Vobla

Whitaker: Actually, the hottest thing a man can do is ask how you're feeling and care about the answer.

me: putting off watching some tv shows for years

ruben telling niall in the hospital: this is what you’ve always wanted from me isn’t it. like right so some part of you is consciously aware. some part of you knows. and now niall knows that you know. you know that he knows that you know. that’s the closest we’ve ever come to IT being verbalized between them and it’s never brought up again. how am i meant to be okay with that. then in the barn ruben asks niall whether he loves him and he phrases it in a declarative way, because he’s not asking, not really—says: you love me, don’t you? don’t you, as in, this is something else i know, just like your want for me, and you’ve gotten away with not saying anything, but i’m going to drag this out of you. i know. and i know that you know i know, but i’m going to make you say it anyway. you’re going to tell me you love me and i’m going to make you describe it in every agonizing detail. and still. despite all the i love yous in this scene we still never circle back to IT. can anyone hear me. do you understand the gravity of this

Obviously there has been a lot of discussion about Niall stopping Ruben when he's talking about how he would cum when he father abused him and how those moments were the closest he ever felt to someone. And it's pretty clear that Niall is thinking about Ruben's violence against him and how Ruben is the person he feels the closest to. And how he was never able to acknowledge that to himself let alone anyone else. But what I don't really see being discussed and what I feel is pretty crucial is the fact that Ruben was describing abuse. He was describing abuse from his father and how that was the closest he ever felt to anyone. And Ruben was never able to tell anyone other than Niall about it. And it came after Niall revealed his feelings towards men to Ruben. And Ruben's abuse towards Niall is very pointedly never mentioned by anyone.

when the television show makes you feel bad on purpose