(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

today i just (remembers to maintain privacy online) did something really cool. you have to trust me

does anyone else think about how the sky can literally rock any colour it wants to

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

Computer loves to be like "fuck! You sure you want to shut down? Youve got volume mixer open"

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

dip shit you are not turning into the joker. you are barely even turning into the penguin or th e ice guy

primadonna girl……………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………yeah

Happy Pride to the Woke Mob

Let's fucking grab this Wednesday by the nothing

Can i be sensitive for 1 second or will i be tackled and killed

pjackk's corpse has washed up upon the shore rusted and covered in seaweed

they pushed his corpse back out to sea

HOW TO HUG LONG DISTANCE

HOW TO EMAIL HUGS

10000 KILOMETER HUG TECHNIQUES

I know we joke and all but i think my mind is destroyed for real

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad