btw bitch i called my mom she said that it was for best and i reminded myself the more i gave, the more you'd want me less and i CANNOT be your friend so i pay the price of what i lost, and what it cost NOW THAT WE DON'T TALK if you even care!!

Taylor to Harry: you have shit taste in music and shit taste in friends and also your new hair looks dumb

h-hot dog water?

Her name was hot dog water because her father was a carnival owner and they were so poor she had to bath with the used hot dog water. Also she was murdered by Nazi robots under the command of a Hannibal lector bird Scooby Doo influenced by a cosmic embodiment of horror but then brought back to life when Scooby Doo killed it

[Video description: A mud-covered child in the middle of a muddy field behind a long white single-story house. The child sizes up the puddle in front of them and declares decisively, “I’m gonna hop in this!” They jump, throwing both legs out in front of their torso in a V-shape, landing squarely in a seated sprawl in the mud with a thick heavy *splort*. The person filming snorts and giggles before the video cuts off.]

these are the bottles that go in the machine that brings ghosts back to life in Casper (1995)

vibe check! (bursts into tears)

Really hate to say this but reading Naruto did irreparable damage to some of y’all’s social and mental development

that was his jutsu

A cool aesthetic, but also a damn fucking easy way to fall down some stairs

I mean… how did they get there? Was the factory abandoned after a button explosion? Did disgruntled former employees just hurl buttons around on their way out after being made redundant? Or was the factory abandoned after their fifth fatal staircase fall in a month because this is just how they kept the buttons?

the more i learn about william shakespeare the more i lose my mind

his tragedy coriolanus contains the first recorded use of the word lonely meaning bill shakespeare might have invented the word lonely

the phrase the word lonely first appeared in is “like to a lonely dragon”

also on an unrelated note two of his distant relatives were executed in 1583 for a plot to kill the queen. they were beheaded and their heads were placed on pikes on london bridge meaning as young aspiring thespian william shakespeare arrived in london for the very first time, he might have been greeted by his relatives’ rotting heads. i woulda turned around and gone the fuck back to stratford

in his time period life expectancy was 35. monks were expected to drink gallon of beer a day. the names “agnes” and “anne” were interchangeable because the g was silent so it’s entirely possible shakespeare was married to a woman named agnes instead. the words “trash” “fart” and “slut” existed, but not the word “science.” speaking of language by 1600 “thou” had fallen out of fashion meaning shakespeare might’ve only included it to be more fucking dramatic

he never once spelled his surname “shakespeare” (he preferred “shakspere” apparently) and he once signed a legal document as “willm shaksp”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILLM SHAKSP

If Darth Maul had ran over little Anakin with his motorbike during episode 1, he would unintentionally have brought balance to the force and saved the galaxy.