`\_( * u * )_/`

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

I took a bus to a conference today and the bus driver fully stopped the bus to identify and chastise a person who was playing music out loud on their phone. That is how you get me to actually complete the customer service survey specifically so I can give you top ratings

It's days later and I'm still thinking about this man. Full ass bus pulled over to the side of a state highway with the hazards on, stalking down the center aisle intoning "ALL RIGHT. WHO'S GOT IT. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ON SPEAKER." I want to commission a statue of him. a hero. a king.

for ages now i've looked at the upper cabinets in the kitchen and thought yeahhhhh i could high kick those closed. and today i finally exercised my free will and to the sheer unbridled amazement of both myself and my brother i did indeed manage to high kick them closed.

iwtv seasons one and two was like being tucked into bed and read a heartbreaking story by Louis du pointe du lac. The Vampire Lestat is like your blackout drunk uncle trying to tell you an anecdote at a family gathering

and for the lady, perhaps whatever the fuck she wants