same old thing in brand new drag

Please take this common grackle gently prodding an abandoned bagel

   The immediate consequences of publishing “A Secret Side of Lesbian Sexuality” could hardly have been more dire. I got a call at two o’clock in the morning from Barbara Grier of Naiad Press, threatening to cancel the publication of my first book, Sapphistry, a lesbian sex-education manual. It was hard to tell which upset her more: the fact that I had publicly revealed my identity as a leather person (“You might as well tell people you are a murderer!”) or my statement that S/M was so important to me I would rather be marooned on desert island with a male masochist than a vanilla dyke (“We do not publish books by bisexual women!”).

   Sapphistry did hit print, and it went on to garner wheelbarrows full of vicious reviews. (“Sapphistry: Striking Out At Feminism ’Til It Hurts,” read the headline in Big Mama Rag.) The feminist press was incensed because I focused on lesbianism as a way that two women could give pleasure to one another rather than as the paradigm for a feminist relationship. Not only did the book defend S/M, it also talked about butch/femme as a viable language of lesbian passion instead of as an embarrassing anachronism eschewed by enlightened modern lesbians. And casual sex! And dildos! And…well, there was also all that stuff about disabled women…and how to prevent sexually transmitted diseases…and it was pretty hard to bitch about that. Nevertheless, Sapphistry got maybe two positive reviews.

   But real dykes, both feminist and nonfeminist, didn’t care what their self-appointed leaders thought. They bought Sapphistry. If their local women’s bookstores wouldn’t carry it, they mail-ordered it. In 1992 this book was still one of Naiad Press’s top thirty sellers.

that's really exactly it.

as someone who could very easily qualify for a diagnosis of bpd or cptsd, and even very often resonates with both, everything described in bpd is just a demonization of the same patterns of behaviour described by cptsd. it is just describing you as evil for struggling with being hurt so much, and in doing so, takes the focus away from the person hurting and puts it onto how it inconveniences everyone else.

we really need to be critical of how these labels come to be, because they are deliberately created, and they are created by people with biases. they are so often just a tool of oppression, another extension of a discriminatory machine.

I hope it isn't derailing, but I think this is also really illustrated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. "narcissist" was a word for an asshole before it was a word for a disorder. rather than describing how someone might struggle to relate to others or be open to true connection, and centering the person who needs to heal, they instead called everyone who struggles with that an irredeemable dick and dressed it up in medical expertise so you wouldn't think to question it. frankly I think it's silly to call for treating "narcissist" like some sacred medical term instead of looking at how fucked up it is that they called a disorder that???

Fortunately, banks no longer just ask 'did you make that transaction' they want to make sure you weren't scammed into making that transaction and 5mins after their call will give away all your money anyway.

This is an honest to goodness life saving movement and I cannot be happier banks are adopting it

Unfortunately, it meant I had to have the most embarrassing financial call of my life

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Me: Ah yeah I was just trying to tip a tumblr blog

Cash: right and were you directed there by a Facebook link? An Instagram advert?

Me: no I was just on tumblr...on purpose

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Caah: and this person asked you for money?

Me: oh no they just had a funny story, which happened to be about money and I thought, "wouldn't it be funny if I tipped them"

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Me: * covering a reblog by reblog update on the adventures my mutual was having *

Cash: okay I don't think that can actually happen though..

Me: It might not have, but i was happy to tip them just because it was funny

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Cash: and how well do you think you know this person?

Me: *considers explaining how much I know about a beloved mutual without ever knowing their name or face* ... I have no idea who this person is