peter grifgin

Many of these things are beliefs I have had since I realised I am trans, and others are beliefs I have developed at a later point in time shifting from an old belief. Some are just random thoughts I feel like jotting down.

Dysphoria resonates differently for individuals, and can fluctuate at any stage of transition. Some people get dysphoric over things that have no real understandable basis. It's alright if you get dysphoric over a haircut, it's alright if your dysphoria isn't as bad one day and you get intimate with a partner.

Capitalism is a huge issue for trans people. Clinics need more funding to cut down wait times and allow trans people to access treatment quicker.

There's nice and not so nice people within all labels and identities.

There's not just trans med and anti trans med people. There's trans people who fall somewhere between or don't care about any of this. It doesn't necessarily mean anything if someone who claims the same label as you disagrees with something random you said. Grow up and stop othering everyone who doesn't agree with everything you say.

It's okay if someone is confused and needs to talk to a gender therapist, and doesn't want a jab of testosterone in their ass today. No one's a trender because they need time to discover what's right for them.

Shut up with comparing trans men and women together every second of the day. It's not helping anyone. We know trans women are targeted more, but when you see a article about a trans man who got raped, you really don't need to comment telling us how much worse it would have been if it was a black trans woman.

I don't like it when cisgender people think that trans people are their birth sex. If a cis person is going to subscribe to that belief, it's not like a gender non conforming person is going to make them think we are all confused. Who cares about asshole cis people that will never accept trans people anyway?

Yes, you're really dumb for going on testosterone and then asking other trans people about what T does.

In the wise words of Zayn Malik, "If you know nothing shut your fucking mouth"

A socially transitioned child or a preteen/teen on hormone blockers/HRT is better than a depressed or dead kid!!!

I think the LGBT+ community basically means not cis and not straight, but is inclusive of all sorts of diversity in progressive places. I have seen people welcomed into LGBT+ spaces who have disabilities,  a different skin colour from the majority, are socially shy and awkward, and just anyone who wants to have a place where they aren't judged and can socialise with others. I think this can be daunting for a lot of adults when making friends is more difficult than it is as a child, and if LGBT+ spaces are a place anyone can come to and feel welcomed, then that's a good thing. There was a time where I thought the merging of trans people into sexual diverse people was unnecessary, but now I see more good than harm from it.

Posting a selfie every day to ask if you pass isn't something anyone does to receive advice. You have insecurity issues and want attention and for people to tell you how hot you are. Just post a selfie a day without the pointless question because everyone see's through it anyway.

If someone non binary wants to transition with HRT and surgery, who cares? If they understand what those things will and won't do for them, and are satisfied with their choice, then that's good for them.

When binary trans men want a space for them, it's not an attack on anyone else. You didn't complain when someone made a private chat group for gay and bisexual trans men, so quite acting like other types of trans men aren't allowed their own group.

Your makeup beard looks like makeup.

You can't change the way some cis people view trans people, and you should learn when to stop trying with those people to save your energy.

Cancel culture as we know it is unreasonable. We weren't born with all of the answers, and nor were you.

Buck Angel is, and always has been, an absolute asshole and idiot. You CAN cancel this asshole a thousand times over for all I care.

Transition in the way that feels right for you as an individual.

Except neoprouns are dumb and I'm not calling you zyem.

And mogai genders are dumb. Your gender isn't a flower or autism.

Trans men get called the word "tranny" too. Really sorry to break this to trans women.

Testosterone isn't going to make you magically make you look buff. You need to work out for that.

Yes, it's bad form of you to call other trans people words like tranny and queer when they don't want to be called those things even if you yourself like being called those words.

You will even meet trans people dedicated to intentionally misunderstanding you, and they aren't worth your time.

Yea, it's not fun when someone who is trans and out makes cis people aware of things you consider personal within your own transition. But the sooner you accept that this is going to happen, the sooner you can let go of your annoyance, so if someone feels the most comfortable being out, then they are allowed to do that.

Stealth trans people don't owe you an explanation for choosing not to disclose. It doesn't mean they are embarrassed, secretly transphobic, or selfish. If stealth trans people are happy being stealth, then good, let them be.

Just because you're also trans doesn't give you the right to ask other trans people personal questions about their transition. Contacting a random trans guy to ask him if he has had bottom surgery and to send photos isn't any better than cis people asking you if you have a penis or a vagina, and how do you have sex with what you have.

Chasers are gross. Stop being flattered by them and get some confidence in yourself.

If you're uncomfortable with being recognised as a guy, and uncomfortable with the changes that come along with testosterone, don't transition.

Clearly if you're happy about being female, then well done on being cisgender, but for those questioning, you're not going to fit into every typical trans narrative you hear about and that's fine.

Trans men are extremely under represented. Non binary people and trans women are greatly over represented and this isn't fair, and no one seems to care except trans guys.

A trans guy who is on T and experiencing negative changes isn't not trans if he is upset about getting a face full of acne. Likewise, you're not really a girl either if you aren't thrilled at the prospect of losing hair and getting fat in the gut one day. Stop acting like cis men aren't also upset about these things.

No one cares that you don't experience sexual attraction when gay people are out here being killed for being gay. As an asexual, you'll have family members annoy you at reunions when they ask if you have a boyfriend yet, and some turds might call you a virgin. Sit down. Your life isn't that hard.

You're 3 days on T, just chill out. The extra hair you noticed isn't from testosterone and your penis didn't grow 2 inches overnight, Jayden. But congratulations on starting T anyway.

When your pansexuality means you like men, women, and trans people, believe it or not, that's a form of transphobia.

All your self diagnosed mental illnesses into your bio is cringy and everyone thinks so.

You look really dumb when you tease trans guys for the same things you have or do. If you have a dumb sounding name, you look really stupid for always taking digs at all the Storm's out there when you're literally called Kailer.

Lets' talk about the "tranny voice". I regret to inform the people I have seen on YouTube who use this terminology that they too have the "tranny voice" in some capacity.

The word transsexual describes some people's experience with their own gender. If they want to use that word, then shut up and then let them use it, even if you think it's outdated or somehow transphobic (which is nuts to think anyway).

If a trans or cis person is new to the community, please go easy on them. It's not the end of the world if they say something wrong, like by spelling transgender as transgendered. Politely explain to them what to say instead, or shut up. Your balls aren't going to grow by putting down that trans guy who just came out as trans publicly.

Who really cares if that trans guy you know would rather be called they/them.

Inclusion is lovely, but many trans women don't appreciate being dragged into your discussions about having a vagina and abortions every single time the topic pops up on your Facebook feed.

Cis people who only respect you as trans if you agree with weird transphobic things they say aren't even worth a fucking word from you. Stop kissing their backside. There's decent people out there you can be friends with instead.

Cis people who look at the one weirdo who changes pronouns every few days and likes to show their titties off, and then treats you like you're the same way are dumb. It's not really your job to control how other people view trans people. I used to think I could make a great impact and help ignorant cis people see that most of us are just regular people trying to make ourselves feel better, and then get on with our lives. Some cis people will always act like you're weird and wrong. Fuck them.

No trans med says you have to hate yourself, and your mother, and her dog to be trans LOL. Even I believe that many things trans med and anti trans med people say is stupid, but come on, let's stop pretending that's what they're saying when they discuss dysphoria and transsexualism. (Forgive me if this is something that actually happens now with some dumb truscum people. I haven't been around these parts of the internet for some time.)

Transgender isn't a third gender. Many trans people are trans men and women, and you wouldn't know they aren't cis if you met them. Please stop putting male/female/transgender on your forms. Male/female/other with a blank field left for the individual to fill it is more appropriate, if it's even relevant information.

You can not like packing and still want lower surgery. Sometimes packing doesn't work for people or increases their dysphoria, so quit acting like this is a necessary prerequisite for wanting lower surgery.

Strangely enough, if you choose to present female, you will get misgendered, and you will look really silly when you come online to sook about it.

Truscum: stop telling every fucking Skyler with purple hair that they are a trender. The funniest part of this is some of the truscum I have seen say this also have unnatural coloured hair. Also, just relax a little bit when you see a Skyler who has a more androgynous style. Some of you are mad because androgynous Skyler passes better than your 4 foot 9, 1 year on T at 18 years old but still gets mistaken for 12 years old self does.

Tucutes: stop telling truscum to commit suicide and making shit up about what they have done and said. You lose credibility when you lie. And if a truscum person wants to actually have a discussion with you, why not try to talk to them about your own thoughts, or just ignore them? Telling them to go die doesn't actually help them understand your beliefs.

Furthermore, to anyone and everyone, if you have a point to raise, stick to the topic at hand. There's no need to lie about what the other person said if you actually have something valid to say.

Detransitioned rad fems: You are stupid. You took hormones and decided that all trans people are making a mistake because you did. Keep living with hatred in your system all the time and have a shit life. You deserve it for treating trans people the way you do.

Cisgender leftists: thank you for doing your best to show support, but calling everyone "they" isn't it. Conveniently most people are the gender they present as. If someone tells you otherwise, then respect that and change your language accordingly. Signed, a binary trans man who spent tens of thousands of dollars on transitioning and would like to be recognised as male. We can also see right through it when you post about hating men or cis men. We know you see us differently, and we are your exception to your man hating rule. This is another form of transphobia.

If someone explicitly says they don't want to be called "they", then it's not very nice to continue calling them that pronoun.

Can you guys also stop with calling trans guys "smol soft bois" and other things that make us sound like 3 years old.

Stop with all the photos of your booze, cigs and drugs when you spam the link for your top surgery gofundme 5 times a day, dumbass. Maybe stop spending money on shit you don't need and stop begging people for their hard earned cash?

There's a difference between wanting to take T as a white boy and somehow look like a Korean pop star forever, and taking T and wanting to have boyish good looks. The latter is understandable. Maybe of you missed out on your boyhood. You might be 20 and not feel like you're really there yet because you never got to live as a guy. Some vanity is fine and I think most trans guys who act like they don't care about negative T changes are full of it and are trying to compensate. If you had the choice to be cute or ugly, you would choose to look cute. For the Korean pop stab wannabes, I'm really sorry, but T isn't going to do that for you.