the choice at the crossroads was not ours alone

you're not making enough of stone fruit season. that's another thing you're fucking up. a few dozen stone fruit seasons you get your whole life. you need to take a hard look at your peach and mango consumption.

How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton

I can't believe some people are actually reblogging this like "Tch. Omg, so embarrassing OP, I can't believe you would ever admit to liking Hamilton 😏 " like ok, first of all congratulations for hatching as a fully formed adult in 2022 from the pure white egg of a virgin swan i guess. Raised in a cave on a diet consisting solely of nuts and berries and leftist twitter clapbacks. "ooooooh, I've never had a complicated relationship with a piece of art that was phenomenally well-received at the time but aged like milk as later reflection revealed the fundamental flaws in its premise that were in fact present from its inception but which I didn't notice because I was 17 and hadn't heard of neoliberalism yet" Should we throw a party? Should we invite Anthony Fantano? Anyway second of all. you draw the line at Lin Manuel Miranda but you're fine with basement guy?

THE FRENCH FUJOSHI: and you will put ze tips of your penise togezher, oui? and you will insert yourself into 'iz boyhole, oui?

how is it almost 2016 wasn’t it like 2009 a week ago

hello allo person in a fandom. let’s play a game. in front of you are two characters. your challenge is to okay and you’ve already started shipping them. well the crusher machine is going to activate now goodbye.

computer. die young by kesha. loud enough to kill

okay. breathe. listen to my voice. can you tell me five things in this room you can fuck?

okay great. now list me four things in this room you can kill.

beautiful. there you go. okay. now: tell me three things you can impose unjust taxes on.

almost done. can you list two things you could shove in a pipe and smoke?

last one: one thing you could use as a makeshift weapon?

why are you still crying

(three decades into my life) sorry I wasn’t paying attention, can we start again?

i dont mean to victim blame but why do these vampires keep talking to daniel molloy when they know he's daniel molloy

so ummm welcome to my jar:) lemme show you around! theres some holes poked in the top so i can breathe, theres some leaves to munch on, and ive even got a twig! #mytwig

they dont tell you this but like half of adulthood is just washing the same FUCKING pan

WASHING THE FUCKING PAN AGAIN!!!!!

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep