I'm Sorry There's No Actual Butt Stuff.

I had a dream that this local rescue had taken in a coyote that was pregnant with half-chihuahua babies, and I was like oh, a half-coyote half-chihuahua? sounds great, I'll take one

"the most unrealistic thing about project hail mary is that a woman is in charge" WRONG look up the glass cliff. women are much more likely to be promoted to positions of power when things are going poorly and people need a woman to blame. she refers to herself as the "world's whipping boy." the person put in the position to have to commit ecological and humanitarian crimes of that scale in order to save the earth would only ever be a woman.

Scientific fraud is the most baffling thing ever to me like do they think they're just going to make a huge breakthrough and no one will notice that it's fake by trying to replicate their results

i need to get into cars

they have doors which help with this

Audio: Windows USB connect and disconnect sounds

wait but if i have a self-destructive relationship with guilt and responsibility and you have a self-destructive relationship with guilt and responsibility then who's sacrificing themself to ensure that this plane stays flying long enough to have a chance of landing safely

oh. we. we made it. we're still alive. both of us. wow. yeah, no, it's fine i just... wow. i did NOT see that one coming! did you... no no no this is great!!!!!!!!! it's perfect, actually. couldn't be better. well, what now, huh?! i don't suppose you made any plans for what to do afterwards if you... no? no, of course not. well, that's fine. everything's fine. isn't this great? aren't you happy? i'm SO happy. there's no one alive happier than i am! because i'm still alive. yep. that's right! still here. still right here. hey, isn't that funny? after all that, it just... worked out in the end! almost as if nothing ever happened at all! isn't that just crazy? doesn't it make you feel crazy? i don't even know what to do with myself now. i don't know what to do. i don't know what to do. i don't

"omg you remembered!" of course i did. I have a file on you

the mystery bruises you're getting aren't from anemia or something stupid like that. they're from me. i go into your house while you're asleep and softly hit you with hammers until i am satisfied

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app