Subject to Change

@mrsmosby-wannabe

“Hey, Batman, think you’ve seen everything, huh? Well, figure out how to deal with this! You know Gotham General Hospital? Yeah? Well you’ll never guess what I let loose in there!”

“Riddle me this, what has four hooves and presents a massive health and safety violation?”

“I see you there, Batman. And I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing.”

remember that short story they made you read in school called The Lottery where the whole town gets together and just stones a motherfucker at random what the fuck was up with that

i have a hill to die on real quick

self-care culture is too often just narcissism wearing a gaudy hat 

If you’re old enough to remember it, you just lost The Game.

I have no idea what’s going on here

Back in the early aughts, when many millenials were in high school, before Facebook and Youtube, The Game began. No one knows who started it, but the moment we learned we were playing it, we began to lose. The goal of The Game is to forget you are playing The Game for as long as possible. The rules of The Game are as follows: Everyone is always playing The Game all the time; at school, during breakfast, at night when you are asleep, etc. The Game never ends. The moment you remember that you are playing The Game, you lose and must immediately announce to those around you, “I just lost The Game!” thus making them remember they are also playing The Game and causing them to lose as well. Upon losing, you begin The Game again. Sometimes players could go weeks or months without losing, sometimes only minutes. At the height of The Game’s popularity, it became common to see people at events such as Comic Con or midnight movie premieres, wearing t-shirts proclaiming “You just lost The Game!” Once they were noticed, groans and shouts of “Fuck you!” could be heard for miles. These people thrived on the chaos, taking great pleasure in the cries of their victims. Most people eventually grew bored of The Game, and many began to claim they won by choosing not to care about it anymore. Some rely on a particular XKCD comic strip or Tumblr post to lend a sense of legitimacy to their feeling of victory. They are fools. It is impossible to win The Game. There is only losing. Only a few diehards remain loyal to the rules. The drop in popularity has allowed many to keep from losing The Game for years at a time. The growth of social media has caused a minor resurgence, although without the satisfaction of real time auditory feedback when causing others to lose, The Game will likely fade back into obscurity once again. Someday when we are old and gray, our grandchildren will innocently ask us to play a game of checkers, and we will shriek and shout until the whole nursing home joins us in defeat. Death is the only release from The Game.

Millennials have always been pretty nihilistic lol.

I cheat and just don’t say anything. There’s no penalty, so. I cheat. And I’m much happier for doing so.

it’s presumptuous he calls himself Duke when Nukem-Upon-Thames is barely an earldom

I can’t believe he killed Harrison Ford twice

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

“people call EVERYBODY nazis nowadays. you can’t talk about murdering communists without being called a nazi. you can’t imply that all black and foreign people are violent criminals without being called a nazi. you can’t call Jewish and Romani people slurs without being called a nazi. you can’t even advocate for the sterilization of trans, gay, and disabled people without being called a nazi! fucking SJWs need to take a long hard look in the mirror.”

$150 drinks (average)

“I mean it’s one night out, Michael. How much could it cost, $225?” 

someone who is good at the economy help me

You: buys avocado toast Me: spends almost 500 a week on parties Us: will NEVER live the american dream

…. the last time I spent over 100$ on something recreational was like three years ago.