here for chaos.

…

Yeah… yeah, I was.

My heart has never forgotten that.

…

Yeah… yeah, I was.

THE LIFE AND CELEBRATION OF KYLE ARGENT: 

“I can’t change what’s going to happen… but I can stay as long as you need me to.”

women I have been warned against becoming ✨

1. the soulmate - never be the woman who believes in happily ever after, never be dumb enough to think maybe someone could love you after all of your mistakes.

2. the girl with strength - girls are never athletes, never supposed to be “built,” regardless of the fact civilizations were constructed on our spines and we made homes in war by the steel of our ribs. never be strong. we are supposed to wilt.

3. the beautiful one - teach your daughters that beautiful means dangerous, teach them to distrust women who love themselves. equate beautiful with vapid, equate pretty with stupid, take their power from them. say they’re vain for their makeup, refuse to see them without it.

4. the slut - you’ll still try to get with her, you’ll still take her into your bed and kiss her and say things you don’t mean - but you’ll defame her name when you talk to your buddies

5. the ceo - if you choose work over family, are you really a girl? how dare you fight your way to the top through every pair of eyes that bore through your blouse, through every meeting where you were hushed by the sound of someone else talking, through every time someone called you “sweetie,” how dare you yearn for something?

6. the bitch - never raise your voice. speak gently. submit. hold your opinion against your lips and when you admit to it, make sure it comes out as a butterfly wing suggestion.

7. the girl who takes up too much space - this woman does not understand the art of crumbling, of curling herself tight like the spiral of a fern, soft, delicate, unwilling to reach out the ivy of her fingers to grasp onto what should rightfully be hers.

What was their first impression of each other? They were 10 so it was like Ben: Haha she has a weird accent Mer: Why is this boy talking to me?

What is their ship name? I dunno. I think it’s BenMer but they have the most uncombinable names ever.

Describe their relationship dynamic. To everyone else, they’re friends that kiss sometimes lol. They don’t outwardly show affection in front of other people, but rather they tease each other and laugh together. The first time anyone other than Kenny sees them kiss is at their wedding. Everyone is a little stunned when Meredith gets pregnant because some of their extended family didn’t even know they were dating. Smith had to ask Charlie when that happened and she’s like “idk”.

What was their relationship like before they got together? Basically, the same as it is when they’re together, except they didn’t kiss or any of that other stuff. They’re best friends.

How would they describe each other?

Ben: She’s so short I lose her every time we go somewhere crowded, but she’s cute so I don’t mind. She knows my favorite color is blue and makes the lights change when I’m sad. She watched me play lacrosse for 4 years and refused to learn anything about it. She treats my baby sister like she’s her own, even when she interrupts us. She has so much hair. It’s like a lion—a pretty one! But it gets in my mouth every time we lay together and it’s all over my shower. She looks like Tinkerbell in that one Peter Pan scene when she gets mad, but don’t tell her I said that. She doesn’t know the reason my favorite color is blue is because that’s the color her eyes are. I love her. I love her so much I swear I see the rest of my life when I look at her. What did you ask me again?

Meredith: I don’t really like talking about my feelings. Ben does. He talks a lot, in a good way. I like to listen to him. I don’t understand that game he likes to play, but I know I love the way his face lights up when something good happens. I feel safer next to him than I have in my entire life. He’s so warm. He let me into his family and I’ll always be grateful for that. If they were mine I wouldn’t want to share. He’s nice to me even when I’m mean. I’m not even sure he knows how to be mean. He has the cutest dimple, only one of them. He lets Lucy hang out with us, even when I know he intended for us to have alone time. I don’t care where I am or what I do, I just want it to be with him. That’s how I know I love him, because I have hope for tomorrow finally. Life isn’t about surviving anymore, it’s about living. He’s also not bad to look at. Don’t tell anyone I was this sappy, okay? I’ll deny it.

What do they love about each other? He loves that she is mean when she has to be and hates it when people point out that she did something nice. She loves that he is just so god damn nice to everyone. In high school, they never ate lunch with the same people two days in a row. She knows he understands the loneliness, but it’s still very sweet of him.

What do they have in common? They both like science fiction and strawberry ice cream.

What are some differences between them? Other than those two things they have vastly different interests lmao

What made them realize they were in love? Meredith realized it when Ben missed another girl at a party, except she had to be told that she realized it by Kenny. All she knew was she was fuming about it. She did something not very nice to the girl. It wasn’t bad! She just zapped her butt and burnt a hole in her jeans. Ben can’t tell you when he realized it. He always knew it, in some way.

What are their love languages? Quality time and acts of service.

Do they get married? Who proposes and how? They do! Ben proposes with the help of his fourth graders. It’s adorable.

What would happen if they never met? They would both be very sad, and then I would be sad. No actually I don’t know. They wouldn’t be as happy. I don’t even know if Meredith would be alive.

Who dies first? How does the other one react? I’m skipping this one because no thank you.

Are there any love rivals? No not at all.

Describe your favorite moment of that ship! AJ's three-ish and still sleeps in what's basically a big crib in their room. He's also nonverbal as far as they know. He wakes Ben up in the middle of the night to let him know he had an accident. Ben tries not to wake Meredith up and takes him downstairs to clean off and put some more clothes on. He throws the bedsheets in the washing machine and tells AJ he can sleep in their bed the rest of the night. And then they eat ice cream. Meredith wakes up anyway and goes to find them and sits and eats with them too. She makes some joke like "Did Daddy wake you up just to come eat with him?" and AJ just casually tells her "No Mama" and goes back to eating. They're both too stunned to say anything about it. Turns out he knew how to talk this whole time, he just didn't want to until now.

What do other characters think about this relationship? Their friends say it was about time. Kenny calls them my parents randomly in conversations and people will be confused. Hailey very sweetly says she’s happy for them but she saw it coming six years ago. Rory pretty much says the same. Charlie laughs. Lucy does not care. Levi is the only one caught off guard by the news, but he is very bad at picking up on things anyway.

Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before. They’re both teachers at the same elementary school and the school year after they get married Ben’s fourth-graders point out that their art teacher has the same last name as him. He says he doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Then he walks them down to her room and she gives him a little kiss and then they’re like “are you married or something?” and Meredith seamlessly goes with Ben’s story and says she doesn’t even know him. This goes on for a whole year. Many of the kids' parents think they’re having an affair or something.

What does a typical date look like for them? Them, sitting on the living room couch with a pint of strawberry ice cream, trying to watch a movie but they can’t because either Lucy, Charlie, or Kenny come in to annoy them, or Hailey decides to vacuum, or something else happens that’s distracting.

What’s a really significant moment in their relationship? Um, I would say when AJ is born, for many reasons both happy and sad.