a tree called life

Vaccines (yay!)

Pasteurization

Implementing and enforcing food quality and sanitation standards. Did you know White Castle was called as such because their gimmic was that they continually cleaned and bleached their stores inside and out to prevent food poisoning.

The invention of antibiotics! The first sulfa drugs dropped in the 1930s-40s

Widespread access and distribution of enriched food products! Enriched flour did a lot to prevent malnutrition, and it’s how Wonderbread got its name!

We got a hell of a lot better with medical care for sick and premature infants. The first incubators for premature babies were actually used as something of a sideshow attraction at Coney Island! It was the only way the doctor who invented them could get funding to keep them running because no one thought it would work. It showed a lot of people that really premature babies could survive with the right treatment and eventually was adopted by hospitals.

The green revolution in agriculture that prevented around a billion people from starving to death

Portaui lacrimis madidus te, nostra catella,

     Quod feci lustris laetior ante tribus.

Ergo mihi, Patrice, iam non dabis oscula mille

     Nec poteris collo grata cubare meo.

Tristis marmorea posui te sede merentem

     Et iunxi semper manib(us) ipse meis

Morib(us) argutis hominem simulare paratam,

     Perdidimus quales hei mihi delicias.

Tu, dulcis Patrice, nostras attingere mensas

    Consueras, gremio poscere blanda cibos,

Lambere tu calicem lingua rapiente solebas,

     Quem tibi saepe meae sustinuere manus,

Accipere et lassum cauda gaudente frequenter

And here’s my translation:

Wet with tears I have carried you, our little (female) dog, just as I did in happier times fifteen years earlier (lit. “three periods of five years).  For myself, Patrice, now you will not give me a thousand kisses nor will you be able to lie lovingly around/against my neck.  I have sorrowfully placed you, merit-worthy, in a marble tomb and I have joined you always to myself in death, as by your cleverness you matched a human.  Alas, we lost such pleasures for myself!  You, sweet Patrice, were accustomed to join us at our table, to beg charmingly for food (while sitting in our) laps.  You were in the habit of greedily licking our cups with your tongue, which my hands often held for you.  Frequently and joyfully (you) receive a weary one with your (wagging) tail...

The statute of limitations on arson is 6 years.

So whenever I remember an embarrassing or shameful thing I’ve done, I ask myself if it was worse than arson. If it wasn’t, and it was 6 or more years ago, I forgive myself.