Wehadababyitsaboy

Absolutely exquisite.

the most insufferable people will be like, this game is woke I'm not playing it because the protagonist is a woman that I can't jerk off to, her tits are normal sized and she has wrinkles i'd rather play as a big muscly man so I can jerk it to his big titties and thighs #nohomo

mind you, it's optional to buy the game and play it

when i forget to log into ao3 and i have to click proceed to see an adult fic, i actually get a kick out of it. like i am an old timey queen and my bard is apologetic: “gentle lady, dicks doth touch in this next ballad. would you prefer another?” and i give him a gesture of command like, “nay, you may proceed, minstrel. bring forth the tale of dicks”

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

If you run over someone's foot with your wheelchair you still apologise

is 5 too young for the dark crystal? i don’t want to scare my sister but i want to show her

I forgot that was the name of a film when I read this and thought you were desperate to show your 5 y/o sister some sort of cursed artifact

clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after

clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling

one of my favorite bits to do when someone is deciding something innocuous like what to order at a restaurant is to say "what does your heart tell you"

I don’t have time to draw it right now but while driving home from the winco I saw a happy mustached man pedaling a bike, towing a cart built to look like a chariot, inside of which stood what I can only imagine was his completely expressionless 13 year old in a makeshift corinthian helmet

when I’m checking out at the register and the cashier is clearly having a horrible day, I feel like I am under so much pressure to speak soooo gently and pleasantly. like I am handling a skittish and traumatized horse. here I am offering my credit card so efficiently. here is an apple from my palm

i will personally never understand that thing people do when theyre like "i thought this was a good piece of art until i realised its fetish/pornographic" like why does art lose value if the artist was a little horny when they made it. why is that so scary. im sure a lot of the old masters were doing portraits of their lovers slightly bricked up & theyre still displayed in museums. why is sexual arousal not an acceptable source of inspiration when like every other emotion is. well i mean i know why sadly but i do not like it so i'll continue to complain about it

if michaelangelo can paint 644 cock and balls on the sistine chapel u can swallow a few close ups of feet or whatever

I must say it. some of those renaissance painters were pretty horny about Jesus.