the choice at the crossroads was not ours alone

skipdivorce is fun to me bc I have no stake in scott and kip as characters. if shane and ilya got divorced I would kill myself

ilya and shane hearing about the skip divorce and ilya is like “i always knew they would never last. they were not compatible.” and shane sucks his dick because he used the word compatible and it that’s like a sleeper agent call for shane to suck dick on command and then after he’s done sucking dick like the split second after he swallows he’s like “yeah they were always gonna get divorced.”

everywhere on socmedia so much #progressive posting is like “never met a single zionist that is not ugly” “how u age when u r unproblematic” “ur face card when u support trans rights” on loop

oh that reminds me that i invented an entire backstory for ilya’s mom irina in the shower. where at 19 she worked at a cafe near the kremlin and ilya’s father would come in to the cafe all the time and took her out to dinner a few times. and then irina’s twin brother has a mental health episode and is arrested, and she has to go beg grigori to intervene and get her brother sent to a hospital instead of prison. which grigori does, and she knows she owes him after that. and then her brother kills himself 5 months later anyways, and it’s just irina left. so when she gets pregnant with alexei, she may as well keep the pregnancy and marry grigori, who will at least provide a life for her.

so many bands write songs about “relatable issues” that don’t resonate while the mountain goats write songs about issues no one has ever experienced before that are universal

Guy who never feels like his problems are “bad enough” to be taken seriously: what if I hurt the character so horrifically that everyone around them could not possibly deny the severity of their pain even if the character themself tries to downplay it.

villain character who has a last minute change of heart and sacrifices their life to defeat an even bigger bad but it entirely does not land as a redemption with the heroes. the heroes are just like "oh hell yeah two birds with one stone. thank fucking god i really didnt wanna have to deal with that guy anymore. good riddance."

Most annoying online emotion is "I have a funny personal anacdote to add to this but it doxxes like all of my personal information"

recommending The Thief is like. yeah I know it’s drastically below your reading level but the sequels are progressively more mature. yeah I know it’s a lot of hiking and myth-telling but the end is so good. but also. if you could read it knowing everything about what happens after, every single sentence is a master class.

t shirt that just says WHATEVER YOU’RE READING INTO MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE YOU’RE MISINTERPRETING

*moving expired potions from the shelf labeled Healing to the shelf labeled Poisons*

*moving expired Poisons to the shelf labeled Potential Mountain Dew Flavors*

I took a bus to a conference today and the bus driver fully stopped the bus to identify and chastise a person who was playing music out loud on their phone. That is how you get me to actually complete the customer service survey specifically so I can give you top ratings

It's days later and I'm still thinking about this man. Full ass bus pulled over to the side of a state highway with the hazards on, stalking down the center aisle intoning "ALL RIGHT. WHO'S GOT IT. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ON SPEAKER." I want to commission a statue of him. a hero. a king.

too many people seem to think certain ships would officially start going out and put a label on their relationship and sometimes even go so far as to get married. but most of the time said ships would really just be freaks and fuck weirdstyle without addressing the elephant in the room that is the mutual romantic attraction