Observin dem whumps

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

"how much is this in fahrenheit" *sends picture of 40.1° thermometer*

"bleeding out in an alleyway can u pick me up" "idk where i am just check my snap map"

"hey i just had a dream where you died can u reply rq"

"i ujst fel;l downthe staird LMSOOO"

"hey how did you clean up my puke from the carpet last time no reason"

Since the ai accusations are still being thrown around, here's how i personally like to use these GASP ai telltales. 🦄✨

Em Dashes (—)

To emphasize a shift / action / thought.

They're accusing us—actually accusing us—of using AI.

To add drama.

They dismissed our skills as AI—didn't even think twice, the dimwits—and believed they were onto something.

To insert a sudden thought. Surely they wouldn't do that to us—would they?

To interrupt someone's speech. "Hey, please don't say that. I honed my craft through years of blood and tears—" "Shut up, prompter."

To interrupt someone's thoughts / insert a sudden event.

We're going to get those kudos. We're going to get those reblogs—

A chronically online Steve commented, “it sounds like ai, idk.”

Semi Colons ( ; )

To join two closely related independent sentences / connect ideas.

Not only ChatGPT is capable of correct punctuation; who do you think it learned from in the first place?

Ultimate pro tip: use them whenever the fudge you want. You don't owe anyone your creative process. 🌈

- pale skin with a sheen of sweat, eyes unfocused

- flushed cheeks, lips cracked and bleeding

- lying very still with his eyes open and unseeing, too out of it to do anything else

- thrashing and crying out, trapped in fever dreams

- shivering violently, teeth clenched to stop them chattering, painfully cold even as he’s burning up

- blistering heat that pours off him in waves

- the way his skin is hypersensitive, so being touched - even carefully - hurts

- that fierce ache in his joints, the way it feels like his bones are cracking open

- damp cloths on his forehead and throat, which feel good at first but the fever heats them up almost immediately

- delirium that manifests as terrors and haunting memories which are normally hidden

- delirium that manifests as confusion and distress

- delirium that manifests like a truth-serum

- not knowing friend from foe; fighting against the ones trying to keep him safe

- burning hot tears

- trying to find a cool place on his pillow or on the bed

- fevers from wounds

- fevers from poison or drugs

- fevers from illness: flu, malaria, mystery diseases?

- that moment where he realises something isn’t right: “Does anyone else think it’s warm in here?”

- the world seeming unreal and shimmery, his vision blurring with the heat

- a character who’s been running a low grade fever for days, never enough to justify going home, but enough to make him feel pretty uncomfortable, until someone notices and forces him to go home, and tucks him in bed and feeds him drugs and water and it’s only then that he realises how bad he’s been feeling

- another character inadvertently touching him, and exclaiming in shock: “You’re burning up!”

- temperature taking: someone else’s hand on his forehead (palm cupped for intimacy; the back of the hand of there are walls up between them)

- an old-fashioned thermometer in his mouth

- trying to take his own temperature with the back of his hand, but his hands are also too warm so it’s easy for him to dismiss it as nothing serious

- being forced into a cold bath (or jumping in himself): the violent shock, water so cold it hurts, shaking so hard he cramps up

- being soaked in sweat as his fever breaks, and suddenly being as weak and trembly as a kitten, all of the delirium-born strength gone

- recurring fevers, where he knows that any respite is temporary (and especially if his temperature climbs a little higher each time)

So many great injury and illness things, at the same time :)

Moving hurts

But no position is actually comfortable either

Fatigue, aches, and weakness from the fever

Shivering hurts

Breathing is hard

And it hurts

Breathing makes them cough

And that really hurts

Sleep is restless at best

But between fever, pain, and exhaustion they're barely there even when they're awake

And so many tender caretaking opportunities for all of the above.

Food and water/tea and medicine, probably with some coaxing and assistance

Adjusting and re-adjusting pillows and blankets

Cool cloths

Liniments / poultices (or icepacks, depending on the era)

Support (physical and mental) through coughing fits and deep breaths

Comforting touches, to soothe and distract

I’ve been craving SickFic, so have some prompts and feel free to tag me here at @wordmage because I would love to see your takes on the prompts below. Feel free to add more, or use it for RP/art, whatever. I plan to try and fill them all out, myself.

99.9% Immunity - (character) never gets sick, right? Wrong.

Elephant in the Room - (character) is sick, but for some reason - rank, personality, etc - no one is talking about it

Heroes Don’t Take Sick Days - there’s no time to rest when you have to save the world, so (character) has to push themselves even when miserable

Insult to Injury - as if being injured wasn’t enough, (character) is getting sick too

Ill Timed - it’s the worst possible time for (character) to be sick, but their body didn’t get the memo

Irreplaceable - (character) is the leader/boss and isn’t able to take personal time off, even when they’re under the weather

It’s Nothing - (character) insists they’re fine, right up until they collapse

Medic Down - every group seems to have a primary caretaker. How do they handle it when (character) is the one sick?

Milking It - if (character) has to be sick, they’re at least going to get as much pampering out of others as they can

Not a Word - (character) said they don’t get sick, and isn’t in the mood for anyone to remind them while they recover

No Rest for the Wicked - the big bad (character) has more to worry about than the good guys

Open Secret - everyone knows (character) is sick, but they’re trying so hard no one has said anything

Persuasive Partners - (character) is sick, and refusing to stay put; their partner(s) give them a good reason to stay in bed

Stepping Up - boss/leader (character) is clearly miserable, so the others go out of their way to take as much of their workload as possible

Suffer in Silence - for whatever reason, (character) doesn’t want anyone to know they’re sick, and does everything they can to hide it

Take One Down… - (character) gets sick, and spreads it to the rest of the group

Team Mom/Dad - (character) is the one to always take care of others on the team

The Wolf Cries True - (character) has been known to exaggerate or even pretend they’re sick, only this time they’re telling the truth

This is Your Fault - (character A) was clingy while they were sick, and now (character B) has it

Behind Closed Doors - (character) has a solid public face, but in private they let themselves be taken care of when they’re not well

Bless You - (character) has a particularly sneezy cold, and may or may not be able to retreat from life to deal with it.

Don’t Speak - (character) has a horribly sore throat and is reduced to barely talking while they load up on hot drinks and soup to recover.

I’m Dying - (character) has a headcold and despite that not being anywhere near the worst they’ve ever been, they’re flailing about it to anyone who will listen

Judgement Call - (character) really isn’t feeling well, but has pressing obligations. Others could step up, but no one is as qualified. They choose to…

Painfully Polite - (character) has very strong feelings about how one should behave, and they are even more mindful when they’re not at their best, talking through a sore throat, trying not to cough, attempting to stifle sneezes, etc.

Misery Loves Company - (character) is under the weather and not up for much, but really appreciates having someone there. Even if that someone is sick too.

Stay With Me - (character A) rarely asks for help, but they’re feeling miserable enough to ask (character B) to keep them company a while.

With Kid Gloves On - it’s a known fact that (character) has trouble accepting help, even when they’re sick; the others have learned specific “acceptable” methods over time

›› refuse to admit they’re sick while literally swaying on their feet (“I’m fine.” immediately crashes into the couch and doesn’t get up for 2 hours)

›› that stubborn little forehead crease when they’re trying to pretend they’re not in pain but they definitely are

›› saying “I’m not cold” while shivering like a leaf and glaring at the blanket you’re offering like it insulted their honor

›› wearing like… 3 hoodies. and a beanie. and a blanket cape. looking like a lump of denial with a nose

›› flinching when they cough too hard, like it surprised them and they feel a little betrayed by their own body

›› that specific exhausted way of blinking, slow and confused, like their brain is buffering every time you ask a question

›› apologizing for being sick. like their immune system personally offended you. like they should’ve scheduled it better

›› getting clingy in that low-energy, wordless way. like reaching for your sleeve or sitting closer without saying anything

›› drinking tea like it’s a punishment. making a face after every sip but still doing it because someone made it for them

›› trying to pretend they’re still useful. doing tasks badly. insisting on helping and then immediately sitting down like “okay I need a nap now”

›› using exactly zero words to communicate for three days. just grunting and side-eyes and one finger raised when they need something

›› being deeply offended by how gross they feel. muttering “I hate this” every few minutes like their own mucus is their nemesis

›› standing up too fast and doing the classic “whoa. gravity’s intense today” stagger

›› texting you things like “bring soup. i am dying. goodbye” but then surviving anyway, unfortunately for the drama

›› finally accepting help after pretending they didn’t need it, and getting weirdly quiet when someone tucks the blanket around them just right

✧ Broken ribs suck. You don’t just “walk it off.” Breathing hurts. Laughing hurts. Existing hurts. Characters with rib injuries won’t be doing heroic sprints.

✧ Concussions aren’t instant naps. Dazed vision, nausea, dizziness, maybe even personality changes, but they’re not going to collapse neatly like in the movies.

✧ Blood loss is sneaky. It’s not just about dramatic pools of blood. It’s dizziness, confusion, and the body getting cold as circulation tanks.

✧ Adrenaline lies. Someone can take a serious injury and not feel it until the fight’s over. That “I didn’t realize I was bleeding until later” trope? Very real.

✧ Twisted ankles are brutal. One bad step and suddenly running is off the table. Even walking hurts like hell. Perfect way to ground a chase scene.

✧ Burns linger. Even small burns hurt more than most people expect. Blisters, infection risk, constant pain, it’s not just a cool scar later.

✧ Dislocated shoulders = useless arm. Characters can’t keep swinging a sword or firing a gun. They’re basically fighting one-armed until it’s fixed.

✧ Shock is a thing. Pale skin, trembling, rapid heartbeat, and eventually disorientation. A character might not even realize how bad their wound is.

✧ Stitches aren’t magic. Getting sewn up is painful and recovery takes time. They’re not instantly battle-ready after a needle and thread.

Yes, I got bored one day and decided to pinch myself with my tissue forceps while I was practicing sutures on a silicon mat. I’ve yet to practice suturing on flesh (like, say, a slab of pork meat), but my experience with suturing so far involves holding the edge of the “wound” on the silicon mat tightly with the tissue forceps and pulling it back a bit (if the way I’m describing it makes sense) as I push the suture needle through. Just pinching my intact skin with the tissue forceps was already unpleasant. How much more if it’s an actual wound and it’s being stitched up without an anesthetic?

guy who was extremely normal about every description given ingame about him being chilly from the cold weather

Whumpee rolled over in their bedding, hissing through their gritted teeth. Thunder shook the house. Quick flashes of lightning brightened the room sporadically. Their face flushed as if feverish, and sweat beaded against their forehead.

Leader sat themselves down suddenly, running their fingers through their hair, trying to push any fleck of warmth off their sweltering face.

Hot coals. That was the best description for what walking started to feel like. Whumpee found themselves breaking into a limp, still they continued to drag their feet, daydreaming about someone lifting them into a carry.

Whumpee curled in on themselves, shuddering in the corner. Every pore of their skin stung as if hail was being pelt against them. They brush their hand against their fine hairs? It felt like someone was yanking a wax strip. They try to chew food? Their gums ached, sore and useless. They just wanted it to stop, but even through their uncontrollable shivering, they just hurt.

Red splotches started to form across the back of whumpee's shoulders. They gulped, feeling the tightness of their chest as their esophagus worked. Here soon every sensation would burn.

"Caretaker?", Whumpee leaned forward in bed, looking failing to hide the sheepish expression forming on their face. They tried to reach back to their shoulders, but the pain was too much. "Can you... massage my shoulders?"

"Let me just sit down for a moment. I'm just feeling a little shaky is all." Caretaker lied through their teeth.

"Is there something wrong with my face?" Whumperee gave an awkward smile, not yet feeling the redness that tinted their nose and cheeks.

chatty characters pale-faced and silent

quiet and reserved characters rambling deliriously

character who always resorts to humour clearly trying to think of a quip but coming up empty

no-nonsense character so loopy that they can’t stop giggling

a stoic character’s hands trembling in panic

an easily frightened character so far out of it that they aren’t aware of what’s happening to them, much less afraid

intelligent characters who can’t think straight

protective (self-sacrificial) characters letting someone else take the fall for them because they’re too weak to object

patient characters snapping at whoever comes near

affectionate character who wants to be alone

Step 1. Lab cleanliness and Safety

- In all labs, no matter what kind of science you're doing, it's important to keep a clean environment. (This isn't the same as a sterile environment, which you would need if you are doing any kind of major surgery.) Mostly, it's important to keep floors and walkways clear, to prevent tripping hazards.

- In most labs, latex gloves, pants, and close toed shoes are required. Long hair must be put up in a ponytail or bun. Sometimes goggles are necessary, but only when working with heat, pressure, or volatile chemicals. Eating and drinking in the lab is also expressly forbidden.

- In whump context, I would think that ensuring the ahem... test subject, is securely restrained would be of the upmost importance. You don't want your doctors getting bitten or scratched on the job.

Step 2. Experimental Design

- This is something I see a lot of writers misunderstand and it's a pet peeve of mine. Before you can start torturing your Whumpees, first you gotta ask: "What are the scientists trying to figure out?"

- For example, lets imagine a whumpee with very fast healing. The scientists studying them might want to figure out exactly how fast their healing works. So do they just start cutting Whumpee into pieces willy nilly? Nope. They gotta be systematic. Here's how I would design this experiment:

Independent Variable (The thing that you change): The amount of flesh removed from Whumpee.

Dependent Variable (The thing that you measure): The amount of time it takes for Whumpee to heal.

Levels (The different values of the independent variable): 5mm², 10mm², 100mm², etc.

Replicates (The amount of times you repeat each level): Should be at least 3

Control (The data you are comparing to): A normal human's healing speed.

Constants (Things that stay the same between trials): Same part of Whumpee's body, same time of day, same depth of injury, etc.

Cofactors (Other variables that could be potentially affecting your data): Stress levels of Whumpee, any drugs that might be in their system, conscious vs unconscious, hungry, etc.

- With all this in mind, you would run the experiment, with someone recording in a lab notebook real time. (Very important. Lab notebooks can be on actual paper or digital. Most labs use digital these days.)

- Once the experiment is done, you'd examine the data, see if there's any discrepancies or ways that the procedure could be improved, and run another experiment.

- Sometimes, questions answered from one experiment will give rise to even more questions. For example, let's use the healing Whumpee again. Let's say your scientist figured out Whumpee's baseline healing rate. But, they want to know if/how certain drugs affect Whumpee's healing speed. To figure this out, they'd conduct a new experiment, but this time, instead of changing how much flesh is removed, they'd make that a constant, and instead they would change how much of a drug they are injecting into whumpee.

- Experiments are meant to be repetetive and methodical, meaning that your Whumpee may very well have to go through the same thing over and over again, with very minor tweaks here and there.

- Overall, you don't need to worry too much about designing an entire experiment if you just want to write simple lab whump. But, if your whumpers are meant to be official and experienced scientists, then it might be worth it to go the extra mile and show how their scientific brains are working. (And personally, I will always find methodical lab whump more interesting than aimless torture.)

I hope this helped and it wasn't too long. If y'all have any more questions on lab whump and science, feel free to send me an ask. Happy Whumping!

(Disclaimer: this is not medical advice. This might not even resemble your experience and that's fine)

As someone who has been dealing with fevers my whole life because my body is weak, here's what it looks like for me:

The first and most telling symptoms for me is full body pains. It doesn't hurt too much, and it feels like muscle cramps after a day at the gym, but it's in your whole body. Those do not go away by stretching or resting the muscles.

The fever itself starts with shivering. You feel cold even though the room might not be cold at all.

If you cover yourself, it will feel nice and warm, and very very cosy. This however, raises the fever. Do not be fooled.

Low fevers will get you FIDGETY. You can't stay in place, you speak really fast and you feel hyperactive.

Sometimes you fidget to the point of hurting yourself (my ankles are being repeatedly twisted rn)

High fevers will have you lying down. They throw your balance off. They make me dizzy in a way that doesn't bring nausea. It almost feels like your body forgot how to balance itself.

I have never experienced hallucinations, but the brain fog is real and you do NOT feel it. You just start thinking less.

Thirst and hunger? Never heard of them. You have to force yourself to eat.

High fevers are more dangerous because I feel them less. Yes, I start walking like a drunk, but my brain thinks everything is fine.

Most of the time I get fevers from catching a virus, but I also get exhaustion fevers.