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Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

luimnigh

ladydevoir

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chillyfeetsteak

don't like auto-flush toilets. like excuse me I'll tell you when to swallow

terrible post

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

thekijs

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

weaselle

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

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tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot

dissociatingdumbass

The struggle between needing to sleep (I'm constantly tired), needing to stay up late (I need some undisturbed time for myself), wanting to sleep in on a workday (I don't want to go to work) and not being able to sleep in on a day off (I need to make the most of those days) is starting to drive me insane...

koiagain

I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…

whichcouldmeanothing

"Scrooge learns the true meaning of Bisexual Awareness Week" Make Some Noise Season 3 Episode 11

mevil

lizholmes

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patronsaintofweepingmothers

2009

stroebe2

lighthouseweeper

slavicafire

weekend? more like weakened. let me rest

creature-adjacent

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

questionablepastries

itberice

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine I 3.15 Destiny

red-mercer

For more information search for "Star Trek Rule 34"

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solarsyrup

for whatever reason tumblr has flagged this post from a deleted blog as explicit so I can't even reblog it anymore which is a shame because it's one of my absolute favorites

ooppo

At this point it's more disappointing than shocking that not a single assassin in the states can aim a fucking gun

ooppo

Not fucking really

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