Iām growing older (and hopefully, wiser) again today, and I have this strong desire to at least share a little wisdom that Iāve already picked up along the way! I hope you guys find this post useful :-)
22 THINGS I LEARNED BY 22
1. Not every one you meet (and love) will have the same heart as yours. It sucks, but itās the truth.
Youāre going to give a lot of love for people who wonāt give them back to you. Youāre going to pour your heart and soul into relationships that, turns out, will have expiration dates. Youāre going to do a lot of things without getting anything in return. Because not everyone will think the way you think, and not everyone will love you the way you will love them. So you canāt expect people to do things for you just because youāre willing to do the same for them. You canāt expect people to stay in your life just because you stayed in theirs. But not getting the same love that you have given never means that it is already a love wasted. Maybe ā and I said āmaybeā because Iām still trying to figure it out ā just maybe, that was their limit. Maybe itās what theyāre only capable of giving at the time. After all, in love, it never really is going to be a 50-50 from each side, but rather a constant effort of 60-40 or 70-30 or 80-20 with the person who gives more changing depending on the day. Still, itās never supposed to be 100 and 0, with you giving the 100% all the time. But sometimes it happens. Sometimes youāre willing to move mountains for people who will never do the same for you. And I hope you know that when that happens, when you no longer get anything out of the everything that you have given, I hope you realize itās time to walk away. It will never mean that you were wrong to love them with the intention of giving your all. Maybe, it was just a love that was not meant to be.
2. You will attract the same person as you, so always be a good person.
If in magnets the opposite poles attract, in life (basing from my personal experiences) they rarely do. Because you will build relationships out of attraction ā of hobbies, wants and interests, and you will captivate and keep these relationships based on your level of similarity with them. You will build your own environment with your principles, which is why you have to make sure you stick to the good ones. You have to always choose to be a good person, so you can attract people who have the same energy flow as you, and you could create a happier and kinder territory for you and your tribe.
3. Itās true that youād have to fight life yourself, but itās always better to know you have someone around.
Youāre going to rely on yourself for a large amount of your life, and youāre going to be there for yourself when no one else will. That is true. But ultimately, youāre going to need other people to get through the tough times, so I hope you have someone you can lean on when you start having trouble counting on yourself.
4. And even though youāre going to need other people, as you grow up you will realize that you donāt need a lot of them around.
Sometimes, you only need one.
5. Get rid of toxic people. Even if you love them.
Even if you feel like you canāt live without them. If they start becoming torture rather than aid, leave. If they start hurting you far more times than making you feel happy, walk away. Love and friendship will never be an excuse for someone to treat you wrongly. So if someone doesnāt give meaning to your life anymore, give them up. No matter how painful it might be, accept that they no longer serve you a purpose, and that it is time to part ways.
6. āBusyā is only a concept, and so is āIām not ready.ā
It is only an abstract idea, a general notion ā a reason or excuse (up to you to decide which) that puts a subjective conception in our heads. It is only something that we make up in our minds, in order to mask what has already been obvious in the first place: that you are not someoneās priority, that you are not someone that makes the person ready. Because people make time for whatās important, and they become ready for people they want to be ready for. Thatās it. No more, no less. Which is why being busy and being ready are only concepts we instill in someoneās mind to mask out the hard, cold truth that you simply are not the person they would lose all these āconceptsā for. In fact, there are still a bunch of concepts that I may not be able to elaborate about, but those two are the ones at the top of mind. I donāt think I could ever put into words what I feel about it, and I donāt think we could ever get rid of these concepts entirely. I only hope we try our best not to use them on people we truly treasure, and find people who would put in effort to lose these āconceptsā for us. If you already did, keep them close.
7. Timing is never going to be right unless you make it right.
The life we have now is full of choices. We always decide whether today is the right time to love, and/or the right time to be the right person for someone else. But for things to really work out (especially in love), the other party must also decide to choose us. He (or she) must also choose to be ārightā for us. And if they donāt, then thatās when things donāt work out for you. This is why ultimately, even if we could choose which time will be the right time for us, there will always be the perfect timing for everything.
8. You need to move at least five times in your life.
I think Iāve read this bit somewhere before, and it stuck to me ever since. Doing this allows us to create a bigger perspective, to associate ourselves with new people, and to step out of our comfort zones as it gives us a chance to open new and unfamiliar doors. It will also permit you a start over, especially at a time when you badly need so. Maybe moving is a form of escape for others but for me it is only providing yourself the opportunity to roam around before you finally settle. When youāve finally seen more of the world and what it offers, thatās when youāll know in what way will you want to sayĀ āIām finally good here.ā
9. Practice talking about your goals so passionately as if speaking intensely about it would bring life into your words.
I canāt stress this enough. However absurd your objectives are in life, preach it. When someone asks you about it, talk to them with your voice high-pitched and your eyes sparkling at every word. Itās not being ambitious, itās being motivated. If you want something to happen, claim it.
10. Know yourself, and get a good grip of it.
This is essentially vital, especially in this world where everyone will try to tell you who you are. You must stand tall, take it all in, look them in the eye and then walk away. You do not need to explain to them that they are wrong; you do not have to say āno, this is who I am.ā As long as you know who you are deep inside, their opinions of who you are will never get as far as from one ear to another.
And once you know yourself, please, please, please, get a good grip of it. Never stray away from your views, morals and principles in life. Because it is not only people that will try to change them, but also the experiences youāll get along the way. So get a good grip of who you are, so that you do not end up losing yourself in the middle of achieving your goals.
11. Always be kind to people, because you can be mean later on.
Some people donāt have it as easy as you. And when you think youāre having it tough, some people have it even harder. So always be kind. No matter what they say, everyone is fighting their own battles in life. Offer your kindness to the world, especially at this time when it is really much needed.
Rather than saying āmoving onā, I like the term āmoving forwardā much better. I think itās because when you move on from something, you just leave it behind you. And in my case, I prefer it if I take things with me as I go. Itās not because I want to cling on to it, but because remembering the experiences youāve had allows you to constantly remember the lessons you got out of it as well. You do not revolve your life and your choices around it anymore, but you bring it with you (still) in every step you take. Besides, that is how youāll know it doesnāt weigh that much already.
13. Admit it when youāre in the wrong.
There may be nothing as horrible as not accepting your mistakes when you do make them. So please donāt be a stubborn brat and save yourself the trouble of being stuck with your own pride. Itās okay to be wrong because youāre only human, anyway. So admit it when youāve done something wrong, and know when to apologize for it.
14. Always open your eyes to lifeās signs from up above.
Iām a firm believer that God sends us little signals every now and then. It may be in the form of a sudden rainfall, a cancelled meeting, or even as heartbreaking as a rejection. Sometimes, fate is in the works, and they canāt help but give us short teasers every now and then. Look out for them.
15. Be proud of your friends.
Pull each other up instead of dragging them down. You can shine bright with your loved-ones shining up there with you anyway. So cheer for them when they need it, congratulate them when they succeed and smile for them when theyāre happy. Donāt be jealous because your blessings will come at the time God designed it to come. While youāre waiting for it, clap for your friends when they get theirs before you got yours. Youāll be amazed at how fulfilling it would also make you feel.
16. Your family is everything. Take good care of them.
Always be grateful to the Lord for giving you your family. No matter what happens, they will be yours. They will be the one whoās going to support you in every way. They will comfort you when you need it; heck, theyād even cry for you when youāre trying your best not to. In this world where everythingās changing, I could say that theyāre one of the few āconstantsā you could have in this life time, so itās important that you make them happy and proud. You owe them who you are right now, and theyāve tried their best to mold you into the greatest you could ever be. Thank them. Always thank them.
17. There is no such thing as ātoo longā when it comes to getting over a heartbreak.
Do not let others dictate you how short you should weep over a failed love. Itās not their heart break, itās yours. If you feel like youāre not over it, then youāre not. Donāt be in a hurry so you could show them youāre okay. You can be okay and still feel the pain, anyway. So donāt listen to what other people say. Screw them, take your own damn time.
18. Experience outwins everything.
Always remember this: we get to live only one life. And no matter how long the hours feel like, this life is surprisingly a short one. So stop being scared to try new things or being lazy to create new memories. We may have all the time in the world to have these experiences, I know, but if you do get a chance to choose between sleeping in or a long drive to the nearest beach, I hope you get out of bed as fast as you can.
19. You wont get the life you planned out for yourself, so itās vital to make the most out of what you get.
When you were 7, you wanted to become an actress. When you were 10, you wanted to become a doctor. When you were 15, all you wanted was that boy to be the āoneā, then when you were 20 you realize that itās too early to spend forever with anyone. Right now youāre probably studying a degree that was never part of your dreams when you were 9 years old, or maybe you finally got the job you wanted, but it took you just yesterday to realize it. This life that we have keeps on unfolding right before our very eyes, and it takes us to different places that we never have the intention of visiting at all. Still, make the most out of it, because this is the life that God has willed for you. It may be the life you wanted or it may not, but one thingās for sure: itās yours. So despite all the detours that God engineered, I hope you still do your best to craft it and make it the life you envision it to be.
20. Always give your best, even if no one applauds for you.
Not every moment, people will see the good things you do. Still, do it anyway. Offer food to the needy even when youāre walking the streets alone. Pat yourself on the back after getting a high grade, even when your professor didnāt know you stayed up until 6am studying for that test. Always work hard even if people do not notice it. As long as you give yourself credit for doing a job well done, youāre not going to need other peopleās compliments to make you feel good about yourself.
21. Everyday, I hope you choose to inspire people.
This may be the most important out of all the lessons Iāve learned in life. There is no greater fulfillment than knowing youāre changing another personās lives. Even just through imparting emotions and words like sharing a meaningful article on Facebook, or writing a piece of literature just to make someone feel theyāre not alone in whatever they are going through. Or just through the small actions like smiling at a stranger thatās late for work, or offering your seat to an old person who might have his (or her) back hurting, or even giving extra love to a friend because who knows? They might not know they actually need it Ā that day. No matter how small of a gesture it is, do it. Do it with the hopes that you make someoneās day a little brighter, lighter and easier. Do it, because youāll never know how big of a help youāre giving to another. Youāll never know how badly theyāve needed it.
I hope that throughout your life, you will always choose to keep on helping people, because this will inspire them to become better people as well. And ultimately, this will inspire them to become an inspiration to others as well.
22. Whatever youāre going through, learn from it.
Never stop learning from your experiences, from the people around you ā from everything. I know I prepared twenty-two lessons that Iāve picked up during my twenty-two years here in this world, but honestly I feel like Iāve learned a far greater number than that. I also know I still have a lot of wisdom to take in as I continue this journey, too. So let us never get tired of learning from whatever life will throw at us, because that is how we evolve and become greater and more capable individuals. That is how we grow up.
