We're tall, O God, we're tall!

she didnt block me on pinterest so im sending her madd pictures of ghouls and devils

people will be like "i'm bored" meanwhile there's baking soda and vinegar in the cupboard. make a volcano dude

why are people outside at the same time as me it’s my turn

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

Incredibly stupid facet of human biology that stress can weaken the immune system and exacerbate illness, like "oh things are going badly, let's make more things worse too"

I like when construction workers spray paint their strange sigils on the pavement

love wearing all black in public i hope no large gaseous heat emitting orb in the sky comes along and makes my day worse

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

You literally just have to get really good at continuing.

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again