I've taught a human development class to kids ages 10-12 for the last four years. our curriculum covers a lot of topics, among them sexual intimacy. one of our lessons involves looking at non-sexual nude illustrations of people with visible genitalia, as part of a discussion about all the different ways that bodies can look. we don't conceal anything - a child once asked me why someone might want to put a penis in their mouth, and we had a great conversation about how different people like different kinds of intimacy.

some of the kids are curious and have a lot of questions. those kids' parents should be prepared to answer any questions they might have in a thoughtful and age appropriate way, the same way they would if their kid had questions about, idk, a victoria's secret ad or a suggestive music video or a comedian telling a joke a bit above their maturity level.

some kids prefer not to talk about it; I've definitely had kiddos too embarrassed to even look at my very cartoony and poorly-drawn genitalia diagrams. those kids' parents should be aware of that and check in with their kiddos, the same way parents should when they take their children to any large event that could be overwhelming.

and a lot of kids just don't give a shit. especially for the ones younger than I teach, sexuality is barely a blip on the radar and public semi-nudity is something silly at worst - although it's much more likely that they'll be seeing less skin than they would have at a beach or public pool. seeing a harness or a puppy mask or a dildo isn't likely to raise any serious alarm or any questions they can't be answered with "that's something some people like to wear to special events to express themselves" or "that's a toy for grown ups."

what I'm getting at here is that a.) being in the vicinity of a person who's partially dressed or holding a flogger is not in any way innately harmful to children and b.) the comfort and safety of children in public spaces and the ways in which they process anything potentially confusing they may see in those places is always the responsibility of the caregivers who presumably brought them into that space to begin with.

Dishes.

Clothes. 

House.

Self.

I’m incredibly disappointed with the trend in stories (especially ‘edgy’ YA novels) to bombard the reader with traumatic situations, angry characters, and relationship drama without ever first giving them a reason to root for a better future. As a reader…

I might care that the main siblings are fighting if they had first been shown to have at least one happy, healthy conversation. 

I might cry and rage with the protagonist if I knew they actually had the capacity to laugh and smile and be happy.

I might be hit by heavy and dark situations if there was some notion that it was possible for this world to have light and hope and joy to begin with.

Writers seem to forget that their reader’s eyes adjust to the dark. If you want to give your reader a truly bleak situation in a continually dim setting, you have to put them in pitch blackness. But if you just shine a light first, the sudden change makes the contrast appear substantial.

Show your readers what light means to your character before taking it away. Let the reader bond with the characters in their happy moments before (and in between) tearing them apart. Give readers a future to root for by putting sparks of that future into the past and the present. Make your character’s tears and anger mean something.

Not only will this give your dark and emotional scenes more impact, but it says something that we as humans desperately, desperately need to hear. 

Books with light amidst the darkness tell us that while things are hard and hurt, that we’re still allowed to breathe and hope and live and even laugh within the darkness.

We as humans need to hear this more often, because acting it out is the only way we stop from suffocating long enough to make a difference.

So write angst, and darkness, and gritty, painful stories, full of treacherous morally grey characters if you want to. But don’t forget to turn the light on occasionally.

Tragedy and comedy both hit much harder if you alternate them rather than having either one alone.

that is the difference between a shepherd guarding dog and a shepherd herding dog. Herding dogs are NOT part of the herd, they use modified hunting techniques to bully the herd into moving where they are meant to go. They are built for speed and agility, often as small as 35 to 45 lbs, and are absolutely no match for a wolf. Plus, the herd doesn’t trust them, is suspicious of them, which is how the herding works