I'll state something rash;

Will I ever not have a reaction any time I see/hear your name - last name too? Seems unlikely.

It is positively wild how things still remind me of you while I probably haven’t crossed your mind in at least six years.

It’s been some strange times lately, and more often than not I’ve been reminiscing about the past and allll the times we spent together - the parties, late nights, hallway hangs - in our group bubble and for a little while after that. It’s like that saying about how you never know when you’re doing something for the last time. We were together for the last time and didn’t even know it, and I just really cherish it but also really miss it.

I wonder if you ever had an inkling as to how much I thought and still think about you and if any part of you had any idea or felt even the tiniest bit same for me. Cause I swear our friends thought we might’ve.

I feeling like I am pouring myself out and screaming into the void and not one single person understands me but I’m yelling about such universal things that’s it’s mind boggling to me how no one understands what I’m saying when I couldn’t be any clearer and how much more of this am I supposed to handle before I truly break.

okay but like what am I supposed to do with this now

unfortunately I think the time has come for me where the "not" needs to be removed from the phrase "alone but not lonely"