Secret Space Gay

Sammy becomes her bestie's midnight snack 🩷💚😋

(Sam x Bianca🐺, ocs)

I’m so glad you asked! Let me list off what I’ve got for you:

Books I personally recommend:

- The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

If you’re having kinky sex at all, you need to read at least one of these two books. Point blank. They’ll teach you the very basics of negotiating properly (which is critical!), and help you identify what you are and aren’t into.

- Mindfucking Mindfully, by Sir Ezra Where this book really shines isn’t actually in helping you “mindfuck” people, it’s in taking a close look at how to do so ethically. It’s a great answer to the question “how do I get someone to consent to something and still surprise and shock them with it?”

- Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny This is a slightly niche pick but there simply isn’t a better book on the subject. It’s written from a 24/7 M/s perspective, which is not what I do, but the book itself is an indispensable guide to giving and receiving service. The phrase “if the Master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service” will be burned into my psyche for quite some time. I love this book a lot. Maybe my favorite out of all of these.

- Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation, by Princess Kali This one’s high on my reading list; I’ve heard it recommended by a number of people whose opinions on these things I trust.

- Pretty Much Anything Midori Has Ever Done Midori is a great resource for this stuff - I haven’t personally read much of her work, but she’s a well known sex educator and great at what she does. She’s known for bondage, but has a lot of range beyond that.

- This Negotiations Worksheet from Bex Talks Sex This is what I default to using a lot of the time for negotiations. Forget BDSMtest, you don’t need that, it’s no good. Just look through this worksheet’s wordbank with your partner. Big fan especially of the “how do you want to feel?” section.

Books I can kind of recommend:

- The Ultimate Guide to Kink, edited by Tristan Taormino This book is weird. There’s a lot of good info for experienced players, but some of what’s written here skeeves me out. I think if I had a top that thought the way some of the tops in here think, they would not be topping me for long. But there’s some good techniques and so on to pick up that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I liked the distinction one of the authors makes between being sadistic in the sense of inflicting pain and being sadistic in the sense of doing something your sub doesn’t “enjoy.”

- The Ritual of Dominance and Submission, by David English Man, this book fucking sucks. The writing and editing are garbage, and the fear and protocol play described need way more careful negotiation than he ever lets on, let alone recommends. This is some 50 Shades bullshit. The only time I recommend this book is to tops like me who tend to be very affirming to their partners and need a guide on how to really scare them - when their partner consents and when you negotiate it, which this book sucks at teaching you. Really good content on fear, punishment, and protocol play, really terrible presentation of the topic though. Don’t read this if you don’t already know what you’re doing.

- Paradigms of Power, by Raven Kaldera I love this book. Great book. Very focused on 24/7 M/s play though, and, being an anthology, some chapters are better than others. If you can’t read something and pick out what is and isn’t for you, don’t bother. But some really great inspiration, and generally pretty well written. Big fan of the discussion of leather throughout the book.

Thanks 💖 I put ice on my face as soon as I was able to get my hands cleaned up, so while I have a knot on my cheek, the bruising is minimal so far. Thankfully the scratch isn't bad either. My hands took a beating though. And I snapped a leg completely off my glasses 🥹 I have an extra pair at home, but we're still 3ish hours away.

if you have a harder session, tend to your subs bruises, scratches, and marks. put ice on bruises and welts to help with inflammation and pain.

if you do bondage, take care of rope burn and help them do some stretches. their body is going to be stiff from being restricted in one position for a long time. also a heating pad can help with sore muscles.

if they have any cuts or are bleeding, dress their wounds properly. make sure to put on antibiotic ointment on before a bandage if needed.

if they have burns for whatever reason, run them under cold water and maybe use ointment on those to help them heal.

make sure they pee after sex to help prevent a UTI. their legs may be shaky so help them get to the bathroom if needed.

give them advil or some other pain med to help with any aching or discomfort.

make sure they drink water. they need it and i cant stress how important this is. also give them some food even if its just a little snack.

give them verbal assurance and praise. tell them they did good and that youre proud of them.

still run a bath, get them cleaned up, give them kisses, cuddle them, etc but dont forget about the rest of aftercare, its so important. take care of your subs and always remember consent, communication, and safety are key.

also give your doms aftercare and affection too, theyre people with emotions and need it

(I am not immune to the pet tax so here are my girls. Orange is Tabasco and grey is Mori)