young and a menace

never i repeat never put on time warp at a party unless you want the theatre kids to destroy your house

a bold assumption to think I would allow theatre kids within even 500 feet of my home

There’s no frog in tom holland’s mouth, that’s just the marvel spoilers begging to be let out

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

its like ive never seen herbivore

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

It is going to be a weird day when people start referring to the 90’s as the late 1900’s

WAIT

the other day at work, i asked a woman her name– like i do for everyone, because we have to write it on the cup–and she goes “we come in here all the time. you should really know our names by now” as if i don’t serve hundreds of people a day or as though a nondescript middle aged white woman made such an impact upon me that i’d remember her. i was feeling pretty impatient and irritable though, so i covered my name tag with my hand and asked her my name and she didn’t know it and at least had the decency to change demeanor from haughty and superior to sort of quietly embarrassed and i’m fairly sure that’s the only thing i’ve ever done at work that matters to me. 

The baristas that recognize us usually just add a, “What’s your name again?” They don’t remember mine, I don’t remember theirs, but we know faces because names are abstract pieces of information 

I’d be a little weirded out at a barista who remembered my name. But remembering my usual order, that’s just thoughtful and makes me feel appreciated.

I work at a bank and people still do this. “I’ve been banking here for 26 years. Everyone should know me. I shouldn’t have to show you my ID.” 1) WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU RATHER I NOT ASK AND POSSIBLY GIVE YOUR MONEY TO LITERALLY ANYONE 2) I have only worked at this bank for seven months!!! People are idiots.