeek, KakaSaku Month, etc.). I like to have things organized and knowing I have that list of fics to keep track of or to write keeps me calm and lets me write without worrying. Also, there is a profound feeling of satisfaction in me when I highlight that font red and paint that excel sheet line in light pink signaling to me I’ve finished writing the fic. That feels so good! 

My writing quirks:

1) i write exclusively on my phone, in the notes app that came ON THE PHONE. Nothing fancy. And I just keep them all saved in this basic notes app with each one called “title-ship-chap#” and I just. Scroll to find the one I need lmao. Very inefficient but it’s how I’ve been doing it and I am not good with change and anything more complicated than this will just confuse me 🤣

2) I don’t really edit much. I’ll look for typos and sometimes rewrite things if I think of a better way to say it but this thing about first drafts and final drafts? No thanks.

3) sometimes I’ll just write something totally horribly embarrassing and awful just to get it out of my system and then I’ll delete it all and never tell a soul. I’m sure I’m not the only one, but it feels like a fun secret lol and then the depths of my cringy depravity are never revealed

1. I write on my phone, in bed, without my glasses (which I desperately need) because the ideas come out better that way.

2. I will act out the dialogue in my car. I’ve been caught with the windows down before.

3. If I’m having a thought that NEEDS to be finished I can’t log it for later. I’ve been hanging out of the shower a million times typing out an idea because I *cannot lose this*.

I can write oneshots on my phone, but I can’t write chapters. I don’t know why.

When I can’t write, I take a shower. I usually get a breakthrough via shower thoughts.

I only truly edit after I post chapters. Thank God for AO3’s preview function.

2. I have a set music playlist for writing, doesn’t matter what it is that I am writing… smoots, sound of silence by disturbed.  Fluff? Sound of silence by disturbed, Angst, sound of silence… lol.  

3. I can’t go back and reread a chapter I just wrote, I either post and then go SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT EDIT EDIT EDIT or send to some of my dear friends and go DOES THIS WORK MAKE IT WORK HOW DO I MAKE THIS WORK ok it worked whew lol.

1. I’ve gotten in the habit of working on my stories in MS Word and then copying the story into Google Docs where I do some final editing instead of just working entirely in Google Docs.

2. I tend to do most of my writing late at night, in bed, on my laptop. (I envy people that can write on their phone. Being able to write whenever, wherever sounds amazing!)

3. I will jump around while writing to edit, do a once over when done, another once over after posting, and then never look at the story again. I think this is going to have to change eventually, but so far that is how it tends to go lol

1. Music is an absolute must, and I’m quite precious about it. I have endless playlists and will 100% make on for a specific piece of writing to catch the vibe. This will be listened to until the bitter end to keep the tone consistent, and sometimes I will stick a certain track on repeat if I’m trying to nail down a scene.

2. I cannot write efficiently enough for my liking with anything other than a mechanical keyboard. Flat Mac-style keys hate my long nails, a regular keyboard doesn’t quite click right, and I absolutely cannot write from my phone. It *can* be done in a pinch, but it will slow me down and afford me more errors. Mechkeys 4 lyf

3. I often think of ‘perfect’ lines at inopportune times, with every intention of remembering them later. Later comes, and I’ve got nothing.

1: I used to be able to write with music all the time or put a podcast/YouTube vid on for background noise but recently I can’t stand any noise and need complete silence. I don’t know why 😭

2: I think about the next scene in a chapter fic on repeat like a film until I write it, so it’s basically bothering me at work, before sleep and in the shower.

3: I’ve been typing so much on my phone that my fingers have started cramping. My index finger is the worst offender haha I should probably stop and type on a laptop.

2:  I have a terrible habit of getting distracted mid-sentence, and just start thinking about other things.  After I finish a fic, I’ll see where I’ve gotten distracted and find that I’ve repeated adjectives, phrases, or just left a word in that I didn’t need anymore.  The worst part of this is the fact I usually find these errors AFTER I’ve posted my fics everywhere.  Ugh.

3:  All my fics have one word titles, and each fandom has its own title “theme.”  Inuyasha fics are birds, FullMetal Alchemist fics are sciences, Mass Effect fics are space terminology, Let’s Play fics (if I ever write another) will all be flowers, and Kingdom Hearts fics (again, if I ever write another) will all be tropical fruits.

Oof, where do I start? 

1. There’s usually one thing that inspires me to write a fic. It’s usually one specific scene, and then I start doing mental calisthenics to figure out how I can create point A so that it’ll flow to point B, with point B being the scene that I *actually* want to write. And then I get obsessed with that one part, replaying it over and over in my head while making minor changes to make it as *perfect* as possible. 

2. I get bored while I’m writing. So a lot of times, I’ll jump around in terms of the different scenes, and I’ll write out half of point A, then leave a few blank lines, and then skip over to point B to actually write that out. Then I get distracted by a new idea and the fic stagnates in my google docs for a while before I pull it back out and try to fill in the gaps between scenes as best as I can. 

3. I can’t listen to music while writing, but I do assign certain songs to certain ideas, especially if I’m obsessing over specific scenes. So that way when I’m in the car, I just turn on that song, and start replaying the scene over in my head while making fine adjustments. I also assign certain songs to certain characters. I’ll playing “Songs the Night Sings” by The Dark Element for Al, “Viva la Victoria” by Eclipse or “Mezame” by Yuki Kajiura for Ed. I don’t have a song yet for Roy, so I’ll take any suggestions anyone has for him! 

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