why did they give up their hands?

if i do something wrong they kill me

people needdddd to wear headphones in public because while on an otherwise very lovely walk in the park today i saw a guy sitting under a tree watching a porn parody of the star wars prequels

if nothing else trying to tune out the sounds of anakin and padme going to town as i contemplate the babbling brook gave me a brief but vivid window into what it’s like to be obi wan kenobi

omg finally

i’m going to blow up everything forever.

bought a zucchini and the clerk trying to key it in was like I’m so sorry can you tell me what this is. brother never be sorry for having an inquisitive mind

Breaking news all sports indefinitely cancelled because we have lost tbe ball

I think the "pre" and "post" parts in "preposterous" should cancel each other out but everyone else seems to find my idea completely erous